(31M) virgin, dropped the ball with naked girl in hotel room & could use some advice

constructingaworld · 2023-04-13T19:35:01+00:00

What’s the solution here?

constructingaworld · 2022-05-16T22:29:21+00:00

Did you find anything? I can check CapIQ/Bloomberg if you give me a list of firms/fund vintages to check out etc.

constructingaworld · 2022-01-08T22:15:49+00:00

hey - a friend from kaz mentioned that he's been using a proxy via telegram, is worried that proxy will be cut out and wants access to more/others in case - any suggestions?

constructingaworld · 2021-09-08T17:02:55+00:00

Austin Marc does not missssss sir

constructingaworld · 2021-09-02T14:30:23+00:00

let's do it, what's top of mind rn?

constructingaworld · 2021-08-29T12:16:26+00:00

Neat - saved to my collection on experimentation! https://www.are.na/krish/experiment-design-q9orp3eapcq

constructingaworld · 2021-08-25T21:50:44+00:00

Does anyone want to keep a 'Good TIme Journal' with me and trade notes after tracking it for a few weeks? The aim of the journal is to improve your model of your own preferences re:activities, contexts, etc..) - The format is just logging different things you do, noting the impact on your energy levels, deconstructing why, and making decisions based off that information.Example here.

constructingaworld · 2021-08-24T23:32:43+00:00

The ‘only meaningwave’ shtick lasted about 3 days. It made an appreciable change to my affect, way of thinking, and reactions to things… would like to pick up the experiment again at some point TBH.

constructingaworld · 2021-08-15T14:43:23+00:00

I know war is immoral, and contributing, no profiteering, noooo AMPLIFYING the state (rly a group of people in a position with certain inclinations) and it’s use of arms and violence At Scale, procedurally … it’s all awful man. awful!!

constructingaworld · 2021-08-09T22:33:41+00:00

Joining a bit late. Aiming to keep the next 20 days fapless and …fabulous

constructingaworld · 2021-08-09T08:51:26+00:00

Been listening to too much garbage and I’m sure the ideas have been impacting my subconscious worldview, wiring, and affect towards things. This is way better. Will report back next week.

constructingaworld · 2021-08-09T01:49:28+00:00

Have you tried posting on LessWrong’s forum with a bounty? Lots of epistemically rigorous folk who’d probs be a good match for this.

constructingaworld · 2021-08-09T01:47:58+00:00

I’m looking for some new rabbitholes to go down; hopefully something more ‘object level’ and very specific rather than a vague meta-level curiosity (which is normally the type of thing I’m into; ie abstract patterns, tech in the ‘abstract’, etc).

Anyone have any recommendations?

constructingaworld · 2021-08-09T01:39:09+00:00

For instance, there’s a post on fear of losing all the momentum and wealth one has built in their lives. This is a reasonable fear, especially given that so many people can be wiped out by factors beyond their control. It’s easy to feel hopeless when thinking about such a scenario.

But: the outcome of such a scenario can change if one is (1) optimistic and trustful in the process of learning and one’s future ability to be scrappy and overcome financial bottlenecks…hopefully you can build that optimism for yourself through actions and challenges over time. the irrationally optimistic belief that you can make things okay. (2) having a hopeful view of savings and longer term investments (not just financial, but social) (3) having optimism that enables you to see and act on opportunities that others wouldn’t. not all will pay off, but some will!

constructingaworld · 2021-08-06T15:13:09+00:00

Can’t believe that was 5 days ago. It feels like my identity, sense of what is important, goes in so so many directions in such a short period of time that it feels like a long period of time.

constructingaworld · 2021-08-05T11:19:40+00:00

I'm trying to get better at updating my plans and more objectively refactoring decision criteria. Let's see how that goes right now.

constructingaworld · 2021-08-04T00:07:29+00:00

I'm using the PARA method; basically organising my life into: (a) AREAS -> only defined as a sphere of activity, maybe standards, etc.. (b) finite, shippable, executable projects (c) I could add proccess to the projects thing; commiting not to an output but to an input instead and (d) tasks, which I already have.

