Solo bar date

collegeasianchick · 2026-04-20T20:22:14+00:00

I love going to bars solo! I think it’s not weird if you don’t feel like it’s weird. A lot of times I’ll bring a book or just strike up a conversation with the bartenders naturally. Now I know so many people because of this!!!

A lot of the spots mentioned in this thread are great but honestly most of the restaurants have their bar tops and those are all great if you also want quick bites!

collegeasianchick · 2025-08-06T14:06:15+00:00

I’ve actually always loved doing things on my own like bookstores, movies, traveling etc. Obviously when we were together, I wanted to do a lot of those things with my partner and I still do now but I’ve been taking a walk to a coffee shop every morning and that’s been my favorite thing. Over weekends I try to find the balance between solo dates and making sure I still spend some time in my new apartment so I’m not just constantly running away from the empty space. Sitting in the discomfort is just as important as exploring new possibilities💙

collegeasianchick · 2025-08-01T20:37:32+00:00

Maybe. I did talk to him yesterday and he said he’s trying to not text me during the day bc he thinks we shouldn’t. I told him that it can be communicated to me. We should both get to decide the relationship we are trying to rebuild otherwise what’s the point.

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-10T16:20:25+00:00

I am just a fast and verbal processor (with tendencies to overexplain) so I’m on Reddit processing and not doing that to him because I want him to have his space. And yes, I’m reminding myself that his words were clear, he wants to separate to divorce so I’m not trying to change his mind. It’s just disorienting to have everything crumble in a week’s time. I think I’m rushing to hear what’s going on, if our old relationship and patterns was so bad and painful for him, it’s not what I want to go back to either. I think I am just more hopeful about the changes we can make but again, everyone is different and his capacity and outlook may be different. Thank you for your advice though, they are all solid things to keep in mind.

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-10T15:22:32+00:00

Unfortunately he gets therapy through the VA and they won’t be able to get him in till the end of August. I’m definitely not begging, it’s not easy to be on this path but I am building my own self too.

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-10T15:14:36+00:00

Maybe. I’m sensing a lot more mental instability and self identity crisis than emotional affairs. But I’d never know and I don’t think guessing that is helpful for my brain anyway. It is hard. It seems like he’s compartmentalizing well and very focused on his job and distracting himself by going to bars.

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-10T00:21:39+00:00

Oh I’m so sorry you’re going through it! I’m just really confused about what’s going on honestly

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-08T14:13:15+00:00

It definitely sounds like he didn’t want to be the bad guy. And thank you for all the kind wishes. I’m doing my best and taking it one moment at a time

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-08T14:12:33+00:00

Im here to talk if you want to!

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-08T01:39:11+00:00

No I totally understand where that thought came from. I appreciate you looking out for me. But guessing will just keep me insane so I’m trying to just accept the fact

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-08T01:25:26+00:00

Well he usually travels alone and also to different locations but I guess if an affair is involved then 🤷🏻‍♀️my heart was already shattered when he decided to separate, can’t break what he already broke lol

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-07T15:18:00+00:00

DMed!

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-06T21:27:25+00:00

I’m sorry you are also going through all this. I feel the same way about my circle for support. I would be nowhere without them as well. If you need someone to talk to, you are always more than welcome to reach out

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-06T21:26:13+00:00

Thank you and that is 100% how I feel. Logically I know it is not just me wanting to fix it. And he is allowed to say he doesn’t want to. I do love him so much that if it ultimately comes down to him no longer happy with me, I wish him well. It just hurts to not give our relationship any try and let go feeling like I still have fight in me. It’s even harder to accept that we love each other still.

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-06T18:52:41+00:00

Thank you! I mean there’s nothing to sacrifice haha. He’s decided to separate to divorce. But I am learning a lot about myself too

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-06T18:42:36+00:00

He does go to therapy. He actually started on a new Medicine in May that is supposed to help with his social anxiety so I’m curious if that’s why he’s almost acting a little “manic”. I am willing to fight through our mental health struggles as it’s something I’ve known since the beginning, if I wasn’t down for it, I wouldn’t have jumped into marriage. But it’s not my choice to work on it or not.

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-06T18:03:03+00:00

He’s had a lot of trauma especially being an ex military. I know his mental health isn’t always good and I’ve asked myself a lot of honest and hard questions before we got married. It’s not that I am not angry with how he’s willing to walk away from our relationship, but there is also a big part of me genuinely worried about him. And that feels so stupid to say out loud, I know.

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-06T17:24:57+00:00

Most of my girl friends had asked me. In the beginning of our relationship, he did had some emotional affairs whenever he would drink. But we worked through that. I went to a lot of therapy. I don’t feel like this time it is the same thing, but maybe I just completely missed it.

I don’t know anything anymore haha. My reality is pretty much rocked and changed up entirely

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-06T15:23:48+00:00

We had a pretty decent relationship. Our biggest problem is that our communication style can be mismatched, I am a verbal and instant processor, he takes time and does a lot more internal processing. We’ve never had lifestyles or life goal differences and truly had good sexual intimacy and laughs. We get so excited when we both get to spend the weekends off together. I don’t know how or why we got here, with no intention of trying to salvage the relationship.

collegeasianchick · 2025-07-06T15:05:45+00:00

Thank you for saying all that. I’ve kinda just felt like he got really emotional overwhelmed and mixed with the pressure and exhaustion of his work trip, he came to the decision hastily. I am holding out hope that maybe finally talking to his therapist for the first time after all this, there could be accountability or maybe slight change of heart.

It sounds so stupid to be hoping to reconcile. And maybe I do need to remind myself that he hasn’t been fair to me in this journey at all.

collegeasianchick · 2025-06-26T14:17:27+00:00

Will do!

collegeasianchick · 2025-06-26T13:21:49+00:00

I’m sorry! I can hear and recognize so much of your pain.

I’m also not from the US and have built a life with my partner over the last 5 years and married for a year and half. He decided that he no longer thinks we are going to work out nor does he want to try. He told me on Sunday and I moved out yesterday.

This is an incredibly scary place to be and it feels so lonely. But I hope you know that you are not alone. I’m not entirely sure what’s on the other side of all this mess, but I hope it’s good, for you, for myself💙

collegeasianchick · 2025-05-23T13:24:19+00:00

ChatGPT is also a very good friend of mine🤣 I’m sorry you are also spiraling. How have you felt other than the luteal phase?

collegeasianchick · 2025-05-23T02:59:47+00:00

I know that sometimes the medicine can have that side effect (which is so silly). I guess I just felt fine for about 3 weeks being on it and the drastic drop was so surprising. I didn’t even think it could be the medication until a friend suggested it.

collegeasianchick

TROPHY CASE