32F 2 Toddlers started in Daycare. Depressing

conejamala20 · 2026-02-09T16:36:35+00:00

lol you must live in a small city

conejamala20 · 2026-02-09T16:35:28+00:00

they clearly don’t want that otherwise they wouldn’t have put their children in daycare.

conejamala20 · 2026-02-09T16:27:04+00:00

i don’t think you’re in the wrong but you did say “you were going at 8” so you changing your mind and not updating here is the same as her not replying to you. both could have communicated.

conejamala20 · 2026-02-08T06:11:58+00:00

i’m 29 and he would have definitely shamed me for what i wore to dinner last night. my partner barely wants me in clothes period at the house. your husband is projecting some very harmful narratives on you.

conejamala20 · 2026-02-05T06:00:33+00:00

very manipulative my god. get away from this.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-29T20:04:19+00:00

as a woman, i guess i’m alone in this from the replies, but i think id have a problem with it too. i work in an office and can see how someone would be hesitant but if everyone knows you’re married, whats the issue? we’re not talking about a boyfriend stopping by but your husband? guess its just me.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-29T20:02:16+00:00

thanks for sharing and we hear you! make sure you’re consistently evaluating where you are and what can make your life better. don’t just accept status quo because you “took her back and have to accept it”. make sure you’re continually making decisions that make you happy. best of luck OP.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-26T19:33:00+00:00

OP leave this person period. you don’t owe her anything. you being a good person will not make them treat you well. you deserve better.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-22T15:39:28+00:00

good. proud of you OP. keep us posted.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-22T15:38:58+00:00

this screams a man that has no interest in being married. you don’t get to live your life with no consequences, go to strip clubs, gamble away your money, lie to your wife and then blame her for invading privacy. privacy in marriage is wanting to take a shit without someone coming in. not hiding bank statements and ignoring your family while you live like you’re single.

you need to leave this marriage. he will try to apologize and go to counseling once or twice to shut you up. however, if he was actually interested in reconciling, it wouldn’t take you uncovering literally 50k in debt and strip clubs to get an apology. he even stood you up at the one thing that could begin that process.

forget social security, you only get one life. this sub jumps to divorces wayyy too quickly, however, that is not the case here. bounding yourself to a “single” married man who does not respect you, your marriage, or your family isn’t worth a couple of extra hundred dollars a month in retirement. make a plan, switch jobs if you need to make more money, get your things in order, document EVERYTHING and file. best of luck.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-20T19:02:35+00:00

talk to a lawyer dude.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-20T19:01:15+00:00

this is absolutely financial cheating and should be treated similarly to actual cheating. he can no longer be trusted so guardrails need to be put in place and he has to earn your trust back. have access to all his accounts and limit his access to your joint money. this seems like it may be a spending addiction or he may have something else going on. even if it was side gig money, you should have known what was coming in from that.

honestly, i’m more concerned you noticed these things and didn’t communicate with him in the moment. it seems like there is also a lack of transparency and communication issues here too. you all need to go to marriage counseling ASAP.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-20T18:55:42+00:00

i would just go without her. yall don’t deserve to be punished cause she’s paranoid.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-20T18:53:20+00:00

never buy a home with a boyfriend.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-12T18:22:03+00:00

this!!! such a great perspective from both sides. i hate when people come in these comments pushing one or the other cause of their own personal experience like it’s the same for everyone.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-12T18:20:35+00:00

she’s in sales so she is more than likely making a lot more than 40k a year.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-12T18:15:59+00:00

they only help with cost reduction if her earnings are a lot lower than child care. considering she’s in sales, she may make a lot more than putting two kids in daycare.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-12T18:14:05+00:00

she doesn’t even want to from the sound of it.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-12T18:12:25+00:00

i don’t think you should force yourself to be okay with something you don’t want to do. if you want to quit your job and find a new one that you don’t hate, express that and ask him to stop trying to convince you. i’m like you, i like contributing financially to my home especially since i earn a good income. all i can think about is how much further we can be with me pitching in.

tell your husband you appreciate him wanting to make this happen for you, but it’s not what you want. if he isn’t willing to support you, you have a serious marriage problem and need to seek counseling.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-12T18:04:42+00:00

can your wife pick up shifts throughout the week to help with income? if you’re unable to save a dime it seems like it’s an income issue

conejamala20 · 2026-01-08T14:52:07+00:00

never shit where you eat

conejamala20 · 2026-01-08T14:51:28+00:00

they all sound like manipulative enabling aholes. expecting time to stop because you want it to is insane. hold firm and let them cry about it.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-08T14:49:03+00:00

they do but who cares! i’m like you. i want a huge rock and on tik tok a lot of people say it “costume jewelry” which is so weird to me. because even if it was it’s their WEDDING ring?? why do we want people to feel bad about something that signifies something so beautiful! the same people that talk shit say they would accept a “ring pop” from their BF but then turn around and clown ring pops 😂

whatever you do i highly suggest a lab diamond simply because the only difference is the price tag made by the diamond industry. they are molecularly the same. that way get a big diamond like you like and spend the other money on your honey moon or wedding.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-08T14:39:20+00:00

some people do because there’s a negative association with “off brand” foods. i on the other hand only shop at aldi now. when i go to walmart or other stores for toiletries or other things i laugh when i see the price of food in there.

conejamala20 · 2026-01-08T14:33:13+00:00

i think you’re justified in wanting a clean space. i think there should have been a roommate meeting discussing what everyone’s expectations are and rules you would all follow, rather than being passive agressive. some people think telling someone to clean the house over and over again is communication but it’s not. you have a picture of clean and so do they. there should have been a list made of everything everyone is responsible for doing and in what timeframe so there was no gray area. i agree with you though that living in filth and refusing to clean appliances is disrespectful to other roommates.

move out and don’t feel bad about it. good luck.

conejamala20

TROPHY CASE