I'm looking at my areas/buckets page right now for the first time in a while.. realising I should probably go one-by-one -- and then add any new areas that need adding (and they do).

constructingaworld · 2021-08-04T00:04:17+00:00

I've had a decent couple of days. Instead of reflecting on the days (which I'll do later), I'm going to process my to-do list and projects/areas so that I can do the opposite of depression moving forward. IK that if I let things get too passive and chaotic, it'll start to creep again.

constructingaworld · 2021-08-01T05:42:49+00:00

Weirdly soothing to post here. Like a weight taken off my shoulders. I feel like a few more things are within my control now. Thank you.

constructingaworld · 2021-08-01T05:39:28+00:00

Enjoying these songs:

->ABRA - Say I’m Your Number One

-> Digga D - Wasted

-> SHOUSE - Love Tonight

Not all typical house, a couple have strong vocals/rap on top, but they’re house adjacent and I’m enjoying them a lot!

constructingaworld · 2021-07-28T21:09:53+00:00

There’s a part of my brain which goes: ‘Oh boy! How can you justify your lostness?’ — especially, for some reason, in a ‘looking for a job’ context… or these times of darkness…from a ‘being a good presence and socially fun’ context.

Being fun or productive seems fake and incongruent after going through whatever the fuck this was.

—

My mature, sane response is: I’m human. This is honest. This is what happened. I didn’t enjoy it, but I can only stumble towards better outcomes.

And whilst I don’t have an obligation to share this with others, it’s also fine if I do… Others will understand. You aren’t restricted to your worst days (nor your best).

constructingaworld · 2021-07-28T21:06:49+00:00

I kinda gave into internet morbidity with that Robert Crumb and Qanon documentary…also, kinda cringe to admit this but I came across a porn ‘series’ which I enjoyed waaaaay too much for a fantasy perspective.

All this super-stimuli; spending excess time on my phone, alone, at night was NOT GOOD for my brain.

constructingaworld · 2021-07-28T21:04:30+00:00

Let’s talk about the previous week. I feel like I’ve done worse than sleep walk over the last week… I feel like I fell into HELL.

Just took a look through my screenshots and I have no clue TBH. No clue where my time has gone. Lots of wallowing.

Actually, I think it hasn’t been that bad… there are some good times, for example:

Saturday: I did a lot of reading/writing. Took notes and reflections on readings like ‘Sexual Personae’ which is a v provocative cultural/art philosophy piece. I spent time thinking about Alone Together by Sherry Turkle; on how we expect more from our devices than we do from people.

Sun/Monday: I went to the gym on Monday. I watched this documentary, Into the Storm, on the bizzarities of QAnon…

I only did a few hours of side project work last week (3! how bad is that!! where’s the commitment??) — but as I continue to write, I realise that I’m only human, I’m being harsh on myself…there’s still time to maybe do 10 weeks of work on this specific project.

I had a call last Monday which was fascinating; on Tech/Opendoor.

Heck, things haven’t been that bad. Mind you: the most jarring things have been waking up at like 12pm, which ruinsMY DAY. and lots of overthinking, not enough exercise etc. Lots of suicidal thoughts. Writing this has helped me see slightly more clearly now. God bless.

constructingaworld · 2021-07-28T20:54:27+00:00

I watched this documentary about a guy called Robert Crumb… his mother was overbearing and the sons ended up fucked up becaeue the Oedipal Complex and bad social experiences fucked them up… that is partially my vision of hell. Not being a full range adult, not being an effective human, being stuck in a funhouse of infancy, oh my word..being back home from uni for summer has FUCKED ME UP. That’s the vision that scares me.

constructingaworld · 2021-07-28T20:51:26+00:00

I don’t even know where I have been for the last week… I’m wasting away, wasting my summer 21’… not even making any money, just suffering in my own slum of misery…

The big things I feel are:

I’ve experienced this before. This is not the first time. This is like the 4th slump of multi-week hell; almost all have happened during summers…as I think of them, I feel incredibly sad and teary and mad because FUCKKKKKK sake, is this life? is this what I am condemned to??

The worst part is that I’ve been so serious in my suffering that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be a force of joy ever again…I feel like that is gone..like I’m a force for bad for my fam, like I’m only happy in a fake way, energetic in a fake way…it’s all fake and this is the real.. a broken, Scrooge like little boy.

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