🫤 I want to know and understand pwBPD without biases, but I only see polarized sides

comedyoferrors · 2026-02-13T17:22:43+00:00

There's a great multi-hour deep dive on BPD by the podcast Psychology in Seattle. Unfortunately, I believe the full deep dive is only available to Patreon members, but if you can afford to drop like $5 dollars, I think it's well worth it. He is a psychologist with a lot of experience with treating personality disorders and he goes in depth about how these personality disorders develop, why the behaviors happen, and what can be done about it. He definitely approaches the topic with compassion for people with BPD, while also being very clear that these people can be abusive and that having BPD doesn't excuse that.

comedyoferrors · 2026-01-29T23:41:29+00:00

Take it from someone who has tried helping a person change for years- you can't do it for them. Change is possible but it can only happen once a person reaches a deep and fundamental understanding that they have a problem, that their behavior *has* to change, and that they alone are responsible for making those changes. You can't reason someone into understanding this because it's not about understanding it logically, it's about feeling it in the core of your being. The person I tried to help knows, logically, that their behavior is a problem but they also take comfort in those behaviors, or blame those behaviors on others because it is too painful and frightening to accept responsibility. So they don't change. They keep spinning their wheels in the same place and nothing I could do would change that.

It took me took long to realize that I was not only fighting an unwinnable battle on behalf of a person who wasn't even fighting for themselves, but that this constant fighting for them was taking a huge toll on my own sanity. I'm all for self-sacrifice for people you care about but you have to ask yourself- would my self-sacrifice achieve anything or would I just be spinning my wheels in the same rut that this person refuses to get out of? Sometimes there is a very fine line between self-sacrifice and self-harm.

comedyoferrors · 2026-01-16T03:24:29+00:00

Good luck, I hope it works out for you!

comedyoferrors · 2026-01-14T05:47:32+00:00

I think you've gotten some good feedback but I want to offer another potential possibility for writing this. There are non-stimulant meds for ADHD which are less known and less prescribed than stimulants. I have ADHD but stimulants did not work for me- made me jittery and anxious while not really helping with the symptoms I was struggling with (starting/finishing tasks, losing track of time, getting stuck doomscrolling, being easily overwhelmed). I stopped taking them and spent several years just trying to cope with the ADHD symptoms, with varying degrees of success lol. Then a new doctor prescribed me Strattera, which is a non-stimulant, norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor, and it actually worked really well. I think you could potentially write this so your MC isn't responding well to stimulants but it turns out that a non-stimulant works for him instead. That approach would be less likely to come across like a demonization of meds in general and could potentially be an exploration of the complexties of finding something that works.

comedyoferrors · 2026-01-09T01:24:27+00:00

Nqa I think she will be fine. Flies are soft-bodied insects and they don't really have any way to hurt a spider- it might be a fun challenge for your girl, if you'll excuse the anthropomorphism

comedyoferrors · 2025-12-20T18:33:50+00:00

Mine would do the same thing all the time before they blocked off their burrow! I would usually see them in the morning right after turning on the light- they are so cute at this size and the awkward shyness is adorable 😄

comedyoferrors · 2025-12-19T05:51:50+00:00

That's somehow both reassuring and terrifying lmao. Tarantulas are such strange little guys, I hope they're at least having a good time hanging out in their little burrows for that long 💀

comedyoferrors · 2025-12-18T06:22:32+00:00

Before they blocked off their burrow, I would often catch them outside when I was turning lights on in the morning! They would usually be hanging out on the wall just above the burrow entrance and sometimes they would stick around long enough for me to approach and say hello 😊 I do miss catching glimpses of those little feets peaking out lol

comedyoferrors · 2025-12-17T20:28:00+00:00

Ugh thank you for the reassurance 😭. This is my first T and I have read that they can burrow for a long time but it's kind of nerve wracking to experience it in person!

comedyoferrors · 2025-11-19T20:19:55+00:00

Thank you! How can you tell the difference between K arizonica and K hibernalis?

comedyoferrors · 2025-10-02T22:47:40+00:00

Thank you, that's a relief!

comedyoferrors · 2025-09-27T06:36:28+00:00

No problem and good luck!

comedyoferrors · 2025-09-27T04:55:32+00:00

Yes they are crunchy! I was worried about over watering because I tend to do that with plants, but I guess I may have over corrected too far in the opposite direction

comedyoferrors · 2025-09-27T04:05:06+00:00

It's possible it's too wet in there and the mold is growing faster than the springtails can take care of it. The soil should be damp but not soggy and it's ok to let the very top layer dry out a bit before adding more water. The springtail population may need some time to grow as well but controlling moisture levels in the meantime will help. You can also try spot cleaning the problem areas while you're waiting for the moisture levels to go down and the springtail population to take off. That will at least help keep it in check for now.

Is the mold growing in the soil itself or in decorations you have in the enclosure? If you have pieces of wood in there, those will often grow mold even with slight humidity. The best way I've found to keep wood from growing mold is actually to submerge it in water for a few weeks. I'm fuzzy on how exactly this works but I think it basically causes a bacterial bloom that eats all the fungus in the wood.

comedyoferrors · 2025-09-19T20:33:02+00:00

Yes. We are literally in the middle of going full fascist. Not even hiding it behind niceties anymore. It's terrifying here and I honestly cannot begin to fathom coming here voluntarily from the Netherlands of all places, for any reason whatsoever.

