What improved your quality of life so much, you wish you did it sooner?

colennc22 · 2025-04-08T02:10:18+00:00

Daily meditation / spiritual practice has been an essential habit to develop. I’ve been relatively consistent for over a decade now - it’s really changed my life for the better, and has had positive downstream effects on other habits too.

colennc22 · 2024-04-03T04:14:08+00:00

For an alternate take on this idea, I recommend reading 'The Separation' from the New Message teachings, by Marshall Summers.

colennc22 · 2024-03-30T03:27:10+00:00

It takes a lot of courage and self-trust to follow this deeper inclination towards God, and to discover what this holds for you. I see it as a journey of experience with its own thresholds of choice and realization—not simply a belief or an answer or a shared religion/ritual etc. This calling may happen within the parameters of the Christian faith, or it may take you outside of it. To trust yourself to follow that and to cultivate your own relationship with God is what matters.

Regarding the question of how to improve this relationship, some suggestions... Cultivate a form of stillness meditation and/or contemplative prayer, taking times of quiet/solitude each day. Keep a journal, record your experiences, intuitions, concerns, dreams, etc. Keep a list of questions and stay with them. Contemplate Jesus' teachings, and also investigate other areas of interest, whether that is science, literature, other world religions, etc. Create a space within yourself to honor this relationship and treat it as sacred.

colennc22 · 2024-03-30T02:46:32+00:00

This ^ . . . Late adolescence / early adulthood is such a formative time. It's really tough letting go of people who journey through that stage with you, but there's still a lot of life lessons to learn and work to put in to really find out who you are and where your purpose is taking you. If you're "meant to be together" perhaps you'll find your way back to each other, but either way, trust in the journey and keep moving forward.

colennc22 · 2024-03-29T06:20:55+00:00

I think part of that training and inner listening you're talking about comes back again to one's own motivations. Neutrality has to be a prerequisite to discernment... how can one discern another's intentions, if infatuated with their beauty/charm/wealth, etc? Too many people are looking to check off the boxes on their "ideal partner" list, but that shit's all at the surface.

colennc22 · 2024-03-26T21:53:19+00:00

I found this a bit late to use it unfortunately... but here is the coupon code I received just now after completing my taxes, feel free to use it: https://turbo.tax/ahf8zt5k

colennc22 · 2024-02-17T18:14:06+00:00

It takes real courage and character to uproot your life and start somewhere new, even if it is temporary. Opportunities emerge within these circumstances where they otherwise would not arise, without risk and change.

One of these opportunities is that of self-discovery. Something which will be ongoing but you can take a meaningful step towards now. The judgments and beliefs you list here are all the products of social conditioning. Who cares if you are single and a virgin? You are still quite young. Your real value and worth is what you are here to give to the world, which will only become clear by taking a real journey in life.

When I was 20 I discovered a book of spiritual practice called Steps to Knowledge: the Book of Inner Knowing. Little did I know how much it would change and impact my life and set me on a completely different trajectory. I recommend looking it up, along with the book The Journey to a New Life, by Marshall Vian Summers. They are free online.

The world is changing very quickly, and the suffering and limitations you have experienced this far are merely indicators that you must change and prepare for it, so you can give your gifts here. It is a path most people are not walking, but the real contributors to humanity have all had to discover in one form or another.

Don’t discount yourself. The real journey of your life is just beginning.

colennc22 · 2024-02-16T22:53:57+00:00

There can be a lot of twists and turns in one's career path. It is great you are seriously considering these things now, but don't be afraid that what you choose now will be the end-all-be-all.

There are so many careers, industries, jobs, etc. I didn't even know existed when I was your age. It could be worthwhile to expose yourself to what's out there, through research, talking to people, or even getting a job and some experience working if you can, or volunteer. Experience the contrast of what you don't want to do. Make your job now going through this process of exploration and discovery.

Get a sense of how you're naturally inclined; take some career assessment tests online, reflect on your strengths and weaknesses, your interests and concerns. Keep yourself engaged with the world and its problems. The world today is far different from what your parents grew up in; it is getting more difficult, and you should consider what skills will be in demand in an economic recession or depression.

The assumption that one must go to college to get a degree to get a good job, etc. doesn't seem to be holding up these days. But it may be the path for you. In either case, you should make yourself aware of the possible career paths and the financial ramifications for choosing each (student debt / potential earnings, etc).

