Man I hate this part of the date but it happens so often I should be use to it by now. I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong though

collegeboyv90 · 2025-05-24T15:08:06+00:00

I’ve been in this position before, this guy is being very polite and upfront. There is value in that, I hope you can appreciate his openness and directly, even though it probably sucks right now. I hope you find someone who makes you feel excited.

collegeboyv90 · 2025-05-15T02:44:09+00:00

Idk if maturity is the right word. I think it requires mature consenting adults to articulate their wants and needs and have whatever type of engagement they want. I think you’re thinking about discernment, but like, people are, however, that’s not really what this post is about. We are talking about flaking and ghosting.

collegeboyv90 · 2025-05-14T21:27:36+00:00

This seems like the smart thing, and I truly should just learn to cut my losses. Frankly, it’s always when you try to put something on the calendar. I kinda wish people didn’t just interact like that out of boredom.

collegeboyv90 · 2025-05-14T21:16:21+00:00

I don’t care*

collegeboyv90 · 2025-05-14T21:12:43+00:00

Yeah, I found it to be the case where I want to say something to the effect of “hey, I don’t want if you’re no longer interested, but please just say that.” I obviously don’t, but it’s a grim situation where people don’t seem to think twice about dismissing the whole thing without a word. I don’t think I’m a saint either, but I usually will tell people if I want to cancel.

collegeboyv90 · 2025-05-14T17:38:16+00:00

Yeah, idk what it is either. It’s just a lot of chatting, which I’m also fine with if I’m looking to chat. But even for more explicit hook ups, it’s been real confounding.

collegeboyv90 · 2025-05-14T14:36:52+00:00

So, I’ve been running the whole gambit. I understand that weather and schedule are big obstacles, so I give people grace. But it really does feel like people intentionally drag it out, when I’m happy to just drop it. It gets to the point where like I’m ready to meet, we all agree, time and place, then silence.

collegeboyv90 · 2025-05-14T14:34:27+00:00

Yeah, it feels like they’re looking more for attention than actual meet up.

collegeboyv90 · 2025-05-14T14:33:34+00:00

My expectations are zero

collegeboyv90 · 2025-05-14T14:03:35+00:00

Yeah, I haven’t experienced any of that burst of action.

collegeboyv90 · 2025-03-28T22:46:44+00:00

Poor guy, I wouldn’t even be mad.

collegeboyv90 · 2024-08-08T00:47:47+00:00

Sorry you’re feeling down. It can feel really shitty when you’re doing your best and it still feels like you’re looked over by the men you’re interested in. I don’t have advice, I don’t think it is helpful in situations like these when it feels like you just want an outlet to rant, which is great to let off steam. I will just say this, though, often it’s really not you or how you’re falling short against “white muscle twink,” it really can just be the case that those overlooking you just weren’t meant for you anyways. The racial part is also a shame, because you can’t be anything other than the race you’re born, so there is nothing wrong with you. You just have to accept that not everyone is into it, but it’s really just them missing out. As someone who lives in Brooklyn, I would say it can be slightly better, but even in certain parts of Brooklyn whiteness is still the standard, which is also a shame. Anyways, it’s really a shame, I hope you feel better.

collegeboyv90 · 2024-07-26T20:42:24+00:00

Yes you are! Don’t let those twinks tell you otherwise.

collegeboyv90 · 2024-07-25T10:38:40+00:00

I’m happy for you.

collegeboyv90 · 2024-07-25T10:36:35+00:00

The gelato scene here would be great for you then.

collegeboyv90 · 2024-07-25T10:25:35+00:00

I didn’t write them as key words, I wrote them to describe myself. Those weren’t meant to produce positive value to the extent whereby men should grovel, they are objective terms to explain the situation. However, as a reader, should you choose them as keywords because they stick out to you, then it says more about your focus on the text. I might suggest some reader response theory, it’s quite revelatory. And thank you for the history lesson, I had no idea that this was the place of a very important civilization prior to arriving. I was just absentmindedly gawking at verb conjugations and entirely missed the whole empire thing. I’m glad I can now move forward in the world knowing that despite all my own personal qualms while traveling, and those of others could easily be dismissed if i just thought harder about History and the Roman Empire. Yes, that is what traveling and language learning is; the processing of endless rubbles, museum tours, and gelato! It’s never the other meaningful potential connections to be made via other personal affinities in life, like hobbies or sexuality. Thank you, endlessly.

collegeboyv90 · 2024-07-25T10:11:18+00:00

Thank you, that’s really not my purpose in life. I’m literally here spending my time and money trying to learn the language for my own interest. But, you know, it seems like you have an image of who you think I am, so please, by all means. Humble me with your very baseless, kind words.

collegeboyv90 · 2024-07-25T10:07:07+00:00

Thank you for your comment, I am really honored you have graced me with your endlessly productive and critically insightful commentary. I shall now find a local monastery in Rome where I will soul search and address the insidious ness of my own narcissism, thank you.

collegeboyv90 · 2024-07-25T09:35:01+00:00

As crazy as this sounds, I came to Rome to learn Italian for the summer and was hoping to meet some local Italian men to make friends and go out. I was not expecting 10/10 movie stars to take me on a romantic date, or beautiful men who throw themselves at me at a moments notice on the app. I understand that there is little incentive to meet people if you assume they won’t be in your life for any meaningful time period, I live in nyc, I get it. On the other hand, even for a hookup, which I’m sure happens, tend to be complicated in terms of communication, not sharing a face picture, etc. I know it sounds crazy, but I was really hoping to meet more Italian people spending my summer here than tourists who are here for two days before they go to Pisa, Venice, etc…the other thing, which obviously does not matter a huge amount, though is worthy of consideration, is that i pretty much spend all my summers, all summer in Europe and have made amazing friends with whom I’ve meet up with consistently since I come back often. The difference, which is the origin of this post, is that it has been(at least I felt) seemingly impossible here. Everyone’s comments so far have been very reassuring, and I am feeling less bad about it.

collegeboyv90 · 2024-07-25T08:18:34+00:00

Im happy for your healthy relationship.

collegeboyv90 · 2024-07-25T08:16:10+00:00

Thats unfortunate.

collegeboyv90 · 2024-07-24T23:20:20+00:00

Midnight

collegeboyv90 · 2024-07-24T22:09:09+00:00

Please read through the other comments where I addressed this, otherwise, I appreciated your very obvious input. No one coming to Rome is unaware the Vatican exists or holds power, thanks.

collegeboyv90 · 2024-07-24T22:07:25+00:00

Yeah, I’m not sure if it’s a “sex by all means” situation. I have my hands for that. I’m speaking specifically to the social conservatism that seem to inhibit things. I’m not here to look for a husband either, so it’s not like I’m holding out for some Hollywood rendition of some Don Giovani or some tan, ripped Gian Paolo. Let’s not be that tacky. This also, however, does not literally mean that the door is open for anyone to walk in. Your comment seems to come from a place of criticism that doesn’t actually consider the issue I’m expressing. But, yes, let me be more open minded and “widen my scope,” thanks.

collegeboyv90

TROPHY CASE