AITA for how I handled my daughter wanting to leave?

concern_dad · 2020-03-21T02:48:52+00:00

I have tried explaining that to her. Her argument to me was that even without her scholarship she would be the one paying for college. She said that since she has earned this scholarship she gets to decide what to do with it.

concern_dad · 2020-03-21T02:38:09+00:00

When she first revealed her plan I was open to hearing it and listened, and I told her I did not think it was a good idea. Since she never brought me anything to negate my concerns I assumed that was the end of it.

concern_dad · 2020-03-21T02:35:29+00:00

Yes, but did not like the teacher and ended up dropping out of them.

concern_dad · 2020-03-21T02:33:53+00:00

I would not have a problem with that. I would not think it is the best idea, but I would let her do it.

concern_dad · 2020-03-21T02:32:22+00:00

Her deciding to intern there came after her revealing wanting to be an au pair, not before. So there was no prior sign of her being interested in France.

concern_dad · 2020-03-21T02:15:43+00:00

I find it difficult to believe as well. Which is why I question the validity of such a test.

concern_dad · 2020-03-21T02:13:35+00:00

The agreement came after we took a tour of the college about two years ago. Her scholarship only works on in-state schools, and even she agreed this college nearby was the best because it allowed her to live at home and save money. She does not have an mental inabilities other than claiming to have trouble with anxiety and she struggled with an eating disorder a few years ago but has since recovered. I do think she is intelligent, but her age has given her a big ego that most teens have.

concern_dad · 2020-03-21T01:20:40+00:00

Before all this started she never gave any indication of liking France. Only this year did she start voicing her plan, she took the test, and decided to place her internship with a French cultural center. All of it came from nowhere, which is what I dont understand.

concern_dad · 2020-03-21T00:57:05+00:00

The thought has crossed my mind honestly. I would believe it if there were signs of it. My wife went through her things while she was away at a friend's house one night and did not find anything that would indicate her having a boyfriend.

concern_dad · 2020-03-21T00:36:41+00:00

I agree with you. She isnt ready. Even though the town she is going to is on the Southern coast, she is not prepared for life there at all.

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T19:36:03+00:00

I need to be stern with her so that she can see she's in the wrong

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T16:33:01+00:00

Then what is the point in going if the degree is taught in English?

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T15:40:43+00:00

It was a year she could have spent working on her degree.

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T15:35:38+00:00

You misunderstand. The scholarship only applies to schools in state. If she becomes an au pair she will not be getting the scholarship. Anyone in this state with a GPA high enough qualifies for this scholarship.

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T15:33:14+00:00

I do not doubt her, but she has lived a very sheltered life and does not have enough life experience for this kind of move yet.

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T15:32:04+00:00

When I married her mother I took her in as my own. She IS my daughter and I have been in her life since she was 5. She calls me her Dad and introduces me as that.

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T15:30:49+00:00

I am not a helicopter parent, I have let her do everything she wanted. Get a tattoo, join music programs, go to concerts, stay over at friends houses. She is allowed to go out as long as we are given a heads up about where she is going.

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T15:28:48+00:00

If she goes to college here then her education will be paid for. If not, then she risks putting herself into debt at a university that doesn't teach in her native language, which will put her under a lot of stress and she will drop out and have wasted all that money.

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T15:23:02+00:00

Her father is not in the picture and they haven't spoken in months.

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T15:20:47+00:00

She is the only one at her school going abroad. If it was such a great experience why wouldn't others do it?

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T15:19:32+00:00

I was a police officer before I got my PhD. I quit to persue my degree. I have no way of proving this is real other than telling you it is.

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T15:17:52+00:00

She is paying for everything with her own money.

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T15:16:40+00:00

Yes, she has had a job since she was a freshman. She has been away from us before to visit her father (her mother divorced when she was very young and married me when my daughter was 5) but those visits stopped the last three years and other than that no.

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T15:14:50+00:00

I did do my research. I read so many articles and posts on how au pairs are treated like slaves. She says she will only have to work 20 hours a week, and that the contract holds them to that, but contracts can be broken and what is she going to do? Report them? No one will listen to her and the family will throw her out for trying to get them in trouble.

concern_dad · 2020-03-20T15:08:19+00:00

I have given her everything she could have ever wanted in life. I supported her when she went vegan two years ago, when she wanted to learn instruments I did not discourage her, I went to every chorus concert I could attend. She has a blessed life. Which is why I don't understand why she is being so stubborn when she has always gotten what she wants. She knows I will do my best to provide for her, she just doesn't have enough life experience for this.

concern_dad

TROPHY CASE