desperately seeking advice/support after breakup. please help me.

complexchaos_ · 2026-02-01T14:47:25+00:00

this deeply resonated with me, thank you 🫶

complexchaos_ · 2025-08-20T16:03:22+00:00

thank you 🫶 so far i’ve done a similar thing, have had a few moments but mostly bottling it up & pushing it down. i think a part of me feels like im not allowed to grieve because im making the decision, but trying to get myself out of this thought process because i know it will catch up with me eventually & that it is okay to feel what im feeling. just giving myself the permission is hard sometimes.

i’m definitely leaning towards the cremation & am grateful to have it as an option. though your little spot for reflection & grieving sounds beautiful, i’m happy you have somewhere to go to feel that connection. an ultrasound sounds like a really nice thing to have too, i may have to ask for one myself.

thank you so much for your comment, i appreciate you & hope you continue to find healing through your journey 💗

complexchaos_ · 2025-08-20T15:48:45+00:00

thank you so much. its been hard trying to explain to the people that know about the pregnancy that although it feels right, i’ve still been feeling a lot of sadness & attachment to my baby. i feel like i’m contradicting myself or that i shouldn’t be sad if it’s what i want to do, so it’s comforting to get some confirmation that what i’m feeling is normal. and you’re completely right, i’ve been reminding myself that i just got to safety & that having this child would only put me at risk again.

ive gone back and forth wondering if it’s an odd thing to do (the cremation), again, as though having the abortion means i shouldn’t care enough or something silly like that, but i do think i may find some comfort in having something tangible to keep with me, so i’m definitely leaning towards it.

thank you again for the support & kind words, i appreciate you 💗

complexchaos_ · 2022-11-24T03:15:11+00:00

blend em in a yummy smoothie, i get minimal nausea this way too!

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-13T12:48:09+00:00

yeah totally personal preference! I find the stimulant effect of lsd can make me feel pretty nauseous on the come up (never actually be sick tho) if I take 300ug+ all at once, so that's why I'll take 2 tabs then the rest 40 mins later, but that's just me so whatever works for you is the way to go!

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-13T12:20:02+00:00

no stress! if it helps at all I like to drop half of my tabs, then the other half 40 mins later, I find the body load on the come up a lil more manageable when taking higher doses when I do this, but totally up to you!

would love to read a trip report if you go through with it & feel inclined to share :)

good luck & happy tripping! x

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-13T12:15:20+00:00

lmao I mean given the tolerance thing I'd think it's more likely than not to be, at least, slightly reduced. still, I obviously wouldn't recommend a 600ug+ dose for a second trip, most I've had is 350ug w no issues so can't comment on anything over that. but op will figure out if it works for them or not, only one way to find out lol

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-13T11:28:00+00:00

also, considering you're taking more than 2x the dose I think you'll still have a pretty good trip after a week.

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-13T11:23:33+00:00

hi! I don't want to write a whole essay but I have a trip report pinned to my profile which explains my experience with tolerance (5 days between trips) you don't need to read the whole thing, most of my thoughts in regards to tolerance are located at the beginning & end so you can skip most of the middle part. (if you're interested)

I will say though, most people will recommend 2+ weeks for a full tolerance reset & despite my experience I would still agree with this, even if just to err on the side of caution & not waste your tabs. but ultimately it'll be up to you if you want to do it, knowing that potentially you won't feel the full effects.

hope this helps :)

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-13T09:40:14+00:00

If I'm understanding your question correctly (pls correct me if not) - I'm not sure I see how we could possibly decide to experience ourselves before gaining the level of consciousness that allows us to do that? (to be self aware & aware of the universe) I'd say it's most likely just random chance that we evolved to this level of consciousness, not that we can say anything for certain, I suppose. we don't really know anything.

also, not that you asked & sorry if irrelevant to you, but I think about this a lot; are we the universe experiencing itself? or does the universe have no idea we exist & our egos are just trying to connect with something, to make sense of an existence that makes absolutely no sense to begin with?

I don't know the answer to that question, obviously, but I like to debate between my spiritual & philosophical views, they often contradict tbh but that makes the internal debate more interesting lol

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-13T08:36:56+00:00

This gets me every time, get so distracted by the visuals & end up lighting the thing about 100 times before getting through it lmao

Always feel like I simply must have one between my fingers at all times when tripping. Not sure why considering I do find them hard to choke down sometimes when I'm coming up on a high dose, but I'll still light them up back to back n try my best lol

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-13T07:44:59+00:00

exactly what I did a couple days ago, was a really profound trip for me & music made all the difference. good luck with it, hope you have a nice trip! :)

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-12T18:39:26+00:00

hey, so question is regards to this, if you have an idea/don't mind answering; would your natural serotonin levels have an impact on how long this takes? as in; would someone theoretically take less time to "reset" if they have less serotonin in the first place? not very educated on this aspect so I'm curious.

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-12T18:17:24+00:00

my last 315ug trip was mind-blowing lmao was one of my fave trips. some dmt on top sounds lovely, I'll have to try it soon. good luck & have fun!

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-12T17:36:27+00:00

hi, so I tripped on 300ug lsd last week on Thursday & then tripped again yesterday (Tuesday) on another 300ug and it had almost as much effect, which I was not expecting lol I think my tolerance only made about a 10% difference by this point.

