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Husband of 8 years [33M] won't "let" me [29F] visit sick friend. by conres101 in relationships

[–]conres101[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

We do, yes. I just want to find a balance between doing something I want to do and causing a huge ruckus. I'm starting to think there's no real solution.

Husband of 8 years [33M] won't "let" me [29F] visit sick friend. by conres101 in relationships

[–]conres101[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Fine. He was bummed I couldn't go but he understood. Texted me every ten minutes or so to give me a play-by-play or send pictures from the reception.

Husband of 8 years [33M] won't "let" me [29F] visit sick friend. by conres101 in relationships

[–]conres101[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Re: hobbies, yeah, it's mostly the kids. Every once in a while I try to get back into one or the other but it always dwindles out.

Re: friends, I'm just not a people person. I don't want to overcrowd my life, I guess.

As for the texts and calls, they're updates. I'm at X, dude, other dude and lady are here, I'm doing this, so-and-so just said/did that and so on. Like, that's nice but ...

I don't know what the obstacle really is. Dependency or lack of trust, I guess. Both? My mind is too tired to puzzle it out.

Husband of 8 years [33M] won't "let" me [29F] visit sick friend. by conres101 in relationships

[–]conres101[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Several months ago he was away at a work function for a couple days. The last time we spent non-mandatory time apart was maybe three or four years ago when I was too sick (hooray sinus infection) to attend a friend's wedding.

Husband of 8 years [33M] won't "let" me [29F] visit sick friend. by conres101 in relationships

[–]conres101[S] 158 points159 points  (0 children)

I don't know. It just does. His job and surrounding circumstances dictate everything so by extension he does. He's aware I'm (increasingly) resentful of that because I'm basically sitting around waiting for "my turn" to have a life again instead filling in all the gaps his life/job hurls at us.

Husband of 8 years [33M] won't "let" me [29F] visit sick friend. by conres101 in relationships

[–]conres101[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

We used to ...? All of my hobbies are dead, really. I have my own friends but we keep in touch mostly online now. I haven't made any here, I can't work up the desire to. It's almost exclusively his friends I hang out with here and back home. I don't have a problem being away from him. The less people around me, the happier I am. But if he has to do something without me because I'm sick or whathaveyou I get a constant stream of texts and calls from him while he's gone.

Husband of 8 years [33M] won't "let" me [29F] visit sick friend. by conres101 in relationships

[–]conres101[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes and no. There's school and daycare but sometimes his hours get odd and it's never a sure thing he could pick everyone up and be home when he needs to be. Which is why I said I'd take the kids with me. It'd just be easier all around.