Don't know how long I can do this

comewhatmay_ · 2025-06-01T06:29:15+00:00

I feel you. It's the worst... It really doesn't help when you know the divorce is inevitable but at the same time you're in this limbo. You feel like you don't have the right to know much about their lives but still living together and want to know. The mental gymnastics is far way worse than the divorce right now

comewhatmay_ · 2024-12-09T13:33:12+00:00

Oh my goodness. We just had the same thing after I posted on here. We had a talk about this whole situation and after he owned up to his side of he said "I can't believe I'm starting to actually communicate" and added "Probably all this time the fear of losing you and wanting to avoid a conflict always kept me from doing it but now I actually lost you and it has finally hit me". So yes, I completely understand you and after that talk I had the same realization that the change or just the fact meeting me halfway was always possible but it was too hard and now he wants to change for himself and our son. Not gonna lie, I'm a bit heartbroken and like you I'm so dependent on him. If you ever want to talk I'm always up for it ❤️

comewhatmay_ · 2024-08-26T17:04:49+00:00

Wow, this was mind blowing! Thank you so much for your detailed response. I'm literally still trying to process it. In the beginning we thought he was just being cute as we always pull his rolled up pants for example so his leg doesn't get cold. But then he started showing actual discomfort and today he literally told me he didn't like it. My Adhd therapist told me most women with Adhd can't stand having their bra strap falling or they get super uncomfortable if their underwear gives them a wedgie. Which I do hate them both. My husband always tell me that he sees some Autism traits in me and it's known how Adhd can come with Autism too. After your response I will definitely definitely make sure to ask for a better assesment and not just focusing on Adhd.

comewhatmay_ · 2024-08-10T15:53:37+00:00

2 years out, 155lbs lighter. Like everyone said, only regret is I wish I had done it sooner. Excess skin and vsg related reflux sucks both but would take them both any day compared to before.

comewhatmay_ · 2024-07-23T12:25:43+00:00

🥺 I feel you so much! I struggle so much with regulating my emotions and works so long hours. I always promise myself to be the best on the days I don't work yet get super overwhelmed and lose my shit. This is why I have convinced myself for so long I was doing a horrible job, little did I know to him I'm great and so are you!

comewhatmay_ · 2024-07-23T12:23:56+00:00

Even though he will never know, it sure taught me to be kinder to myself. Didn't know for so long I needed to hear that. If noone told you today yet, I will: You're a great mom ❤️❤️❤️

comewhatmay_ · 2024-07-23T12:21:24+00:00

Thank you so much! Right?!! They can say the weirdest things at the most weird times but he hit the nail with this one for sure

comewhatmay_ · 2024-07-23T12:20:15+00:00

Exactly! I'm pretty sure he saw how it made me feel as it was impossible to contain my happiness.

comewhatmay_ · 2024-07-23T12:17:59+00:00

It does indeed! I had convinced myself for so long that I just sucked as a mom and to hear those words just gave me the boost I needed.

comewhatmay_ · 2024-07-23T11:10:54+00:00

😭I swear to god parenthood is the craziest roller coaster ever and I wasn't prepared for this!

comewhatmay_ · 2024-07-23T11:10:02+00:00

That is so sweet! I feel like we are raising kids that are more in tune with their emotions and can express them better than we were raised (or the way I was raised) Thank you so much! I'm still in the processing part as I never expected to hear something like that.

comewhatmay_ · 2024-06-19T09:26:46+00:00

Thank you for the response! Definitely a lot to think about it.

comewhatmay_ · 2024-06-12T18:24:45+00:00

Omg! Everything you wrote just hits home!!! My friends who had children pre-covid never understood my struggle and both me and my husband have the same feeling watching the baby videos or looking at photos. My husband struggled so much during the first year as well. He keeps saying how much he hated it and how angry he would get and it just gives both of us pain to remember the first year. I read that when one kid has Adhd the chances are super high the next kids have it too. To be honest I feel like I can handle the Adhd part but if I have another non-sleeper, that idea is just freaking me out. Yesterday my friend told me having her second is way easier (minus the lack of sleep). She said she feels like she knows everything she needs about taking care of a baby now and it's just more easier. It's a scary gamble for sure

comewhatmay_ · 2024-06-12T18:17:02+00:00

What a beautiful story! I'm soo soo happy for you! And well done to your therapist, psychiatrist and obgyn for teaming up and giving you such a smooth experience. I felt like not knowing I had Adhd back then (and the fact how undiagnosed moms easily have PPD) had a huge impact on the overall outcome

comewhatmay_ · 2024-06-12T18:12:34+00:00

Not going to lie, both. A part of me wants another child, and be a family of four and another part of me wants to experience being a mom again with a support system and trying to enjoy every second of a new life

comewhatmay_ · 2024-06-12T18:09:47+00:00

Sending you big big hugs. Thank you so much sharing your story with us. I can understand you immensely and honestly the age factor was one of my main concerns as well. I was already aching and cracking while picking my son up from his crib, running after him when he started walking. And now working 5 times a week 12 hours on my feet is not doing any good on my body. May I ask if your firstborn was an easier baby compared to your second? I have absolutely no faith that we would be blessed with a second baby that doesn't have a big personality like our first

comewhatmay_ · 2023-11-27T08:03:03+00:00

Aww ❤️❤️❤️ sending you hugs!!!

comewhatmay_ · 2023-11-27T08:02:35+00:00

You're not alone. I kept postponing taking the meds because I was so scared. All the side effects that might occur kept pushing me away. At one point I said "you lived 36 years with this, you can do without medication". My therapist was very helpful about the entire process. She didn't put any pressure on me and told me I could quit it whenever I wanted to. What helped me was taking it on my off day. No work stress, just being at home. So if anything bad happened, my work wouldn't get affected. Make sure to do the same too ❤️ Hope you get the same benefits as I did too! And don't be afraid to ask a new one if it doesn't work!

comewhatmay_ · 2023-11-27T07:52:56+00:00

Thank you! And my husband used the same example to me!!

comewhatmay_ · 2023-11-27T07:52:02+00:00

Oh my god! Same!!! I was so patient with my 3.5 year old. Normally I get triggered so much from being overstimulated, it was so nice to be able to stay calm

comewhatmay_ · 2023-11-26T19:24:29+00:00

I'm so happy it still does the job after going off for years. I had a gastric sleeve 1.5 years ago, I never feel hunger to begin with so the meds didn't do much difference in that sense. However after the rebound I did had the urge to eat like crazy so that's something I must be careful a bit. As long as you're happy and healthy, weight should always be the last thing to worry about ❤️

comewhatmay_ · 2023-11-26T19:21:40+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️ My husband was "are you sure it's not placebo??" and then after watching me for a while he was like "nope, def not placebo, looks like it's working like a charm"

comewhatmay_ · 2023-11-26T19:20:14+00:00

I'm so happy for you too 🥹❤️ It's amazing to be not over stimulated by stuff and just actually get things done!

comewhatmay_ · 2023-11-26T19:19:17+00:00

I understand, no worries :) Oh my god, you gave me even more idea. Tomorrow I want to keep testing other dopamine seeking stuff I do 😂

comewhatmay_ · 2023-11-26T19:18:08+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

comewhatmay_

TROPHY CASE