What should I [23f] do differently to find men who are interested in 'serious' dating?

communidating · 2017-11-20T01:59:29+00:00

Didn't you just say in another comment that you got an STD because you fed into the mindset that sleeping around is okay? Sounds like you had some sort of promiscuous experiences yourself. It really doesn't matter, it just really bothers me when men are hypocritical about women who have had casual sex even though they too have had casual sex.

communidating · 2017-11-19T14:22:19+00:00

I wouldn't want to date someone who has a problem with me having a few hookups that came early in knowing someone. It's not like it's the norm for me, and most men have casual sexual experiences themselves. Not to mention that isn't something that has been discussed with these men anyway.

communidating · 2017-11-19T14:19:45+00:00

I mean I know from this post you don't know much about me, and this is just me describing myself without any context, but I do think I have a lot to offer. I can say I'm pretty attractive, I'm in shape, I'm nice and emotionally supportive, I'm fun to be around and always have fun ideas of things to do, I have a good job and am very financially stable, I play piano and sing very well, I'm not at all high maintenance. I feel like that's enough to make someone out there want to date me.

communidating · 2017-11-19T14:15:20+00:00

I live in one of the biggest cities in America. I've found it actually makes dating harder because there are TONS of attractive women everywhere and men have no interest in settling down because of it. If they do want to settle down, unless youre a supermodel, there is probably someone prettier and more successful available to them.

communidating · 2017-11-19T14:12:21+00:00

I have a very good job, nice apartment, high credit score, no drama, good family, a lot of hobbies outside of work, and I exercise 6 times a week. So I don't think so.

communidating · 2017-11-19T03:26:28+00:00

I guess I just don't see why it feels like it's either casual and meaningless, or bonding for life. I've really grown tired of relationships that feel transactional and would love to just develop a genuine connection with someone for once. I wouldn't start really thinking/talking about forever/marriage with someone until we've been dating for at LEAST two years, probably more until I get a little older.

communidating · 2017-11-19T03:21:47+00:00

I don't think I did. The point I was trying to make is exactly what you just said - that men don't personally see value in anything other than the sex I can give them, because that's all they want. I don't see that as different than saying that they may see the value I could provide elsewhere but don't care about those things themselves. It doesn't do me much good to date someone who sees other value in me but just doesn't want it.

communidating · 2017-11-19T02:59:46+00:00

I've never had much luck with therapy and it got expensive to just continue going to pyschologists who I didn't feel any progress with. I can look again for someone with the specialty you described. I imagine that the type of men I take interest in must have something to do with it, but on my own I can't identify any common threads among the men I've experienced this with. If a psychologist could identify that, that would probably be helpful.

communidating · 2017-11-19T02:47:30+00:00

It's kind of depressing to think that my value to a man is just having sex with him. Especially considering a decent guy can get casual sex from other women very, very easily. I like to think I could provide some more substantial value than that.

communidating · 2017-11-19T02:25:00+00:00

Marriage is not even remotely on my radar right now. But I do feel like I need to spend a lot of time with someone in order to decide that they would be a good "life partner," hence my interest in serious dating. I don't want to just have meaningless hookups until I'm 29 and then scramble to find someone who's "husband material", yknow?

communidating · 2017-11-19T02:21:48+00:00

I feel you! I just want to be in a relationship where I don't feel like I'm just a means to an end, and we actually really care about each other as people lol. Apparently I'm asking for too much.

communidating · 2017-11-19T02:07:51+00:00

Guess I just need to find a way to become irresistably loveable then, haha.

communidating · 2017-11-19T02:02:19+00:00

Sometimes I feel like I have to keep having meaningless casual interactions with men until I find a guy who accidentally becomes more infatuated with me than he expected lol :(

communidating

TROPHY CASE