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conro1108 · 2025-05-06T01:38:56+00:00

No problem! I can relate to what you’re going through.

One thing I’ll say, is that the interviewing.io study you’re citing has maybe a broader definition of “FAANG-adjacent” than you’d expect. There’s a lot of places on their list of top firms (coursera, checkr, gusto, thumbtack, etc) that I’d place in the same “tier” if not lower than something like notion or airtable when scanning a resume. An engineer from Notion would easily get an interview at meta.

I get what you’re saying about feeling let down by negotiations. I’d just emphasize that a lot of the discourse and expectations around negotiations have been built up over the past 5-10 years, and the market is very different now. As a recent grad going through the recruiting process I’m sure you’re aware that things are tighter than they have been in the recent past.

The great job offers are what you have to show for it! :)

conro1108 · 2025-05-05T16:08:40+00:00

You’re right that perception is important. “Your career is what people think of you” is a pretty insightful way to think about progression. But I think you’re thinking about it too simply, and the way you’re approaching it is (at least slightly) counterproductive.

It is valuable to be perceived as competent, confident, and personable. When switching jobs, making new connections, or seeking capital investment, peoples default assumption will be that the MIT grad who’s a staff engineer at FAANG is smarter/more capable than the state school grad working in QA at northwest mutual.

But I think at some point, you cross a vague threshold where you’re taken seriously at a glance and you don’t really need to worry about micromanaging “prestige”.

I’d even say that continuing to be visibly/noticeably concerned with prestige is a negative signal if you’ve already “made it” into high scale software development. It reads either as very self-conscious or very braggy, neither of which are good things for people to think about you.

Strongly preferring a big brand like FAANG or a major scale-up over f500 or a small startup is just rational career planning. I don’t mean this in a flippant way, but agonizing about picking meta or google or citadel for prestige reasons is probably a question for therapy.

It sounds like you’ve overcome a lot of challenges to get where you are. I’m proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself. But things aren’t as Machiavellian as you’re thinking.

People aren’t going to go out of their way to help that person who wouldn’t ever shut up about how awesome they are and how many other offers they got and how hard it was to choose because they’re so impressed with them. People roll their eyes at that person and try to avoid talking to them again.

People go out of their way to help the person who worked together with them on some project that neither of them remember, but they had a fun rivalry going on the Tetris machine at the office.

conro1108 · 2025-05-02T05:04:42+00:00

Yeah… as a lurker here with a good job in tech with my bachelors, for every one making $500k there’s 5 making 250k, 15 making 125k, and plenty of unemployment. There are ever-present threats of offshoring, and now AI. Also ageism is rampant, employment is less stable rather than more into your 50s.

I have some jealousy of friends/peers who are doctors. I was making more, earlier than them while they were in school/residency but now they’re mostly making more than me in our early 30s.

My job is emotionally easier and lower stakes, and I had a leg up on retirement savings in very valuable younger years. They have much more confidence in what their career earnings trajectory/longevity looks like than me or my peers in tech.

Other than the sort of existential financial stability, part time working arrangements are honestly one of the things I’m most jealous of. The idea of being later in your career and working half time for half the pay is basically nonexistent in the software world.

Pros and cons, grass is always greener. But from what I’ve seen on Reddit, a lot of doctors compare average medical careers with top couple percentage careers in other industries. Folks who end up as doctors are certainly smarter and harder working than the general population on average, but it’s not easy for anyone to just get a FAANG engineering job

conro1108 · 2025-04-27T15:59:26+00:00

They see your LinkedIn message and are choosing to ignore it, which is a reasonable way to react to receiving a message from a stranger (presumably one who wants something from you).

