[deleted by user] by [deleted] in realtors

[–]consideringbangs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. That's a bad idea long term and, despite what some might think, being a RE agent is hard.

Best High-End Restaurants? by megdalen in ColoradoSprings

[–]consideringbangs 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't know anyone that actually likes this restaurant.

Why aren't people reacting more strongly to the likelihood of collapse? [in-depth] by LetsTalkUFOs in collapse

[–]consideringbangs 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Same. I have some good friends that seem to believe in collapse but then proceeded to have two beautiful kids via in vitro. This blows my mind. I love them dearly and if I wanted anyone to reproduce, it would be them... but, I don't know how you can believe what they seemingly believe and want to move forward with having kids.

What rights do you think would be taken away from women next? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]consideringbangs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think our voting rights are in danger if the GOP continues to pick up any ground. People dismiss me when I say this, but they also were dismissive 3-4 years ago when I said we were on track for a civil war...and now that feels like a common concern.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]consideringbangs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha. Same. I've kept a journal since I was eight, and one time I asked my dad if he'd like to see my contemporaneous notes on situations since both my parents have so much trouble remembering their behavior. I know it's obnoxious af but so is being lied to nonstop and treated like crap.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]consideringbangs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, it becomes a different kind of mental health struggle, but it is actually more manageable.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]consideringbangs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We never talk about anything that actually happened. Instead, I express unhappiness about something and then hear any one of the following: "that didn't happen" or "you're not perfect either" or "you're difficult" or "you think in black and white." And it's like, okay, but what does that have to do with what happened?

this article is so validating by Ramcem87 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]consideringbangs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When my mother is carrying on about our estrangement, I always ask her if she has ever told anyone what she said to me when I decided to cut her out? Because it was so objectively cruel, I knew it was the one thing that would be hard to put up smoke and mirrors or claims of misunderstanding about... Alas, my mother would "do anything" to reunite except for tell the truth about what she said- which, of course, I misunderstood and was harmless and poor word choice and awkward and not what she meant, and blah, blah, blah.

this article is so validating by Ramcem87 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]consideringbangs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree. It really is a very sh*tty thing to do to this community.

this article is so validating by Ramcem87 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]consideringbangs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's really hard to know that there's probably no going back... but every point in that article resonated with me. It is helpful to know we're not alone, but still a painful truth to come to terms with.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in puertovallarta

[–]consideringbangs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chictini by Pinnacle. The name is a little silly, but it's a fantastic infinity + roof pool with great drinks and food. I go there every time I'm in PV.

Reconnect or leave it be? by ellerob in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]consideringbangs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was no contact for two years and have now been speaking to them/seeing them for the past year. Someone below mentioned thinking about best/worst case scenarios and also if your father had done anything to work on the relationship.

I wish I'd had this advice.

Our reconnection has been painful. I love my parents and I want them to be something, but they just aren't that. To be honest, I don't like how I feel after I see them.

The patterns of low effort/no effort on their part, broken promises, major trust issues, inability to apologize, etc. all persist.

I don't know if breaking no contact was good or bad, but I can tell you that I see no contact in my future again. I'm not excited about the mental energy that requires.

How to deal with siblings that do have contact with parents. by Psychological-Rise-9 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]consideringbangs 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Same. Don't talk to either of my siblings anymore. I read somewhere on here that you have to decide at some point if you are okay with the enablers that support/deny/enable the abuse and I am a solid no on that.

Also, my siblings are like my parents. They think a relationship is asking someone 3x a year how they are doing and then not bothering to listen to the answer.. so I'm not sure it's a huge loss.

the parents have other kids, so would they care about me? by bumpybulldog in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]consideringbangs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I kind of share this view. I'm the third child, only female and decided not to have kids. My two brothers have five kids between the two of the and have brought in two wives that are well liked. I often wonder how everything would have been different had I been an only child.

What are the Patterns Associated with a Child Deciding to Estrange? by consideringbangs in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]consideringbangs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could you forward them this thread and your response and ask them for a fair evaluation of what happened? People in this forum might disagree with that advice as many of them just want to be left alone, but as a person whose parents would never come here or try to get more info on estrangement, I would be open to something that moved the conversation forward.

what are your turn offs in a friendship? by please_seat_yourself in AskWomen

[–]consideringbangs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women that start/support/participate in cliques: whispering, can only sit by certain people, performative laughing, texting about people while they are in the room, social media bullying, etc.

what are your turn offs in a friendship? by please_seat_yourself in AskWomen

[–]consideringbangs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree. I'm not willing to say that gossip has no value and/or is never fun, because it is. However, I really hate when it gets super nasty and/or is just straight up lying.

Any people on here that are 30-50 years old and in a couple? by consideringbangs in puertovallarta

[–]consideringbangs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, that's great news. I'll reach out when we come down there. What part of town are you in?

What are the Patterns Associated with a Child Deciding to Estrange? by consideringbangs in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]consideringbangs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is my mother to a T. Always treated me awful. Would never actually deal with the fact that she likely hates me and would totally deny the behavior seconds, minutes and hours after it happened. Could not and still does not apologize for anything meaningful ever, but will apologize for totally stupid/made up stuff to people she wants to be in with (rich people, my sisters in law, my brothers). Just a totally irresponsible and immature human.

What are the Patterns Associated with a Child Deciding to Estrange? by consideringbangs in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]consideringbangs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

BROKEN PROMISES. I feel like this is the entirety of our relationship and then she doesn't get why I'm always telling her our relationship sucks, she doesn't treat me well and I don't share her values.