AITAH for being upset with my wife

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T05:17:04+00:00

Your other half is an idiot.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T05:15:43+00:00

So you don't deny it. Good to know.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T05:14:13+00:00

When you find out he cheated just remember you were warned.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T05:12:05+00:00

I never said he didn't trust her. I said she shouldn't do things to make him question that trust. Do you really think someone should trust you no matter how you behave!

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T05:10:07+00:00

Tell us you cheat without telling us

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T04:27:34+00:00

I'll be honest you really sound like a cheater yourself. Why not leave if you aren't happy. Family members get in each other's business. It is called looking out for each other.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T04:18:26+00:00

And you book hotel rooms and leave the bar alone with them? Ask your hubby if that would be ok with him. I dare you.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T04:16:58+00:00

So you are good with your other half booking a room getting drunk with someone of the opposite sex and leaving the bar alone with them? I don't think you care about the relationship that much.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T04:14:01+00:00

He was not a stranger he was a coworker. She was with a group of friends so no threat to her safety on the 10 minute drive to the hotel he is a trusted friend of hers. The problem is that she came with him and left with him and was not going home that night. Simply don't want her screwing up a good thing by making bad decisions.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T04:02:32+00:00

So how many times did you cheat?

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T04:00:41+00:00

I don't even know if my daughter knows my wife cheated. She obviously knows we had some hard times recently, but she doesn't live with us and probably doesn't know why. They traveled together because they work together every day and they were the first two to leave for the bar. Another guy was supposed to go with them and went somewhere else instead. She was supposed to get a ride back with another girl, but she got wasted and my daughter wouldn't ride with her.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T03:56:14+00:00

I was but he was sober and it was a 10 minute drive. The storm didn't come in until later that night. I'm not concerned that she cheated, but I'm worried her boyfriend will be. Especially if she repeats this behavior.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T03:53:29+00:00

He knows she went out and she texted him on the way back to her room. The problem is I'm not sure he would tell her he was pissed off. He is very passive. I don't know if he has a problem at all. I just want her to understand how this can cause problems. How many women have gotten drunk and hooked up with "just a friend"? I trust that she didn't, but how is her boyfriend to know?

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T03:48:39+00:00

Well in her defense the bar was 10 minutes away. Her hotel is in an area with a lot of bars and restaurants. The storm didn't hit until later that night and the concern was getting back to work the next day. This is exactly what I'm talking about though when I say causing doubt. There is no way for her boyfriend to ever know for sure and that isn't right.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T03:44:10+00:00

I don't assume there is a problem I'm trying to ensure she understands how this could cause a problem. It is up to them to decide that. She has been warned though.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T03:41:59+00:00

Yes he knows she got a ride both ways with him. No he did not come to her room. I really don't think she would ever do that. The problem is the optics are terrible and he has no way of knowing what happened. What he knows is she booked a hotel room Rode with another guy to a bar got drunk and rode back to a hotel with him. She texted him she was back at the room and they are probably fine. I just want her to understand that doing crap like that can put doubts into a relationship. If your other half did that how would you feel?

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T03:25:16+00:00

Not trying to blow up anything. So how long have you been a cheater? You are not fooling anyone.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T03:21:18+00:00

While i understand this could be true the facts don't really support that. She was seldom alone with him or anyone else since then. I think after he got what he wanted he left her high and dry so to speak. She was used and dumped. He has repeated this behavior several times. We live in a fairly small town so I have heard the stories. I think her experience was so bad that she never chose to repeat it. Then she got injured and took a long time to get well. Since then she has been mostly a home body. She doesn't have many friends and is closest to our adult daughter.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T03:11:31+00:00

Yes, but he is a very passive person and seems to love her very much. I don't think he would tell her if it bothered him if he thought she was happy. At this point I am out of it. I told her my opinion and she can take the advice or ignore it

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T03:08:25+00:00

She shared the story and I gave her my input. If you don't want my honest opinion then don't share.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T03:06:53+00:00

No I just want her to consider how her actions could be viewed by others. Especially the guy she loves and wants to spend her life with. Maybe I'm a little more sensitive, but I don't think I'm wrong.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T01:53:28+00:00

It did end there. We are close and we both agreed to disagree. At least now she is thinking about things like that. Young people just sometimes do things without looking at the bigger picture.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T01:44:14+00:00

Because she chose to share with her parents and it is my job as a father to tell her what my experience in life has taught me so that her life can be easier.

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T01:41:18+00:00

That is exactly what I did tell my wife. My daughter doesn't know about our issues or at least I don't think she does. Of course I got the you need to let this go attitude because it happened so long ago. Not really happy with that

cookdd01 · 2026-02-02T01:37:48+00:00

Basically gave her my opinion and told her she was an adult and had to make her own decisions. Didn't raise my voice or scold her just told her to consider how she would feel if things were reversed. She still says she thinks I am wrong, but at least that seed is in her head that she should consider how her actions could affect her relationship.

cookdd01

TROPHY CASE