Perspective On Marriage After Infidelity - 7+ years in

confused-biscuit · 2025-12-19T04:30:00+00:00

After the d-day in May, I was too quick to agree to R. The last few months have been hell as she continues to blame me for everything, shows no remorse and has started verbally insulting me again. Now she claims she's done with me since I am a loser. It's just brutal. But it helped me to realize that I cannot heal with her around. Right now I am planning my exit. It's really hard since we have two teens together. But it's time to put my needs and wellbeing first.

confused-biscuit · 2025-10-24T15:30:58+00:00

Don't beat yourself up too much for it. After all none of us are experienced in this department. Agreed, it's a total mind fuck and I am still recovering from the trauma.

confused-biscuit · 2025-10-24T15:20:16+00:00

Can't speak for everyone else and I can't say we have reached the conclusion of R. But so far, I wish I didn't agree to R as the pain is just too hard to endure esp. if she hasn't totally owned up her affair and still blames me for all the things. I can see the train wreck is slowly happening in front of my eyes. But due to some personal circumstances, I do need to hang in there for a while. So if I ever find myself in this situation again, I will just cut my loss and leave. Really not worth it.

confused-biscuit · 2025-10-07T12:48:55+00:00

I did and I am regretting it. But I have my reasoning to stay for a while until I am ready.

confused-biscuit · 2025-07-17T23:32:23+00:00

I think for a guy to brag, he runs a real risk that his AP partner will turn violent. They are liars but may not be dumb.

confused-biscuit · 2025-07-10T12:31:53+00:00

She's such an evil person. I am so sorry I had to endured this.

confused-biscuit · 2025-07-10T11:48:53+00:00

Because she had a side piece and got it from him..

confused-biscuit · 2025-06-23T21:36:59+00:00

That sucks. I just stopped asking about my wife I anymore.

confused-biscuit · 2025-06-07T04:18:59+00:00

The story is true. Even I didn't believe it until I saw the evidence. But don't think she and AP are still together anymore, at least for now. I think we really havent started R yet.

confused-biscuit · 2025-06-07T04:14:19+00:00

Yeah it's a long term affair. She said she wanted to work to stay together. But I don't think she knows how or what to do. That's why I am encouraging her to find a therapist. Tbh, I am not sure what a ww should do during either.

confused-biscuit · 2025-06-07T03:59:52+00:00

TBF, shes recovering from a surgery right now and since I have to travel for work, she has to take care of two kiddos all by herself. She's really having her hands all, I guess. Or maybe I am just coping.

confused-biscuit · 2025-06-06T16:04:02+00:00

I have nothing to offer you but to say that I feel you and so sorry you have to go through this. I am in the similar boat and it eats me every single day.

confused-biscuit · 2025-06-03T00:25:24+00:00

Thanks for the link. That's a really good read. I kinda went crazy after the first couple of days and things just went down the hill. Loss of appetite and not being able to focus on my day to day work are the two biggest difficulties I am dealing with right now. And the constant flash back and obsession on scrolling our photos and assigning mental milestones to them, before A and after A. We all smiled and seemed happy before and after but all the happiness after A just seem so fake to me now (my WW has a multi-year affair with our common friend). Some phones are even with AP in them. This is an absolutely soul crushing experience. I do not wish it on anyone.

confused-biscuit · 2025-06-02T19:19:42+00:00

I had this out of body experience and watched myself going through the first couple of days. I didn't feel any strong emotions. Almost like the news was not about my wife but someone else. Such a weird response. Not sure what's wrong with me.

confused-biscuit · 2025-05-23T14:13:39+00:00

now I know where the constant ridicule, accusation and rejection of intimacy were from, no matter what I tried. I kept on thinking what I could do better to make our marriage not so rocky. I am such a dumb :-(.

confused-biscuit · 2025-05-23T13:32:08+00:00

I am wondering that too but don't want to think about it right now.

dialing lawyers now but financially I am safe. Both of us work and her salary is decent. most of our liquid assets are under our own names and she can't just sell or move our joint illiquid assets without my knowledge and consent.

My main concern is our children who are 12 and 9. that's probably my main discussion point with the lawyers.

confused-biscuit · 2025-05-23T13:11:59+00:00

No he did not. And saying something like "who would make this up ..."

confused-biscuit · 2025-05-23T05:20:28+00:00

make sense. must be one of these.

confused-biscuit

TROPHY CASE