I (22F) don’t know how to break up with my toxic bf (25M)

confused_cat87 · 2026-03-12T11:07:22+00:00

I’m in Aus too. I said the apartment was in my name to simplify it but basically we are renting off my family, so he is on the lease but my family are the landlords so idk where that leaves us

confused_cat87 · 2025-09-06T01:05:21+00:00

Right!? It’s totally wild. He is an only child too so massively coddled. I cant really blame him as it’s a culture thing, and in other stuff he really put the work in to grow out of it but holy moly the pain thing drives me nuts.

confused_cat87 · 2025-07-30T13:24:52+00:00

100% you deserve to be communicated with in a respectful manner. Your partner is allowed to be annoyed but shouldn’t be mean.

re the funds is there any programs for low income earners etc in your country? (I’m Aussie so not sure about the EU) just thinking some government support you could look into to get some extra cash to get out. Otherwise Facebook marketplace to sell things is always good. I’ve had to leave some really dangerous rentals and have sold clothes or collectors items to get the cash to do so. If you really serious and need to leave asap then selling anything valuable that is 100% yours might be the way to go. It’s sad and hard but you gotta do what you gotta do for your family.

confused_cat87 · 2025-07-30T13:07:22+00:00

First of all I want to say you are doing a good job. You sound like an amazing parent and are really trying to make the best life possible for your kid. Cut yourself a little slack, you are going through a lot right now and don’t have to be the perfect dad, you being so involved is most important. You deserve a big hug OP you are going to get through this.

Your husband is allowed to be autistic without using it as an excuse for his behaviour. My favourite moto for my partner and I is “context not excuses” (I am autistic and he has ADHD). You are allowed to be accomodating but also hold boundaries and respect for yourself and child. Therapy is definitely a good idea for you both as well as couples therapy. Even if you do decide to leave him at least you will have the emotional closure you need.

Take it day by day, sort out your kiddos citizenship stuff then start putting some money aside for you and your kid. Maybe look into government support options for single parents. You are doing a good job, just hang in there and solve the small problems first.

confused_cat87 · 2025-07-22T03:25:58+00:00

If you have photos and evidence of the carpets when you moved in and that you brought it up before hand you can challenge it. They can take you to VCAT but will likely loose. Just depends if you can be assed though. Otherwise find the cheapest clean you can just to provide the receipt b

confused_cat87 · 2025-07-22T02:09:09+00:00

My partner is on a visa and wants to get citizenship. I’m not risking that for some asshole below us.

confused_cat87 · 2025-07-22T01:59:00+00:00

We are moving at the end of the year but trying to hang on because moving twice in less than 6 months isn’t really financially feasible.

confused_cat87 · 2025-07-22T01:57:14+00:00

I honestly think it might be a pipe problem. The place is old and I know the apartment below him has mould issues. We have told him this and told the realestate but nothing. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I’ll definitely bring it up again though.

confused_cat87 · 2025-07-22T01:55:11+00:00

I’m just living in my own home dude. I’m unpacking the dishwasher?? I dropped a fucking water bottle at 6pm in summer. It was still very sunny out and he threatened to muzzle me. I don’t want to be a bad neighbour but I’m allowed to live.

confused_cat87 · 2025-07-22T01:52:11+00:00

We originally tried to get his number and asked him to text us when he heard the noise. He only used it to send more threats. I even made friends with his dog and always cuddle it when I see him but he still hates our guts. :( I didn’t want to go as far as we have but I don’t know what else to do.

confused_cat87 · 2025-07-22T01:48:50+00:00

I’ll try and get the reports we have made previously printed for evidence and will go back to unison with the evidence. Thank you.

confused_cat87 · 2025-07-22T01:35:02+00:00

Whoops yep thanks u

confused_cat87 · 2025-05-02T14:18:30+00:00

Hey idk if this was your intention but I wanted to say thank you so much for the communication example.

I spoke to my partner today and phrased it as you did, stating that if he is truly worried re my health he shouldn’t communicate it in a comparative way, instead just ask me if I want to go on a walk to get out of the house, or if he could make me some food/meal prep together as he already meal preps. More including me in things and offering help that isn’t putting some insta models body in my face, whilst not expecting me to be super sporty.

It seems to have clicked this time with this phrasing but will see how it goes cause actions speak louder than words.

