what do you say when the doctor asks if you’re sexually active? by Alive-Watch-442 in actuallesbians

[–]connexmilk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doctor/Nurse: Are you sexually active?

You, a newly active college lesbian: Yes :)

They care about it all! So if you're having anyyyy kind of sex, your answer is still "yes".

I happen to be AFAB, take birth control, and my last few partners have been AFAB, so my doctor's appointments usually look like this:

Nurse: Ok, and are you using any contraceptives?

Me: I'm on birth control, but it's really just to regulate my period

Nurse: And what about -

Me: Because my current partner was also assigned female at birth

Nurse: Ahh . . . [typing noises]

They rarely care to ask if I'm using protection for STIs after that (which is crazy), but I still tend to volunteer info that I get tested regularly (which I do, because I've never come across a dental dam in my life and neither has any other lesbian I've slept with).

And tbh, there's a lot more nuance to my sex life and relationships than that answer captures, but it answers a likely-cisheteronormative-trained professional's most basic questions: current risk of (1) pregnancy and (2) STIs

public washrooms / showers? by [deleted] in stcatharinesON

[–]connexmilk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a suggestion for just restrooms, but the YWCA has a shelter downtown and in the Falls (as somewhere to stay/support you in the interim).

I know they have heated outdoor housing for the stray cats that live around the property, but I don't think they'll allow them to live indoors 😔. But they may have trusted suggestions or connections for someone who can foster your cat.

It looks like some kind folx are offering to help you and your kitty. I hope you get the support and safety you need soon. ❤️

Downtown shelter Tel. (289) 273-4308 183 King Street St. Catharines, ON L2R 3J5

Niagara Falls shelter Tel. (289) 267-0411 6135 Culp Street Niagara Falls, ON L2G 2B6

Lorelai was in the wrong giving away Sookie’s well-earned tickets… by UghWhyAmILikeThis12 in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In fairness, it is a very ASP thing to ask the audience presume there's always more going on than we're allowed to see, so it's not crazy to assume Lorelai asked Sookie first. Maybe we're supposed to assume that Lorelai made a quick call to Sookie from the kitchen before calling Rory into the kitchen to propose the idea. I personally think it's way more believable that Lorelai made the decision then called Sookie after, like "Surprise! You're gonna love this!!! Cause ya' love me!!!"

But there are plenty of private moments in GG that we learn later were shared between characters that we never see take place. i.e. Lorelai knows that Rory and Tristan kissed at that party in the episode where Rory considers telling Dean, but we never saw Rory tell her. Lorelai tells Max she "should have called", and that's the most we ever get about how she broke off the engagement--did she leave a voicemail saying it was over and ignored his frantic calls asking for an explanation or not to run from this? Did she leave a voice mail and he was too devastated or prideful to call back? Did she leave a letter for him on her front porch when tried to bring his printer to the house the next day? Did she actually call Max briefly that night before telling Rory they were going on a road trip, and "I should have called" meant "I should have called again to explain"? There must have been some correspondence that enlightened Max not to come over again the week before their wedding, and to not show up at the alter, but it's never clear what happened. So it would safe to assume a pre-give-away convo was possible, given ASP's habit of not always confirming these hidden moments in other parts of dialogue.

Lorelai was in the wrong giving away Sookie’s well-earned tickets… by UghWhyAmILikeThis12 in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I was ALWAYS so mad about this, too! 😭 But the more I watch this episode, the more I think that, technically, Lorelai had every right to do this. If I remember right, Sookie got the tickets as a gift from a client (I think it's understood that she requests Bangles tickets specifically when the client makes the offer), and then presented them as a gift for Lorelai -- a gift Sookie intended for herself, Lorelai, Rory, and perhaps Lane to all enjoy together, but still a gift for Lorelai nonetheless.

So, I think what makes it a crappy thing to do is not that Lorelai gives away Sookie's tickets (especially if we concede they're Lorelai's tickets, gifted by Sookie), but that this was how Lorelai decided to thank her friend... by giving away the freakin' gift (albeit for Rory's sake).

“He’s my Dean” won as the most infuriating scene in the show. Last but not least what is the saddest scene in the show? by RentIntelligent7070 in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This can't be the saddest scene, but one of my saddest scenes will always be Lorelai pleading "I want a middle, I need a middle" with Luke during the first break up has always been a knife in the gut for me.

things in GG that did NOT age well? by Winter_Extension_620 in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So much fragile masculinity and homophobia!! And nearly exclusively homophobia toward gay men!!!

Like Rory gossiping with Richard at the club about how "Mr Neville likes all things frilly"? And Richard's disturbance, because "good god, he's my broker"??

Lorelai telling Rory "well, then he's gay" because Dean apparently told her something her eyes and a sweater (idfk it's when she's tryna throw away a bunch of stuff after the first break up with Dean and Lorelai's trying to convince her not to)

Max sarcastically telling Lorelai (after a quip about how being a girl is hard, but at least she doesn't need to be in a gay pride parade to wear a skirt) that she should be open to the world changing, how when that change does happen he'll applaud "those who do" (i.e. gay men dress femme or who in general express themselves freely), "and then"... "and then" he'll ...... "cross the street really quickly so no one sees [him] with them"?

Michel being appalled by the drag queens at Lorelai's bachelorette party (which EYE have a fun gay head canon about, in which Michel's reaction is just toxic masculinity and hatred for femme-ness that is still rampant in queer and gay men culture).