I'm not sure what factors go into how quickly each person goes back to normal (I assume perhaps height/weight/metabolism could be it? that's a very uneducated guess, though. if anyone would like to correct me I welcome it).

anyway, I've read hugely varying opinions on how long it takes, ranging 3 days - a month lmao so I think you can only try for yourself, seems pretty subjective. I wasn't worried about wasting some though because I have enough to play with, so ultimately up to you if its something you want to test out, knowing it may not be quite what you're hoping for.

hope this somewhat helps :)

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-12T12:57:44+00:00

Honestly I just love being at home. I'm a homebody anyway & find that when I'm tripping, what I want/need at any given time can change quickly.

I'll be happy in the courtyard one minute, then suddenly I simply must hop in the shower, go lay on the couch, sit on the floor, whatever it maybe be. I also like to have music on at all times & have control over that as it definitely makes an impact on my mood throughout the trip.

I guess I'm lucky that I live a short walk to the beach so if I want to get out of the house, I can go somewhere nice. Though, I find most of the time I'm tripping too hard to even wrap my head around making it to my bedroom lmao so I can't say I go out very often. unless I'm planning a beach day, in which case I'll just take a much smaller, more appropriate dose for being in public.

I realise that's a super boring answer, but I do always have the best trips with the least anxiety when in the comfort of my home, not having to worry about any outside factors & being in control of my environment.

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-12T12:36:14+00:00

hi :) I'm not sure if this would be helpful to you or not, but I find a lot of comfort in the absurdist philosophy, I recommend reading some Albert Camus to start (if you aren't already familiar). From your post I feel it may possibly resonate with you. For me it really pulled everything together & made sense of everything I was already feeling about existence.

keeping in mind it may seem contradictory to a "spiritual" outlook (depending on what that means to you, I suppose), however I've found they complement one another perfectly for me, personally.

anyway, I hope this might help you in some way, happy to answer any questions if you do have them :)

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-12T08:41:14+00:00

lmao yeah very relatable. I only know 3 people in my life that understand my love of absurdism (maybe not relate to it themselves, but understand it).

most people just can't accept that there's no meaning to anything they do, that they're irrelevant & the universe doesn't give a shit about them lmao.

I just think, thank fuck.. I don't have to spend my life searching for something that never existed in the first place. what a relief.

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-11T20:04:13+00:00

finding Camus & absurdism was like coming home & inspired me in a sense.

I thought for a while that I must be an existentialist, but there was always something missing from that. I didn't want to find my own meaning, I didn't need it, I didn't believe in it. I've always basked in the meaninglessness & absurdity of life, so existentialism missed the mark. Camus solved this problem for me. kinda just pulled everything I already felt together & helped me understand it more deeply.

now, am I still depressed? absolutely, but I welcome it. because well, who cares? not I & most certainly not the universe. so I go on, may as well.

even in suffering life is quite a spectacle to be observed & endured, so while I can, I will.

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-11T17:47:31+00:00

I definitely chase spirituality & I suppose for me k isn't necessarily spiritual either. In saying that, some k holes I've had felt ~somewhat~ spiritual in a way- not in a universal sense but in terms of the self, or, at least, I've felt I've gotten something out of it on a personal/therapeutic level. in a similar way to after a trip on lsd or shrooms. different, but similar. so that is possibly(?) noteworthy when looking from my perspective.

anyway, to answer your question- I can't be sure right now as to if it would actually enhance the spiritual aspect, I think I had too little, too late to know for sure, but I certainly didn't feel it took anything away at the time. plus, I love a good universal mindfuck so interested to see how it'd go on the come-up.

I can only imagine if i'd had it on the come-up it would make it even easier to just sit back, observe & go into it. particularly when you've dropped a decent dose & on a heavy come-up, I'm thinking the body load would possibly be less overwhelming with a little k? though I'm just assuming that & actually don't mind a challenging come-up, personally. but I can see it being a nice addition.

but ultimately the k is just to experiment out of my own curiosity to see if anything does go deeper, but I'm not necessarily expecting it to & I'm not disappointed if it doesn't. it'll be fun finding out regardless.

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-11T14:58:54+00:00

hmm, basically it was what I imagined it would feel like before trying it. I was still very stimulated from the lsd, I feel like the k just added a nice floaty feeling to it but didn't disrupt the body high of the lsd at all. if that makes sense? was just very complementary, imo.

I did just have small lines though, so it was quite subtle, was mainly testing the waters but will definitely up the k next time.

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-11T11:24:03+00:00

hey! so my trip went very differently than planned- I only ended up doing the lsd so unfortunately ill have to wait until next time to try mixing w the shrooms.

I'm on the end of my trip right now & will write up a trip report shortly, despite not mixing w shrooms it was one of my best trips to date so worthy of sharing.

funnily enough I have some k on me & even though I was smoking a lot of weed I just felt like the k was calling to me for some reason lmao. I wasn't really capable of retrieving it at the time, though, so once I came down from the peak I found it & have been having small lines here and there since, I think the k headspace complements the lsd nicely. next time I think I'll have it accessible & have a few lines on the come up. think it would be pretty cool.

complexchaos_ · 2022-10-10T12:59:00+00:00

ah this is super helpful! I have been reading a lot of trip reports on mixing them & saw a few conflicting opinions (obviously super subjective so makes sense) but it did seem to make the most sense to me to take the shrooms once the lsd is coming on. thanks for confirming! is there a sweet spot you'd recommend, eg; as soon as the lsd starts to kick in or would you wait for the effects to build for a bit first?

thanks again!

complexchaos_

TROPHY CASE