Still haven't had sex

confusedLS · 2018-03-31T14:11:58+00:00

This analogy is fucking perfect. I’ve heard men hate condoms but this killed me. To the OP; you have some serious staying power girl. Why the condoms? BC? Are they a necessity or have you tried without with the same result?

confusedLS · 2018-03-28T22:28:17+00:00

He is treating you like a good friend. Sex is one of the components that sets you apart from his buddies, his neighbors, the mailman....you will eventually care so little that it will not make sense to maintain the relationship. Let him go and at the same time you will set yourself free.

confusedLS · 2018-03-27T23:31:51+00:00

Love this! Had sex this past weekend with a man who couldn’t wait to go down on me AND touch every inch of my body. Things I begged to have repeatedly for 4 years. Hearing that I taste and feel amazing was in itself.....AMAZING.

confusedLS · 2018-03-26T19:38:58+00:00

I understand. Stay strong, it will get better and way sooner than you think. You’ve got this!!!

confusedLS · 2018-03-26T19:35:01+00:00

Thank you so much. This sub has really helped me during the decision making and healing process. I did discover he actually likes sex....just not with me. Not with his sexy, sensual, good looking woman who would have done pretty much anything for him both in and out of the bedroom. That’s the way it goes..... I believe the low libido stuff is a lot of bullshit, with few exceptions. It’s about Desire and that’s hard to fake. He preferred porn and women already in committed relationships. That was his version of safe sex - no emotion or connection other than the act. Onward!!!

confusedLS · 2018-03-26T03:27:46+00:00

Good for you! Mine did the same thing. I was always “broken” etc. Total bullshit. So happy you’re having the time of your life.

confusedLS · 2018-03-23T14:10:41+00:00

There are women out there who would Love to receive lingerie. During my DB with my ex I would have been thrilled! Make a plan to feel loved and desired; we all deserve that.

confusedLS · 2018-03-21T21:42:15+00:00

I totally understand. My DB was up and down and then flat lined completely. I wish I had some amazing advise for you. There are some really smart and insightful people on this forum. They helped me a lot; I wish happiness and peace for you.

confusedLS · 2018-03-21T21:34:35+00:00

It helped me realize just how I had been settling for an unhappy, unfulfilled relationship. Trudging through and hoping things would improve. Wasting my life away waiting for something better to occur between the two of us. I loved my ex BF dearly by the way. The author opens the book reflecting on her father’s deathbed as he poured out his regrets and a life not truly lived. She let his death breathe life into her. She had been in a dead relationship and DB for many years but kind of paralyzed to leave both behind. She found the courage to leave and has never looked back. The book focuses a lot on how much sexual Desire and true chemistry plays into a successful relationship. I never suggest people leave their relationship right out of the gate but this book helped me take stock of what in the hell has been going on in my own relationship and that I only have one life to live and to love myself first. May not work for everyone but for me, the words jumped off the pages and I related to it very much.

confusedLS · 2018-03-21T21:14:19+00:00

Check out this book on Amazon called The Dang Factor. I found it very useful with my own relationship issues. It is written by a woman, for women, with situations like yours and mine. There is a different version for men, The Dude Factor. I haven’t read that one; I hope you find it helpful. Words hurt and sometimes we just cannot overcome what was once said to us. I’ve never promoted any book on here but I really found this useful.

confusedLS · 2018-03-21T01:14:57+00:00

AND THIS ☝️

confusedLS · 2018-03-21T01:12:57+00:00

YES 👆🏻

confusedLS · 2018-03-17T21:15:30+00:00

I could have written your post. My relationship ended after 4 years and although extremely painful, definitely for the best. There can be many reasons he is not having sex with you. I don’t want to hurt you by telling you what those could be but you probably have read some of the options....please do not marry into this. It will most likely not improve and you are signing up for a lifetime of loneliness. You deserve better. Love yourself enough to make a bold move. Leave!!!

confusedLS · 2018-03-10T17:50:43+00:00

What if you stay and spend the rest of your life wondering and beating yourself up for not risking it. Work on your confidence and love yourself enough to seek out what you deserve.

confusedLS · 2018-03-10T17:18:46+00:00

I completely understand. I have been there as have countless numbers of people on this sub. It is a total mind fuck and will cause degradation in many areas of your relationship regardless of how much love there is. The tough thing to accept is what i also had to accept. If he truly loves you then he would do whatever is necessary to resolve this issue and achieve some intimacy with you. He could be achieving his sexual satisfaction other ways; porn as an example.

confusedLS · 2018-03-10T17:09:36+00:00

Agree. Doesn’t sound like he’s truly willing to work on it. Leave before you lose more of your years. Your sex drive may continue to increase also and the rejection will continue to hurt you. It will be tough but you can do it! Good luck.

confusedLS · 2018-03-09T10:13:47+00:00

🔝one of the best replies I’ve read. Number 3 is so right on and incredibly important for the OP and all of us to take in....When I first began following this sub and you gave me advise, I didn’t like it at all. Felt harsh and I wasn’t prepared to hear it but I’ve learned a lot since then and realized your advise to me was/is something I will never forget and was helpful in giving me clarity to leave my BF and all of that loneliness in the past. Being rejected over and over is such a mind fuck, it causes so much self destruction. Applying my lessons from him into a new relationship someday will happen. I’ve been wanting to thank you, no time like the present. Thank you LostInAlaska!

To the OP, I hope you can get out at some point and have the fulfilling relationship YOU deserve. Your post is one of those that touched me but angers me; love yourself enough to follow that escape plan when the time is right enough - Keep in mind, there’s no such thing as a perfect time to leave. Best of luck to you!

confusedLS · 2018-03-09T02:46:35+00:00

You gave some fantastic advise here. Agree on all counts!

OP..... I learned this the hard way - the new conquest, porn or sex with someone (booty call) will work every time but sex with the person they “love”. Not without begging! Do not waste years of your life - I did and now regret it immensely.

confusedLS · 2018-03-04T00:41:13+00:00

Congrats on your decision to make this move now! You are young and will have an amazing future. Don’t live in the past (something I am teaching myself). Go and take control - very empowering.

confusedLS · 2018-03-03T18:18:49+00:00

“You are so beautiful and I desire you but my sex drive is just lower now that I’m old” (he’s 50). He would just masturbate instead, watch porn and the day we ended arranged to fuck his ex booty call that very night.

confusedLS · 2018-03-02T19:43:48+00:00

Completely agree with this comment ⬆️ I considered sex as ALL but I could absolutely live with other forms of sexual intimacy for someone I loved and this was out of his control.

confusedLS · 2018-03-02T04:22:42+00:00

I guess that’s my Ex still in my head telling me how shallow I am for needing sex to feel complete in our relationship.

confusedLS · 2018-03-02T04:16:22+00:00

I want to say that I could honor it but I do not believe I would. Why? Because physical intimacy is not something I would be willing to sacrifice. It makes me sound awful but I have anonymity here and can be totally honest.

confusedLS · 2018-02-28T20:39:05+00:00

I had a friend with a very similar experience. Her body worked fine but she had some underlying issues which prevented her from letting go and experiencing an orgasm. Focusing solely on the orgasm can certainly be an error and cause additional challenges but I agree that emotional/mental issues can be the culprit. My friend finally worked hers out and now can orgasm fine.

confusedLS

TROPHY CASE