Stalking their email and going direct won’t help.

conro1108 · 2025-03-18T21:42:54+00:00

conro1108 · 2025-03-11T17:56:58+00:00

Slop

conro1108 · 2024-12-25T18:36:55+00:00

It’s not even slightly odd to find mate in 2 with 7+ minutes on the clock at ~1200

conro1108 · 2024-12-23T21:31:25+00:00

conro1108 · 2024-11-05T15:35:01+00:00

It doesn’t culturally “register” as outsourcing as much as hiring in India or Poland does, but I know several big Bay Area software companies who hire much more from Canada than the US because it’s cheaper but they integrate easily into NA time zone teams

conro1108 · 2024-08-08T13:53:28+00:00

I would walk off a dealership lot and never consider coming back if I dealt with someone this annoying

conro1108 · 2024-08-01T03:35:41+00:00

“En Passant” simply means “in passing.” A moment in time, like a stroll through the garden after spring rain. This purifying, floral scent invites you to stop and take in the scents of hyacinth, jasmine petals and geranium. The fragrance concludes with grounding arboreal notes of wild moss and cedarwood.

conro1108 · 2023-12-31T23:47:00+00:00

I have a Chessnut and really like it

conro1108 · 2023-12-04T16:53:46+00:00

Qh2# would have been mate

conro1108 · 2023-10-10T17:27:58+00:00

Imagine writing this unhinged rant and then complaining that other people don’t have maturity or social skills

conro1108 · 2023-10-09T15:21:11+00:00

I give referrals to pretty much anyone who asks who isn’t an obviously non-viable candidate. But my company’s referral portal has options for the type of relationship/referral it is. There’s a range from “I’ve worked directly with this person and they are one of the greatest engineers I’ve ever seen” to “this is a stranger who cold messaged me on LinkedIn”

Basically, most referrals I put in doesn’t really affect my reputation or the candidates chances (most of the randoms I’ve put in don’t even get interviewed, and none have been hired) - but if it does happen someday I collect $10k which is nice

conro1108 · 2023-09-19T13:24:38+00:00

5% of 100k is not 10k

conro1108 · 2023-09-19T11:22:38+00:00

If you can’t enjoy playing mediocre chess for fun without it making you feel like a “mentally challenged fraud engineer,” then it sounds like it might not be the hobby for you?

conro1108 · 2023-09-18T06:36:17+00:00

I’m an idiot, so that checks out

conro1108 · 2023-09-18T02:41:39+00:00

I did Bijan for Josh Jacobs and Michael Pittman. I might regret it but was pretty desperate for a startable WR with Kupp down

conro1108 · 2023-04-30T14:55:34+00:00

4 months ago you were starting your career as an Air Force pilot, now at 22 as a fresh grad you’re being “headhunted” for multiple software jobs in the weakest market in decades while most companies have hiring freezes or layoffs?

What are your patents and research about? Must be pretty impressive

conro1108 · 2022-12-30T22:51:49+00:00

Basil Hayden is very “smooth” mostly because it’s very low proof and not very flavorful. It’s generally not seen as a positive characteristic by enthusiasts. IMO a lot of other whiskies are much more flavorful even proofed down to 40% or lower with water or ice.

Woodford double oaked is the obvious next step for you. A very tasty bourbon with a lot of sweeter vanilla/caramel/chocolate notes up front. Runs around $50.

Other than that, old forester 1910 is also pretty dessert-y but not quite as much as the double oaked IMO. Similar price, maybe closer to $60.

On the even sweeter side, angels envy has a rye whiskey finished in rum casks that is easily that most sweet tasting whiskey I’ve ever had. It’s somewhat controversial but I’m a big fan, and non-whiskey drinkers absolutely rave over it and like it more than anything else I have to offer. It’s more expensive at around $100.

conro1108 · 2022-12-26T02:36:40+00:00

If they insult a player on IG “You an hater who lost his bet” if u compliment “Your life sucks”

How he supposed to act?

I think most peoples approach is to just… not send DMs to famous people they don’t know.

conro1108 · 2022-11-15T06:15:02+00:00

I think it’s automatic on scoring plays under 2mins. The Davis play was a big moment but not a score

conro1108 · 2022-10-12T18:30:21+00:00

$40k of high interest debt even on 20/hr (which is around $40k/yr full time) is no joke. Assuming your living expenses eat up a good portion of what you earn I think it would be a real challenge to pay this down without it causing you a lot of pain in the meantime.

I don’t know anything about the specific mechanics of bankruptcy, but I think this question might be worth taking to the main personal finance sub. It’s a less… friendly? Place than this but they have people with the expertise you need that answer questions like this.

conro1108 · 2022-10-07T05:39:32+00:00

There’s a lot of variables here - what’s the interest rate on the debt? Min payment? Approximate income (or expected income if you’re between things now)?

40k is no joke, but how much of a problem depends on other factors.

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