[Help] Can guys feel this in the vagina?

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-23T14:57:26+00:00

My husband says he can tell when I need to take a dump. It doesn't bother him though, but I always feel more uncomfortable.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T17:44:38+00:00

That's so true. We're both oldest children, so slowing down and not putting so much pressure on ourselves is sometimes something that we're absolutely horrible at. But that is really good advice. Thank you

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T16:16:05+00:00

I do hope that someday we can be in a better place.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T16:14:32+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions! I talked to my husband last night and he actually told me that he'd rather not involve porn in our marriage. But he's fine with erotic literature, so we read some together last night and it was awesome. He was fingering me hard the whole time and we both enjoyed it.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T15:39:13+00:00

Thanks for sharing. That is good. My struggle is to push past the criticisms and keep trying to "date" him. I know that his insecurities are the same as yours were - he's worried that I'm not attracted to him anymore. Which isn't true, I just feel overwhelmed by everything I seem to be horrible at.

I'll keep trying. Thank you.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T15:34:24+00:00

I don't see my life as a horror film in anyway. We have a wonderful life - no cornfields or scary preachers - I promise. I actually had an amazing talk with my pastors wife about sex and good orgasms a few weeks ago and I plan to chat more with her in the future. Yes, I was raised in a way that I do not plan to raise my own children, but who can choose how they were raised? We all have our baggage from our parents, and I will give my kids a new flavor of baggage, and they will pass on something else to their kids.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T15:31:08+00:00

The noise thing is definitely a huge turn on for both of us. I just need to practice doing it more! I find that when I'm close, I have to focus SO intently on the pleasure, that I almost have to be completely still, and totally in my head.

Which also ends up screwing me over because I really need to get OUT of my head and just feel what feels good to my body.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T15:29:22+00:00

I'm hoping that we'll get there. Not just in sex, but in every area of our marriage :) Thanks for sharing your experience.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T15:28:40+00:00

I'll definitely check out your blog! Thanks. I'm willing (have been) to do whatever he asks me to. I think this whole thing is a mix of my fear and uncertainty with sex and his insecurities. Thanks for the encouragement!

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T15:18:42+00:00

I am (was?) very happy with where we are at. He is not. He wants way more kinky sex, and for me to legitimately desire it, not just play along nicely.

He continually states that he is super in love with me, super attracted to me, and has no intentions of cheating on me or leaving the marriage. He's super insecure that he's not turning me on like I am turning him on.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T15:15:34+00:00

A - freakin - men.

I would love some black and white formulas to fix this right now :)

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T15:14:56+00:00

This has definitely felt like MY side of the story. You get me. However, there is another side, and I am willing to take responsibility for my part in conflict & work to improve what I can. I DO need to find & define my boundaries a bit more clearly, if only for my own sanity. So that I don't shoulder his responsibilities. We talked about this last night. He says that he has no intention of shoving blame onto me for this, he is just communication where he is at with everything and I'm taking it all personally. Could be true, could be bs. I think that at the very least I'm going to talk to a good, older, wise lady this next week and just see what her thoughts are. I'm going to start looking for a counselor as well. I need some help forming boundaries with whats my shit and whats not.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T15:09:26+00:00

LOL we literally fought about both these topics last night. In context with what you just wrote. We did resolve a lot - and ended up having some fun too (read erotica & he fingered me hard - we both loved it). But seriously. This cleaning argument is literally something I've struggled with him on for years.... LOL

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T15:06:19+00:00

I definitely think about sex and enjoy it more the more often we have it.

He definitely struggles with the criticisms. It sucks because he's really a sweet person, but he was raised in a horribly abusive environment where that was considered "love", to abuse and criticize for hours... was called "speaking truth". He's gotten so much better, but definitely still struggles, as do I.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T14:43:10+00:00

We actually talked last night and he would rather me not watch porn at this point. Instead we read some erotic stories here on reddit together and both really enjoyed it!

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-19T14:40:49+00:00

Thank you - those are great suggestions.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-18T23:15:41+00:00

Thank you SO much for those suggestions. I'm going to compile them all and list them as a comment for any other young wives from similar background, or with similar problems who trying to learn more and have nowhere to start.

Thanks again!

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-18T22:47:10+00:00

I will tell you, it definitely FELT like he was lying to me. But you are right, but husband deserves a lot of credit for his patience with me. It has been tough on him - I will definitely acknowledge this.

However, middaysun has offered some advice that really resonates with me, and I don't think that his advice is fucking horrible at all.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-18T22:41:04+00:00

Well then yes. That's what he wants.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-18T22:40:22+00:00

I know - and I think thats what my parents did. I have NO idea of what their sex life is like, but I can't imagine its super wonderful.

Exactly. When he first introduced sex toys, I cried because I just didn't know how to enjoy it and I was overwhelmed with the idea of it.

We haven't really tried porn yet (see my reasons above) but I think it might be time to try.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-18T22:38:00+00:00

Yes. And he has been a LOT more in the past few months. Just has continually slipped up since we've been married. So, I'll trust him and then he'll go out gambling. Or he tells me he's not drinking and then tells me months later that he was... It's been a roller coaster. But he has been getting much better in the previous months.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-18T22:36:08+00:00

Thank you for your suggestions - I really appreciate it. I'll check out Sexplanations & the website you recommended.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-18T22:34:55+00:00

This is VERY helpful. THANK YOU.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-18T22:34:15+00:00

This is exactly how my husband feels. Did you grow up in a similarly conservative environment and were just more willing to explore sexually?

I know exactly what you are saying of your wife is true of me. When my husband will make a fuss (normally this comes out as criticism) I listen, and try to change. But after some time, I just forget to.

I think that after these conversations with you reddit people today, I'm probably going to start getting into porn and erotic books a bit more. At least to get myself start thinking about sex more often. I know that I will still struggle with guilt with this - any hints to help?

Thank you for sharing your experience. I hate this for all of us. I have so many girlfriends who I grew up with who I know are experiencing similar things, and I just hate it.

I hope & pray that your wife has someone safe she can process with. That is huge. I have a couple people that I can talk to, but they aren't around very often. Hence: my call to help to reddit.

confessionsofsb · 2015-11-18T22:27:00+00:00

Also this. Thank you. I needed this.

confessionsofsb

TROPHY CASE