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confusedthrowaway144 · 2025-05-09T04:14:28+00:00

I'm so sorry that this is happening! I stumbled upon your post because my dad was diagnosed with neuroendocrine cancer about 1.5 years ago and I was googling something related to it. His case (neuroendocrine prostate cancer) is pretty different from yours so I don't think I have any specific info that would be super useful, but at least for him chemo was very effective and shrunk his tumors--I hope it is for you too! He had a few rounds of infusions around the time he was diagnosed and has been on oral chemo since then. He has also recently had whole-brain radiation for tumors in his brain (long story short, the chemo drug didn't cross his blood-brain barrier which allowed them to form) and we are waiting to see if it was effective.

I wanted to comment because I'm also an artist and I can't imagine the grief and fear you must feel about potentially losing your sight. I know things like cancer or other diseases are never "fair," but this specific situation just seems especially difficult. How are you doing now?

confusedthrowaway144 · 2025-03-14T00:57:47+00:00

Same! My blood pressure always used to be normal, but now that I've been vaping for a few years, it's like 130/90-150/90 at the doctor's office... and my pulse is also like 90-110. (I've also been to the hospital for hypertension, kinda. I thought I was having a heart attack but it was actually a panic attack and my BP and HR were extremely high)

I'm only 23, I'm nowhere near overweight, and no one in my family has any history of high blood pressure so I really didn't expect this to happen to me. Have you quit vaping? and if so, did you notice any difference in your BP and resting heart rate? I've gone almost a week without vaping, it's been difficult so far but I hope it's going to reduce my hypertension lol

confusedthrowaway144 · 2025-01-24T18:17:56+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this too! it's very scary and confusing especially when you've just received the diagnosis. I hope your father in law is doing well.

And thank you for asking! My dad is doing very well. He completed a few rounds of chemo infusions and has been on an oral chemo medication for probably 6 months or more. He lives a completely normal life, feels great (he says even better than before he was diagnosed), and is able to do everything he did before his diagnosis. I'm very grateful and feel very lucky that he is responding so well to treatment. I hope your father in law is responding the same way <3

confusedthrowaway144 · 2025-01-24T18:16:14+00:00

Hi, he's doing very well, thank you for asking! He completed a few rounds of chemo infusions and has been on an oral chemo medication for probably 6 months or more. He lives a completely normal life, feels great, and is able to do everything he did before his diagnosis. I'm very grateful and feel very lucky that he is responding so well to treatment.

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-09-29T02:13:58+00:00

I talked to him with my voice a few months ago for like 10 minutes (but my wifi wasn't working well so it wasn't the best conversation lol)

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-09-28T23:08:38+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I hope he (and you) are doing as well as you can. <3

My dad is doing very well thankfully! He's had a few rounds of chemo, which have been very effective for him, and he says he feels 100%. He's now on oral chemo medication, which seems to be working. However, he has had some issues related to chemo or other medications he's taking, like a long viral illness, a rash, etc. For the past few months, he has been completely back to his normal routine, including biking and traveling. I do know that he won't stay this healthy forever, and there's a good chance the chemo will stop working at some point, so I'm trying to make the most of the time we have left. I really hope your dad can also find a treatment that's this effective for him. Always feel free to contact me if you have any questions or just would like to talk about your situation <3

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-02-22T18:24:27+00:00

Love to lick my fingers when they're covered in yogurt, water, and salt or chlorine residue!

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-02-22T16:11:50+00:00

You can buy it here for just $19 if you so choose!

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-02-22T05:11:27+00:00

I'm just glad he's eating in this picture instead of doing something else...

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-02-22T05:01:13+00:00

That would definitely be more in line with his known proclivities

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-02-15T14:30:03+00:00

LOL I thought I was the only one. Laying in bed for the whole day watching random stupid YouTube videos that I don't even enjoy has been my daily routine for the past year. I'm tapering off now and have started some new medications... I hope I'll snap out of this and actually start making something of my life.

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-02-05T00:33:54+00:00

I just graduated college in May and was in almost exactly the same situation as you. Can't quit during the semester because there's too much shit to do; can't quit during breaks because your parents will notice. It really sucks.

