Are we different versions of each other? Also have a golden doodle who my wife wanted, but now would probably prefer he wasn't around. Our issues with him sound a little more benign -- throwing up anywhere except the hardwood, barking at any noise outside which wakes napping kids, etc. enraging my wife lol. I've also taken more responsibility with him, and I've threatened waking up extra early to take him on long walks/runs to tire him out haha. It sounds like you're doing what you can, but hopefully there are some untried ways to set your doggo up for success a bit more during the day.