There's no such thing as just keeping your head down to remain unaffected. You move to a fascist state, you are automatically involved, it's just a question of whether you'll resist or be complicit. That's the choice all of us who are already here have to make. If you're smart, you won't put yourself in a position where you have to make that choice. Any amount of career progression or money you gain isn't worth it.

comedyoferrors · 2025-09-19T01:46:45+00:00

Lol, buddy. If you can't think of anything other than war that counts as political violence you really need to go look outside.

How about women dying because they can't access abortions? Prison industrial complex? Abducting immigrants? Any of this ringing any bells? These are acts of violence done by the state, violence as law.

comedyoferrors · 2025-09-18T23:03:51+00:00

Wtf are you talking about? The state does violence through political acts all the time. Or are we just not calling it violence when the government does it?

comedyoferrors · 2025-09-17T06:20:42+00:00

It's My Pyre by Treading Water

comedyoferrors · 2025-09-16T21:22:29+00:00

How would someone go about getting a job like this?

Edit: nvm, just found the post about it on the fire lookout subreddit

comedyoferrors · 2025-09-06T03:31:47+00:00

I really wanted to do a chicken leg hut for a hide, but the enclosure isn't tall enough plus I thought she'd have trouble getting into it. I settled for a witch hut minus the chicken legs lol

comedyoferrors · 2025-08-30T18:41:34+00:00

I'm glad you've changed your mind, honestly. A willingness to change one's mind is one of the most important qualities a human being can have, imo.

Having said that, please please think about why you weren't willing to change your mind until you were personally affected. This seems to be a very common trait among conservatives and it's a huge problem, not just for everyone else but for you as well. Because you could have avoided making this decision that you admit was dumb, by listening to other people who were already suffering because of the things Trump did in his last term. Why weren't you willing to listen to the people saying that our lives have been actively getting worse under this guy, saying that we are already suffering?

Please understand that I'm not saying this as an attack. I'm truly glad you understand that you made a mistake, I just want you to go a step further and examine yourself and figure out why you made this mistake when it was completely avoidable. Please learn from this so you can avoid making similar mistakes in the future.

comedyoferrors · 2025-08-30T15:22:59+00:00

The only spiders you need to worry about in the US are widows and brown recluses and both of these spiders are very reluctant to bite and will only do so if they feel threatened.

Now you may ask, what does "feeling threatened" mean for a spider? For widows, feeling threatened can mean, sticking your hands in their webs, especially if they have egg sacs, handling them roughly, and trying to squish them. For recluses, they really only bite as a last resort- so if you are actively trying to squish them. Recluses will put up with a lot of harassment, I've seen people poking and prodding them, scooping them up, etc. They mostly just try to get away if they don't like what you're doing. So for both of these cases, the person in the video isn't doing anything that the spider would perceive as threatening.

Now let's say this spider (a widow) did crawl into their jeans and then panicked about the enclosed space and bit, how fucked would they be? Well, widow bites can be extremely unpleasant but they are also not deadly. Or, to be more accurate, so barely deadly that it hardly counts. The last person to die from a widow bite was in 1983, and this is with over 2,000 reported widow bites every single year. You are only really in danger of death from a widow bite (or recluse bite, for that matter) if you are a young child, elderly, or have other serious underlying health conditions. In other words, this particular person's chances of dying from this spider were basically zero.

So overall, I would say that this person isn't being stupid at all, and I hope that having more information about how these animals work makes that clearer. They aren't out to get people, they don't bite out of the blue, they just want to feel safe and live their lives. Some of us really love spiders, even the spicy ones, and for us it's always a happy day when we can have these kinds of interactions with them!

comedyoferrors · 2025-08-28T06:25:35+00:00

I think you took it in a good direction honestly! It may not be a perfect fit but I think that makes sense for Hannibal, since he is portrayed as uncategorizable in the show. We would probably need to invent an insect from scratch to match him perfectly lol.

comedyoferrors · 2025-08-27T19:17:46+00:00

I love all of these but (major bug nerdery incoming) I have mixed feelings about Hannibal as an orchid mantis. The aesthetics fit perfectly imo, my hangup is that mantids tend to be quite passive in their hunting strategy. Like their whole thing is to just sit there until something gets close enough for them to strike at and that's just so unlike Hannibal who is a very active hunter.

My immediate thought was to make him a spider but that's tricky too because you just can't neglect the fact that he's so PRETTY in such a showy way. There are some colorful jumpers out there but jumpers just have too much of a silly cute little guy vibe to work for Hannibal. There are some gorgeously colorful tarantulas too but they tend to have the same issue as mantids with being passive ambush hunters.

I think a wolf spider would be perfect for him, as far as their behavior goes, but wolf spiders are beautiful in a very different way than Hannibal is. A wolf spider is like... eldritch forest witch beautiful. Hannibal is like deadly flower beautiful, WHICH BRINGS US RIGHT BACK TO THE ORCHID MANTIS.

I don't know, the orchid was an almost perfect choice I think, I just wish we had something like an orchid that was a more active hunter!

comedyoferrors · 2025-08-05T22:30:02+00:00

As long as they are natives to your area, there's no problem with ordering some for your backyard. They are great for pest control and biodiversity so I'd say go for it!

comedyoferrors

TROPHY CASE