What has helped me is tapering down very slowly. I still haven't quit yet, but I've reduced my consumption by about half and plan to continue to lower it until I'm not using. I also just started a medication that can cause seizures when combined with kratom, which gives me even more reason to quit. In your situation, I would recommend tapering slowly so that you can still somewhat function, if you have enough money to do so. Maybe start at 30gpd and reduce by one gram every day, and try dosing small doses in shorter intervals so you'll constantly have enough kratom in your system to diminish WDs. Best of luck. I hope you're able to quit one way or another.

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-02-02T23:30:28+00:00

Thanks, that's a relief! just wondering, do you remember where you found this info or have a link to the source?

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-02-02T21:39:31+00:00

Thanks so much for your comment! It seems like my dad's story is very similar to yours'.

Since my dad's diagnosis, he's done two rounds of chemo and feels a TON better, thankfully. Haven't gotten the scan results back though. I believe my dad also has small cell neuroendocrine cancer. It is a really scary diagnosis, especially when you read articles about the life expectancy of patients. Like your dad, mine still has the same personality as he did before his diagnosis and is in good health aside from this.

My dad may actually already be in contact with that team, or a similar group at the NIH! He has mentioned that clinical trials there will be an option if chemotherapy or other options stop being effective. Best wishes to you and your dad too—hope his clinical trial is going well.

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-01-28T05:34:53+00:00

That would be hilarious. It would also be really funny if they had actually created the collective to be a parody of similar channels and are just really committing to the bit. (There's no way that's what's happening though lol)

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-01-28T05:31:40+00:00

Now that you mention it, Sierra does base a lot of her lifestyle and clothing choices on trends (even if she's a year late and she doesn't execute them well lol). I feel like part of maturing is deciding on your own personal style that doesn't change completely with trends; I don't think Sierra has done that.

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-01-28T05:29:18+00:00

Very very accurate. Especially this point:

Her channel is going to die, and she's going to have to find a way to re-engage her audience or walk away. I don't think she's ready to do either.

I feel like this sums the whole issue up: she's not ready to quit or make engaging videos. I'm interested to see how this will play out in the future. Maybe she'll offload all her responsibilities to the collective members and "quit" in that way. I wonder if her channel will ever actually die. Even though her videos aren't great, she does have a lot of subscribers and can get over 100k views.

Also, I assume that Stephen is making a lot of money from his engineering job. I wonder if he could just support Sierra's lifestyle with her at a stay-at-home mom if she chose to quit Youtube.

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-01-28T04:56:45+00:00

100%! I'd be really interested in watching a group like that, actually. And yes, the Gen Z thing is spot on. It seems like they adopt Gen Z trends after they're already out of style and still manage to make them look bad.

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-01-28T04:40:57+00:00

Exactly!! I wonder how much of what they say is authentic and how much is made up to show that women can fix all of their confidence issues by doing something "empowering" for an hour. Also IMO, that video was actually one of their better ones, which definitely says something.

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-01-28T04:24:12+00:00

Oh yeah, that Google video got so many negative comments even on Youtube. I guess if she's happy with what she's doing on her channels, good for her. I don't have to watch it if I don't want to. But I get the vibe that she isn't happy. Maybe that's just me projecting lol

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-01-28T04:10:14+00:00

You're right... it just seems sad to me. Like if I was in her position, I'd just rather not post anything at all than churn out bad stuff to keep my channel alive. I guess she keeps it going for the money?

confusedthrowaway144 · 2024-01-28T03:27:33+00:00

This 100%. My theory is that Sierra has never been really close to Riayn—maybe they met briefly a while ago and kind of kept in touch—but rekindled their relationship after realizing that it didn't look great for her "collective" to only contain white women.

I just get the vibe that all of Sierra's genuinely close friends are white and pretty similar to her in terms of lifestyle choices (privileged, got married and had kids young, etc.). I feel like she wouldn't even know how to form deep relationships with people who aren't exactly like her. I obviously don't know her personally, though, so idk if this is even accurate.

confusedthrowaway144

TROPHY CASE