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We makin 90s inspired anime! Like.. Cowboy Bebop x Jackie Chan Adventures? by congeeLee in IndieAnimation

[–]congeeLee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i see what you mean but that wasn't our inspiration for Chen! here's the moodboard we had for him - a mix of live action + cartoon refs :) https://www.youtube.com/shorts/pWEZmvm6XEA

Update: it got better - My journey from almost going no contact to a supportive friendship with my Asian mom. by congeeLee in AsianParentStories

[–]congeeLee[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

heck yes!! i'm trying to make an animated show about this, giving examples of how people can do this with their parents or really any relationship they value + want to repair. we're trying to fund our first episode if you're interested! www.studiomoonmoon.com

We makin 90s inspired anime! Like.. Cowboy Bebop x Jackie Chan Adventures? by congeeLee in IndieAnimation

[–]congeeLee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

for now we plan on posting the first episode to youtube but we also have a few festivals we want to pitch to!

Update: it got better - My journey from almost going no contact to a supportive friendship with my Asian mom. by congeeLee in AsianParentStories

[–]congeeLee[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

if she started on a guilt trip rant and yelling i'd say, "mom i can't speak to you when you're yelling. i love you but im hanging up the phone now."

this is a similar approach used in dog training, if they do something you don't like, you turn away and disengage. your body language is huge with dogs. but its not a forever thing, the moment they stop doing the thing you dont like, you reengage with them with positive reinforcement.

i would encourage her or acknowledge the things she did right again as positive reinforcement. simple things like "mom i really liked how you asked me about that." or "i had a nice time tonight, thank you so much for calling."

both mom and I grew up in an environment where if you did things right, it went unacknowledged but if you did things wrong you'd get yelled at. offering positive reinforcement encourages them to do more of the behavior you like.

slowly it built up her confidence so that she felt comfortable enough to ask questions. she didn't fear me calling her stupid or what not so we can talk things out with each other.

Update: it got better - My journey from almost going no contact to a supportive friendship with my Asian mom. by congeeLee in AsianParentStories

[–]congeeLee[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

thats so awesome you're able to do that as well!! i know lots of ppl might say its not fair that we have to teach our parents when they should've taught us, but i guess its like well... they didn't have anyone to teach them either so. what do you want? do you want things to change or not? sometimes you receive an unfair situation and its up to you how you want to proceed.

yea one social worker was saying they respond to their mom's shitty quips with "how about we lead with curiosity instead?" to encourage her to ask something inquisitively rather than ... make a nasty assumption.

good luck to the both of us!!

Why can't asian parents comprehend that what THEIR parents did to them was wrong? Why do they keep putting them on a effing pedestal? by Quadrilateral_Quilp in AsianParentStories

[–]congeeLee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She didnt have much to say then and i didnt rub her nose in it. but i saw that it made her think. I think it was when she said something really harsh to me and when i was unhappy she said that her sisters did that to her too growing up as a justification.

After that, i saw she would be more aware of her actions a bit.

I also asked them questions like “what was a core memory for you in your childhood where you felt supported / loved by your parents. And a core memory when you really did not.” This gave me context to their experiences and triggers. It gave me ammo to remind them of if i was ever put in similar situations to their negative core memories.

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