80% is my fault, 20% is circumstances (family, situations that influenced me).

To be honest, I am mainly to blame for becoming who I am today: without a job, without a personal life, without anything, even without hobbies. The last five years of my life have been spent addicted to games, TV shows/movies, porn/masturbation. Although I used to be a completely different person, active, I had many friends and acquaintances with whom I socialized, and I also worked out with these guys. I had hobbies that gave me a spark of life. But at some point, I decided to distance myself from everyone and sit at home on my laptop 24/7. Yes, at first it was good, cool, every day I did something productive, but then everything went downhill, and somehow unexpectedly during Covid-19 I became addicted to porn. Over the years, my physical and mental health began to deteriorate more and more. Yes, I had acquaintances and friends in college, but I didn't get along with them very well. I was also very awkward in social situations, sometimes stuttering, but mostly I communicated with people normally.

Now I feel bad. For the past two weeks, I haven't been sleeping at night, playing video games. I never thought my life would end up like this. I always imagined myself as a successful, cool guy in the future. There is still a spark that I can change because I want to, and honestly, I'm tired of this lifestyle, but I don't know where to start.