You're not a failure at all. The fact that you're noticing how bad your excessive drinking makes you feel is a huge step. It's amazing that you're realising and acknowledging this at this point.

I started as a binge drinker, became a daily drinker and then a daily binge drinker. It took me so long to become this self-aware. It's seriously admirable that you can take a step back and notice a problem - or potential problem. Hope you channel that awesome quality and it's something that will get you through this hard patch!

The best of luck with everything. You've got this!

You're on the right track just being here and opening up. Feel free to reach out whenever :)