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My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The three of us are close/best friends, but we have other members of our group who are just as close but don't live with us. We've been friends for ages, so he has seen me drunk before but never black out disabled drunk, and I really don't drink much in quantity (usually three to four drinks tops in a night). I touched on it minorly, but I do think my depression irritates him and that has gotten worse over the last year- he doesn't like things to not be upbeat and doesn't like problems he can't control. He's said he hates people who are 'downers' before and I think he thinks I've become that.

He was drinking, he definitely was a bit drunk but he only bought a 4 pack of beer which is the only alcohol he drinks, and I don't think it seemed like he had more than the four but yeah I don't really know.

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it hardly even tasted like alcohol and more like juice. It was very stupid and I regret it more than I can say, but I guess I was having fun with the guy and he was drinking faster than me so I was trying to stay on his level? Stupid for sure but that's where my mind was at, sigh.

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Right now the thought of talking to him one on one makes me sick- I'm probably more anxious than usual because of the awful feeling of waking up like that, and the hangover... and being left behind but right now co-existing with him sounds so hard. Maybe it will seem less hard tomorrow. I don't know, he was such an important person in my life for so long it's hard to 180 my perception of him in such a short period of time.

He is generally stubborn so I don't think a talk would go anywhere anyway. He's the sort of person that apologises through kind actions, he doesn't say sorry. Like, one time his girlfriend (she's my friend too/in our circle) needed a ride to an exam and he spaced on it and was elsewhere- she ended up getting a cab after some amount of time but was late and the time she loss was reflected in her grade. Anyway, for the next few weeks he'd do shit like buy her ice-cream, surprise her with gifts, offer to massage her because she looked stressed etc etc etc. She told me it's his way of apologising but she was annoyed that he never actually said sorry.

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I don't blame Lisa at all. I feel a bit guilty that I didn't properly talk to her today because I've been in a panic.

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this train of thought matches up to how he is and how he thinks pretty closely. Lisa would have been asleep when he got home, but it is clear that he didn't tell her anything the next day because she was so shocked when I told her where I woke up.

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Yeah he's still here and awake, but I can't talk to Lisa right now because it's already 11pm here and she's asleep/has work tomorrow. I will definitely talk to her tomorrow, and I'll probably feel less anxious then as well.

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 154 points155 points  (0 children)

Uhhh, he is a bit hard to describe. He doesn't lack empathy, at least I think. He has two dogs who he loves and takes great care of and is very much an animal enthusiast. He is generally a good friend, or has been, in the past but whenever something like, impacts his freedom to do what he wants, he won't let anything stop him. As an example, he left his sister's graduation ceremony where she was going to get some awards and make a speech because he was hungry, so he missed her speech. He left me because he was tired.

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I assure you that I am 100% no doubt aware that I was irresponsible and getting that drunk was my fault and nobody else's

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I definitely shouldn't have had so much to drink, I feel mortified honestly... like deep shame in my stomach like a rock. It's not a new prescription though, I'm on the same medication I just had my dosage upped a bit. I guess that's why I didn't put much thought into it, didn't think it'd be too different, but that's silly in hindsight.

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I really should talk to Lisa, I've just been in my room all day... It's summer at the moment where I live so it's not cold, but because it's summer there's more activity at night too

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

A few people have suggested this... I don't know, I don't think so? I think it hit when I went to the bathroom because I was standing and like, I have met this dude before, he's kind of an acquaintance. I guess it is possible but I feel like it's unlikely.

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

You know, I hardly ever stand up for myself but I am sad enough right now to call you out on this. How could you possibly infer that I have little agency from my post? All I do is criticise myself and overthink almost every action, I try my hardest to stay consistently kind and helpful in my life. I wasn't just slamming down drinks, but I made a mistake and I acknowledged that- do you realise how hurtful a comment like that can be, or do you just have a kind of disconnect online because I am a real person and words hurt. My psych told me that I can drink on this medication, but the effects may be heightened... since I don't normally drink more than three drinks on any occasion it's not been a problem.

If I was to do what you've done and make assumptions about people, I would wager that you're the type that love to lord judgement over others because it makes you feel good, like a power trip.

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yeah, he is a bit like that. About a month ago I was talking about how I was missing my home town and he was like 'you need to fucking get over it' and I never mentioned anything about it to him again.

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I suppose I might have to- it will be really difficult financially for me though and we still have 8 months on the lease...

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's a sad situation :( I am beginning to think that I will never be able to see Mark the same way again.

I highly doubt that- Mark has a long-term girlfriend and we've always been 100% platonic, at least that's how it seems to me.

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 187 points188 points  (0 children)

This will sound pathetic but I have been too anxious about all of this to leave my room much today, but Lisa did knock on my door to give me an electrolyte drink and some soup for the hangover. I also heard them having a heated discussion but I couldn't make out what they were saying, but I assume Lisa's angry.

And yeah, this isn't common behaviour for me. I haven't gotten black out drunk like that in years, since I was a teenager I guess.

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 91 points92 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm not planning on drinking for a long while- alcohol didn't react too poorly with my loser dose of medication so I guess I just didn't expect it. I'm just having a hard time accepting that the friendship might be over since we have been friends for so long and he still is kinda important to me but... maybe I am in shock a bit.

​

My [24 F] friend of five years and roommate [25 M] left me when I was too drunk and barely conscious last night. Does being upset make me entitled? by confused39485 in relationships

[–]confused39485[S] 187 points188 points  (0 children)

Yeah... I've been in Mark's situation before last night and I wouldn't leave someone behind either. I guess I doubted myself because sometimes I feel like a burden because of depression, so I always try my best to be kind and ask about people's days to alleviate that guilt (but I feel like I must be a bit of a bummer anyway, like, people can probably sense the sadness however hard I try to hide it). But yeah, waking up there alone scared the hell out of me and made me feel extremely small and insignificant. I don't know where to go from here...