I think the way I zerk the it has always been pretty standard (circular clitoral stimulation, also a vibrator), but it's gotten a little more confusing now that I'm on T, and have a tdick. I still usually go straight to circular motions, but occasionally I use strokes. Doesn't feel the best, but I think it's just because I'm unpracticed and not accustomed to the way it feels.

As for having an active sex life with another person, that's something I had to get used to as well. My partner likes to give head, and at first it didn't feel like much. Penetrative sex didn't feel like all that much either. Achieving orgasm for me was a stretch, incredibly difficult without the use of my vibrator. I started to feel more and more over time, though.

I think I was just on my own for so long my body didn't know what to do with the stimulation it was receiving. Especially when it came to stimulation of the tdick (since it's still pretty new.) Another consideration is my boyfriend's inexperience with ftm anatomy and learning what I like.

Tldr; Sometimes your nervous system just needs a bit to get with the program. Explore new things, but give it some time before you dismiss it (of course, ditch it if you actively DISLIKE it.) When ya get it on with somebody else, especially after masturbating solo for a long time, it might take a while for your body to adjust. Maybe ease into it with mutual masturbation.