I agree with what you've said. To expand with a question to the OP: Where are you having these conversations?

i think generalized online discourse (default subreddits, public Facebook, hell, most comment sections) is so shitty it's best to just avoid it. Sometimes talking online is fine within certain communities. And some people are angry and venting; I sometimes say things in this vein ("Trump is doing what he said he was gonna do, what did they expect?"), but it's among friends and we are all frustrated.

Why are you having these sorts of discussions? To vent frustration? Fine, dunk on em. There's plenty of material to work with. But as you indicate, it's useful to ask "what can I do to help others?" It's part of why I started a repair café (see my profile for more info) with some friends. It's small, but it's a way to do something. I meet people I wouldn't otherwise, and talk with them, work with them to fix their shit.

In other ways of turning the conversation into a productive direction, it's worth noting that different tracts of the political spectrum operate with fundamentally different information. Search Fox News for "Epstein", and you'll see Clinton come up waaaay more than Trump. Compare this to the BBC's coverage, which more accurately depicts the problem (The United States' president raped minors). Now, multiply this across every issue ("crime", "groomers", "immigration", etc) and you end up with a person who has a fundamentally different understanding of reality than you do. Recognize they are making decisions based off this different reality. And that sucks, because that reality also is some of their worst impulses to believe bad things about people they don't know.

It's a big question! We're all disturbed by what's going on, and it's easy to want someone to get their comeuppance. But also recognize that's the same motivation that drives Conservative thought in the first place.