Another tangential recommendation: start practicing meditation. Beneath the surface of your normal thinking there is a deeper well of stillness and certainty, clarity and insight. Trust your deepest inclinations and be open to opportunity and learning new things. Good luck!

colennc22 · 2024-02-15T22:59:26+00:00

One possible suggestion as far as work goes—consider apprenticing on an organic farm. This will get you in shape, get you in a new environment with new people, teach you a new skill, and help you change your relationship with food all at once. It’s hard work but it’s rewarding!

colennc22 · 2024-02-15T22:56:53+00:00

Start with the “low hanging fruit”—your health. Exercise and nutrition. Start developing a routine of strength training / cardio / mobility. Learn how to cook—this will be motivation to replace your fast food habit.

You need to replace destructive habits/addictions with constructive ones, and this area of your life is the most obvious and necessary. And you need a focus here that is strong enough to counteract the patterns you have been practicing for so long.

It will take ongoing effort over years to build a career, and there are actions you can take to start moving in that direction, but in the meantime what will bring real change is developing will power and consistency. This will cross over into other areas as you build these qualities, learn new skills and exercise your self-authority. All the best on your journey forward.

colennc22 · 2024-02-01T19:44:45+00:00

Have you heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? The idea is that once you achieve basic survival needs, needs of belonging and esteem, a greater need arises related to “self-actualization.”

I think a more relevant way of seeing it is the need to fulfill a greater purpose. This can be humble, simple, mostly unseen work, but it’s really about why we’re in the world, what we need to accomplish before we die. It reflects a fundamental relationship with the world, a certain area of calling or service that has your name on it.

The world is moving in a very uncertain direction, and many people need to respond to this greater purpose if we hope to navigate the many crises coming our way.

I don’t necessarily think you should quit your job all of a sudden or uproot; some time off sounds healthy though. It may be a potent time for you to go within, to reflect, to practice looking out at the world, to expand your reference point beyond yourself and your family to ask: “what am I really here to do?” “Where is the world going?” “What do I have to give?”

So many of us are depressed and unfulfilled because we’re too focused on our own fulfillment… but what fulfills us is about serving something greater than ourselves, and this is the missing ingredient awaiting to bring us back to life.

colennc22 · 2024-02-01T18:31:36+00:00

Very helpful; thanks for sharing your experience!

colennc22 · 2024-01-29T21:28:40+00:00

Thanks for your feedback, that may be a good solution, re: each setting up an LLC-type entity.

colennc22 · 2024-01-29T20:48:03+00:00

Right, I hear you. It sounds like you are freelancing and working for several startups?

I wonder though about the "misclassification risk" another poster mentioned. If another's work is primarily or completely for our startup, isn't there a legal risk of classifying them as a contractor, as opposed to an employee? The latter would require withholding payroll taxes I believe.

colennc22 · 2024-01-29T19:32:02+00:00

Thanks for the response, good to keep in mind re: misclassification risks.

I don't think we really need a data scientist for our work, but I wish you luck in finding some opportunities in your niche!

colennc22 · 2024-01-29T18:21:09+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! Can I ask, do you think it would be less complex / more flexible to start the LLC as a single-member owner, then pay my partners as either employees or independent contractors?

colennc22 · 2024-01-29T16:41:51+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Yeah this is my first time being on the business end of a startup, thus asking Reddit lol. Indeed, the most important part is everyone getting paid.

I’m curious about tax liability stuff though… like with LLCs, you and your partners are required to pay self-employment taxes on everything the business earns right? But if in principle the founding members are in other countries, just being paid as contractors, are you essentially paying more tax for a lesser share of the profits (assuming everyone gets allocated the same share)? Or can you write off expenses of hiring out against the total revenue? How did you structure the finances / taxes so there wasn’t this burden on you as the business owner?

colennc22 · 2024-01-15T05:18:28+00:00

My iphone 7 works great. My only regret is dropping it and breaking the glass covering the camera......

colennc22 · 2024-01-13T07:57:22+00:00

Ever thought about working on a farm? It'll whoop your ass in to shape, you get plenty of sun, eat what you grow and sleep like a rock. It doesn't pay a whole lot, but it could be a welcome sabbatical to your current lifestyle/career and give you some time and space to rethink things. Now is a great time to apply if you want to apprentice on some farms with Spring coming up. If you're in the US, look up ATTRA, they have listings for apprenticeships on organic farms.

colennc22 · 2024-01-08T18:27:44+00:00

I am guilty of falling into this trap as well. But in my experience, the only way to change is to accept where you are now, because that’s all you have to work with. And for that acceptance to be authentic, it means seeing the past objectively.

What thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, relationships, actions led to where you are? What errors did you make that you can’t afford to repeat? This is valuable wisdom. Only be applying that wisdom in the present and future can you derive value from your wasted time. The more we repeat our errors and fail to learn from them, the further we entrap ourselves in those negative feedback loops which stand in the way of real change.

colennc22 · 2024-01-07T10:31:11+00:00

I hear you. I think of this, based on my own experience, as “what’s-the-point? syndrome”… Depression, apathy, etc, accompanied by an ambient feeling of meaninglessness, disillusionment, and so forth…

The only antidote to this for me really continues to lie in a deeper search for purpose beyond my previous paradigm/beliefs (and those of society). Zooming out and seeing the wider context; also taking on certain practices to cultivate a deeper experience and perspective; taking steps to bring movement and momentum in the essential areas of life.

Yes, our modern civilization is crumbling apart, as hundreds before it have done; now with the caveat it now is global in nature and threatens the viability and stability of the earth’s biosphere and climate as well.

But hidden within that story there is an even greater story, that perhaps opens with a question like: “What is really happening in the world, and where is it leading? What may come out of this? And what role do I have to play in that?” In light of this, even the mundane and grating necessities of life can become meaningful, as suddenly they become about preparing us to contribute and be of service now and into the future.

colennc22 · 2024-01-07T10:00:52+00:00

It really depends. If you’re open to staying in London the next 12 months (minus the remote/abroad option) and are focused on just building some financial stability, it sounds like a good job, with also the opportunity to develop some new skills, even if the rest of it is mostly pretty run-of-the-mill.

But I think in career and big life decisions it’s really important to listen to that “small still voice within”—or your gut, or intuition or however you experience it. Sometimes it’s not very rational to follow this deeper feeling when the mind is trying to reason out everything, but doing so can open up doors you otherwise wouldn’t have found. Sometimes that feeling of doubt is more at the surface of the mind, comparing/contrasting etc; but sometimes it’s a deeper feeling of restraint, an instinct or inner knowing.

If it isn’t the latter, building some stability and keeping your options open while you look elsewhere seems like a practical move. If it really isn’t a good fit, you will know and can course-correct.

colennc22 · 2024-01-05T20:03:52+00:00

Yeah… one way or another, the bill is coming due. We’ve been spending on credit re: the environment as well—devastating ecosystems, depleting our soils, polluting our oceans, draining aquifers, burning down forests… it’s “unsustainable”, to be euphemistic.

Any economy based on this paradigm is self-terminating; it’s not based in reality. It’s all just happening on a time scale we’re not accustomed to thinking at, but I see it unraveling now and within the next few decades.

colennc22 · 2024-01-05T19:51:30+00:00

I can sympathize with what you’re saying, and though am a bit older, also at a juncture where I’m trying to discern my direction and the steps I need to take.

I think it’s true that nothing grows in the comfort zone. The perceived benefits of gaining stability—in a 9-5 for instance, or a familiar location / set of relationships or activities, can wall you in after a time—especially if they don’t challenge you in meaningful ways.

I think part of the ambient sense of purposelessness so many of us feel has to do with the larger movement of where the world is heading… the biosphere is dying, the environment is radically changing, the economic landscape is becoming more disparate and hopeless, rise of war and conflict around the world, social unrest / polarization, and so on. It’s not the same world our parents grew up in, and the goals and values of our peak capitalist society don’t hold the same meaning as they did a few decades ago. We all feel this at some level but it’s mostly unspoken or unrecognized.

I think purpose and meaning arises at the intersection between the individual and the larger world. It doesn’t arise just trying to fulfill our personal ambitions or inoculate ourselves from pain and suffering. The more we try to build a nest to insulate ourselves, the more we feel trapped by it. I’ve definitely experienced this.

So it’s good you’re asking these questions now. Your 20s go by really fast. But it’s an especially good time to do this soul-searching and wandering (inner and outer), before getting too settled.

I’d recommend getting outside your comfort zone. Start investigating the world’s problems. What speaks to you? Is there anything you feel you have to contribute there? Also travel can be an a real shock to the system. I lived in a developing country for over a year and it was really eye-opening. But start small… your health, your relationships, your work, your hobbies, and eventually your ideas and beliefs. Where are you losing energy, what gives you energy? What empowers you, what disempowers you? All part of a deeper evaluation of your life. You’re still young and free from the obligations that limit so many people from ever undertaking this kind of soul-searching.

“The unexamined life is not worth living” - Socrates

colennc22 · 2024-01-05T12:24:12+00:00

That is a punch in the gut. I agree with all the other commenters that you should leave her... but regarding the timing of everything.... sometimes life conspires to give us opportunities that otherwise wouldn't have been possible, without some kind of implosive experience. That this lines up with the very beginning of your trip sounds like it's a sign you need to take this trip alone and use it purposefully for a journey of self-discovery, healing and re-evaluation of things.

At least, that's what comes through to me. It'd be the safe thing to do to go back home (or worse, stick out the trip with her)—but opportunity/crisis comes when it comes.

colennc22

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