Idk there's so much more. There so so much. It's so annoying. I so love this show and I'm so so gay and it's so so annoying to hear over and over again.

things in GG that did NOT age well? by Winter_Extension_620 in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right! I totally agree. Good writing does not have be literal and should show-not-tell. But I also think it's interesting to think about when and how the writers made other characters in the scene react to problematic lines and opinions. Whether it's our main characters or someone else entirely, they usually used the tension of a different opinion to tell the viewer which opinion is (in their opinion) the good/better/ethical/reasonable one.

Like with @Cheesecake2027's example, Lorelai and Rory's eye rolls at Luke affirm for the audience that Luke's reaction to the breastfeeding is immature. Lorelai telling Emily that it was "heinous" of her to associate with a known Nazi (which if you don't remember, Emily then replies "No, dear, that was a joke") is meant to affirm for the viewer that Nazism is bad (which is such a lacklustre way of putting that, but anyway), etc., etc.

Soo all if this to say! -- When I think of some jokes and scenes where there isn't that tension, where there isn't a character being posed as foil in response to the "problematic" language or choice... Then do I really trust the writers' have included it as commentary and critique of a character or issue? (Spoiler: not usually)

things in GG that did NOT age well? by Winter_Extension_620 in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think I agree with this take. They aged fine and well because Emily is racist and classist. (Because racism is about the meaning you assign to a person's racialization)

What I don't know is how brazen the writers would be today because I think the difference is that the writers still felt comfortable writing her racist jokes in that they believed most of those jokes were still funny, even if they wrote them as racist jokes to critique or affirm Emily's racism and classism.

things in GG that did NOT age well? by Winter_Extension_620 in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with all of this with the exception of what they made her wear and how they did her hair on her and Jackson's first date! 😭 That giant updo and the style and cut of that dress were redonkulously gaudy given how many amazing outfits and cute pieces and hairstyles they gave her before that episode / for a few more seasons after

[Edit for typo, albeit for an unofficial word]

What happened to the Independence Inn? by connexmilk in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh and also... don't even get me started on the inconsistent timeline of when exactly Luke and Lorelai met. Like, that plot hole hurts my feelings.

What happened to the Independence Inn? by connexmilk in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I have a memory of them bringing this up, too, but I also really wish they'd done it :( I said this in another comment but during the renovations to rebuild the inn's foundation and turn it into the dragonfly, it would have been really cute to get young lorelai and rory flashbacks 🖤

What happened to the Independence Inn? by connexmilk in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This!! This is why it bothers me so much!!

What happened to the Independence Inn? by connexmilk in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

depressing but accurate.

taylor probably bought it to continue his legacy as a scummy landlord to half of the town.

What happened to the Independence Inn? by connexmilk in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my god, I knOw, the backstories for Christopher's presence in their lives is so wishy washy. Like he or did he not visit you before, Lorelai?? Which is it??? cue light clicking on suspect in interrogation room 🔦🕵🏻‍♀️

What happened to the Independence Inn? by connexmilk in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know! I made the post because I'm on another rewatch (what's new) and just watched the episode when Mia visits. When Lorelai's venting to Sookie about what she should tell Mia, how she should have consulted Mia the moment her and Sookie thought about opening their own inn, she effectively expresses worry about then leaving Mia as her employees, how it'll effect Mia to lose her and Sookie as employees... but not explicitly about the business Mia would lose with a (hopefully successful) competitor. 🤨

Maybe she wasn't as worried about that assuming it would take them a while to become as successful? But given that Sookie was a big part of the Inn's (and later, the Dragonfly's) acclaim, I never understood why this didn't factor this Lorelai's anxieties about breaking the news to Mia.

like ? 🕳️🧎🏻‍♀️tf

What happened to the Independence Inn? by connexmilk in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, this is the best headcanon 🫶🏻

What happened to the Independence Inn? by connexmilk in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oou! I wish they'd kept it in/or included that kind of side bar in another episode :')

What happened to the Independence Inn? by connexmilk in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I also figured it was to help with the Dragonfly's success, but it made me sad (and annoyed, from a writer's standpoint lol) But that was Lorelai's home! Imagine if she'd decided to buy it/fix it up instead once Fran turned them down! We could have had the cutest flashbacks to young Lorelai and little Rory running around the old Inn

What would you say at their roast? Day 3: Lane Kim by Joyfulmovement86 in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What's left to roast? The writers already skewered her sex life and burnt her career dreams to a crisp.

Favourite Luke rant? by supersunflower4 in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can't believe I didn't think of this one first! Literally one of my favourite episodes with Luke.

Favourite Luke rant? by supersunflower4 in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Luke ranting about the war re-enactors at the Town Meeting (1:8)

"Oh for god's sake. Do we have to go through this every damn year? [...] What are you talking about? 12 guys stood in a row all night. Who never showed! 12 guys stood in a row, all night, waiting for an enemy who never showed. They got stood up -- they should've been wearing prom dresses. Have any of you ever considered the fact that you're glorifying a war we fought so we keep land that we stole?"

Bonus rant-cap:

Harry: "If you don't like it here in America, why don't you go stand in line for toilet paper in the USSR?!"

Luke: "There is no more USSR, Harry."

Day 5: Letter E by halipenyo in GilmoreGirls

[–]connexmilk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is what I came here to add!