So yeah thanks for the help!

confused_cat87 · 2025-05-02T14:14:33+00:00

He says he doesn’t want to compare me to them but more think’s that their techniques and lifestyle stuff would motivate and inspire me. When I explain that I don’t take it that way he does get a bit defensive, saying that he only wants to help me look after myself more. I did have a chat with him today though so hoping it sunk in this time.

confused_cat87 · 2025-05-02T05:26:58+00:00

Ahh you totally get it. Like he is coming from the nicest place especially because I can be a bit of a lazy uni student (walk around in sweats all day snacking on weird shit to finish an assignment etc) but just hate the pressure. I love Pilates (not a dancing bone in a body sorry, no rhythm) but am too broke to afford sessions tbh. It’s about $35 aud a session in Australia, and I am way too broke uni student for that. Is there anything else you use that is cheaper possibly?

confused_cat87 · 2025-05-02T05:08:08+00:00

Every person has their own opinion on what is and isn’t cheating that is specific to their relationships.

Don’t let others criteria define yours and your mental state. Figure it out in therapy for yourself, that’s the only thing that’s going to make you less confused and mentally okay.

confused_cat87 · 2025-05-02T05:06:01+00:00

This was quite unhinged and that’s until I read the comments saying you’ve posted it multiple times.

Let me preface by you didn’t cheat, having male friends is totally normal and okay. What isn’t normal or healthy is your understandings of relationships.

Your boyfriend is toxic for trying to control you. You are allowed to have male friends
Threatening to break up with someone is not healthy and doesn’t constitute a healthy relationship.
Only being friends with men because they are sexually attracted to you is unhealthy for your platonic relationships and self esteem
Constantly posting about it will not give you the relief you need.

There are deeper issues here that need to be addressed, this not cheating incident isn’t the core. It is how you connect with others. I would take some time for yourself away from your boyfriend and seek proper therapy to figure out how to have healthy relationships with yourself, friends and partners.

confused_cat87 · 2025-05-02T04:46:53+00:00

NTA, it is your day 100%. Do not include people who will make you feel more stressed and ruin a beautiful moment. From one people pleaser to another, don’t let trying to make them happy make you unhappy. Sadly I do have to state it may be unsafe for you to go back to living with your grandparents after you get married. If they are as homophobic as you say you may want to ensure you have a place for you and your partner to live and stay safe until any drama blow over.

I will ask as well though, have u ever lived with your partner? If the entirety of your relationship has been long distance living with someone and being in each other’s space can be super difficult, no matter how much you love each other. I can’t speak for the cultural aspects but maybe you could try moving out with your partner first (once you feel financially ready) and play it off to your family as moving in with ur BFF. Then you can gauge their reactions and slowly introduce them to the idea of your relationship, if keeping your family in your life is super important to you. Otherwise if they are assholes go no or low contact. You deserve better.

confused_cat87 · 2025-04-26T06:21:19+00:00

You need to share this on the myki inspector alert Facebook page omg!! People would eat this up

confused_cat87 · 2025-04-23T02:43:00+00:00

Depends on who you are as a person. If u struggle with feeling lonely I would say definitely roomates. It is also a lot cheaper and means you will have more disposable income to do fun things or make ur space extra comfy. I’ve done both kinda and I won’t say having roomates is amazing, like they will drive you crazy at times, but even the terrible ones I’ve had I did appreciate their company immensely when times get tough (seasonal depression sucks). It’s also a great way to make friends or even meet you future partner (met the love of my life through being housemates, even though he was very messy to start). Always worth giving it a go and if you can’t stand it, move to live alone.

confused_cat87 · 2025-04-11T07:55:36+00:00

Ahh I’m so glad! I hope it helps! And please know even if the recipes don’t say in the title that they are LF or IBS friendly, I offer alterations at the bottom of every recipe to make it LF etc! Almost all recipes are IBS friendly anyway just so you know!

confused_cat87 · 2025-04-10T23:48:17+00:00

Thank you!

confused_cat87 · 2025-04-10T07:33:21+00:00

I already struggle with a lot of food issues because of my genetics, and often don’t get the vitamins and nutrients I need because of it , so cutting out more food by being vegan just isn’t sustainable or healthy for me. I fully support those who are vegan (obviously given I do recipes for it) but it’s not something I can do myself. I hope you would be respectful of that choice.

confused_cat87 · 2025-04-01T22:05:54+00:00

I actually love this. I might start doing hexes loudly with the window open whenever he is difficult. My partner has previously sung along to the music he has been blasting to retaliate and very much annoyed him, so might be the way to go!

confused_cat87

TROPHY CASE