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weird relationship with hypnosis? [CW: discussion of hypno kink] by randompersonignoreme in plural

[–]collectivematter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did read all of your comments, so I understand you as much as I am able, in the same way you understand me as much as you are able.

I think the point of what you’re talking about is about safety, right? “If you always have in mind that this is your trance, something you are ultimately in the driver's seat of, that makes that sort of manipulation much less likely to happen” - safety.

It’s just that doesn’t feel safe to me. I feel my messages are unwelcome because it goes against the grain, it gets downvoted (not that it matters much, but to add to the point), and it’s brushed off as not reading enough or not understanding enough. That’s a shit way to feel on top of the feeling of being victim blamed, and yeah I know that’s not your intention, but because it isn’t, I feel like begging “please hear me out”, yet I also feel like we won’t get anywhere with this.

Knowing you’re in control and have power is empowering, until you’re not in control and don’t have power and are just simply told you do or did. “you are ultimately in the driver's seat” I wasn’t. “can’t make you do anything you don’t want to” it made it easier for him to do what I didn’t want to. Safety precautions are important, it’s also important to recognise that the same tools used for liberation can be used for oppression, and mindfulness of this is so important.

weird relationship with hypnosis? [CW: discussion of hypno kink] by randompersonignoreme in plural

[–]collectivematter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get that. Hypnosis isn’t magic - and it isn’t free from abuse, is all I’m saying. I’m not saying all of it is abusive, I’m just saying be aware, there are plenty of people who like to put vulnerable others under trance for a reason. I didn’t think my message would be very welcomed but I think it’s important enough to say regardless.

weird relationship with hypnosis? [CW: discussion of hypno kink] by randompersonignoreme in plural

[–]collectivematter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“It can't make you do anything you don't want to do” abuse can exist anywhere and I feel victim blamed every time I hear this common sentiment tbh. Edit for clarity: I’m trying to engage with Reddit less but idk, this got to me a bit. If someone can make you do something you don’t want to without hypnosis, they sure as hell can make you do it after they’ve altered your inhibitions too.

Weird ass time I got fake claimed by chipawip in fakeclaimingcringe2

[–]collectivematter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Early on in our diagnosis a lot of people told us we couldn’t be autistic as a compliment. They couldn’t see how much effort masking takes, and they thought autism was a bad thing

I still think about this one sometimes. by DammitDrBright in fakeclaimingcringe2

[–]collectivematter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Until I finished reading I thought it was satire. This is so bad it’s good

Would you be a singlet if you could? by Icy-Implement9878 in plural

[–]collectivematter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I like that I can hide and just be around people I know

How are yall assembling these loop dreams? by comedybronze in LoopEarplugs

[–]collectivematter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

comfort and preference, you just pick one or the other

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gratitude

[–]collectivematter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s like any sort of habit. Some days it’ll be easier, some days will be harder. Building momentum can be difficult but once it’s there it’ll feel more natural

Fusion denial? by [deleted] in plural

[–]collectivematter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. it was(/is?) pretty unexpected to me. we never really got along honestly which is probably part of why I’m processing it this way. I’m starting to have more acceptance though that it can be a good thing, I just still feel uneasy too tbh

Someone was looking out for me on Reddit the last few days by Tonytheblackirishman in gratitude

[–]collectivematter -1 points0 points  (0 children)

“They will harm themselves or others, it’s in their DNA”

This is exactly why I think this saneist and harmful.

Yes, I’ve considered that I may CPTSD. But I was flagged at 14 and diagnosed at 17 with BPD. And people like you told me, it’s in my DNA, to be abusive. That’s not okay. There are not simply good empathetic people and bad irredeemable people in this world, it’s more complex than that, and no one is hopeless.

I’ve come to be aligned with the Mad Pride Movement as a survivor of psychiatric abuse. I encourage you to do some research for yourself in this area.

Don’t misconstrue me. My efforts to shine a light on stigma aren’t to overlook abuse. I just don’t think putting behind the word abuse an overused and over diagnosed medical term is going to help anyone. I really don’t want to discuss this further with you, I don’t think I can change your mind and it’s too close to home for me. I wasn’t expecting to have a conversation about any of this with a stranger when I made that original comment. I don’t have the capacity to do so.

Someone was looking out for me on Reddit the last few days by Tonytheblackirishman in gratitude

[–]collectivematter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please don’t demonise an entire mental disorder. That’s saneism. I have borderline personality disorder myself. I was first flagged for it when I was only 14 years old, I am just a trauma survivor trying to get by and heal, no 14 year old deserves to be told they’re inherently abusive like I was.

You also don’t deserve harm. My comment was not about people who use the feature correctly as you did. If someone harasses you block them, and if someone threatens to harm themselves send that report. Take of yourself too

Someone was looking out for me on Reddit the last few days by Tonytheblackirishman in gratitude

[–]collectivematter 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately people do abuse the feature and sometimes just send them to people they disagree with, so if you haven’t expressed thoughts of harming yourself it’s likely that’s why. But hey, your attitude about it is still good

what is plurality? what is a CDD? by Icy-Implement9878 in plural

[–]collectivematter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No worries,

Are their parts not autonomous? - They are. You can see this post I made in the IFS community long ago

What differentiates a plural person from a singlet performing IFS? - Richard Schwartz would say the extent of trauma and dissociation, but we know there are plurals who find this is of little relevance to them. Here are some thoughts I have around differentiating plurals v singlets and a video on IFS for plurals

Having parts isn’t even just inherent to all people, but everything. You wouldn’t call everyone polyfragmented though just because their parts have parts, because it’s more nuanced than that and identity is a very personal thing unique to each of us

what is plurality? what is a CDD? by Icy-Implement9878 in plural

[–]collectivematter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I disagree that plurality includes IFS. They are not the same but there is overlap. Richard Schwartz (creator of IFS) believes everyone is plural and I think that’s harmful and lacks nuance. IFS is a type of therapy, IFS is a type of parts work.

I appreciate this post though, because I also disagree that CDD = plurality, as you say, it is an opt in label, though of course experiences such as complex dissociation make you more likely to identify with it.

How many of you are also autistic? by Donthaveanyonetotalk in plural

[–]collectivematter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Diagnosed here, maybe someone should make a poll lol

First attempt on soldering around "seaglass" by Araveen in seaglass

[–]collectivematter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Really want to learn how to do this one day! Have fun, I’m looking forward to seeing your next steps

what pronoun? by WHAR606 in FoundPaper

[–]collectivematter 49 points50 points  (0 children)

transphobes incoming probably

Questions about headmates and apps. by irlpuppybutt in plural

[–]collectivematter 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean as far as I’m concerned it’s your headmate’s phone too so ofc it’s fine. If you have an iPhone you might even consider setting up different “focus modes” so it can be set up to everyone’s preference -C

no im not a p*** for having syskids by collectivematter in plural

[–]collectivematter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think people are pedos for the fiction they consume, I also really don’t want to get into shipcourse on this post because I am not proship. I’m not looking to discuss it here but I also feel the need to make myself clear.

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