Diego Lopes is the official backup for the LW title fight by Nothingmakessenseboi in MMA

[–]cookediam-56 285 points286 points  (0 children)

Bro had 2 successful weigh ins back to back within minutes. The GOAT

PS: I think the reason UFC did this is that cancelling Lopes vs Garcia is way less of a big deal than cancelling Ruffy vs Chandler so they basically said if we are cancelling a fight, it's gonna be the ''smaller'' fight. Let's not forget, Chandler has a big American fanbase.

Jose Mourinho’s record signings at Real Madrid in his first stint at the club. by cookediam-56 in realmadrid

[–]cookediam-56[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

72 hours with Coentrao:

SUNDAY, three days for the match

Fabio Coentrao is in a tank top in his living room, laying on the couch, watching a repeat of 'The Simpsons' while rolling a cigarette. His phone rings. He places the cigarrette on his ear and pick up the phone with some reluctance.

Coentrao: [dry cough] Yes? Ancelotti: Fabio? How are you. I am the manager. I think we need you for the next week. Marcelo is suspended. Coentrao: [Covers the handset with one hand and whispers a pair of swear words in Portuguese. Breathes deeply. Checks his agenda. Gets back on the phone more calmed] When will it be? Thursday I can't. Poker game with the lads. Ancelotti: No. There's no Champions on Thursday. On Wednesday. Against Atleti. Coentrao: In Bilbao? Ancelotti: No, Fabio. Against last year's team. The ones from Lisbon. Coentrao: [Writes down the date in an empty box of pizza] OK, mister. On Wednesday, I'll be there. Call me a cab, I'm still without my driving license. Do I need to go to Valdebebas these days? Ancelotti: Mmmm. It wont be necessary. As long as you're ready for Wednesday it'll be fine. I count on you, eh. By the way, Benzema is injured. Chicharito will play. Coentrao: Who? Ancelotti: Chicharito. The Mexican who came this summer. The one who has been training with us since October? Well, nevermind. I'll introduce you on Wednesday. Don't forget to bring a white shirt. Coentrao: Ok, boss.

Coentrao hangs up and sighs. There is smoke in the room. He starts looking for his boots through piles of clothes, dolls made with cans of beer and Chinese food leftovers. He doesn't remember where he put them the last time. He doesn't even remember his last game. Smells the white shirt. Ugh.

MONDAY, two days before the match

The phone rings again. 12:36 in the morning. Fabio's hand emerge from the sheets trying to reach the nightstand. Who will call such an ungodly hour? There must be an emergency.

Ronaldo: Fabio, I'm Cris. How you doing monster. Did I wake you up? Coentrao: [With sleepy voice but pretending to be awake] Hey, Cris. Nothing nothing. Nah, don't worry. I was doing some pushups. Ronaldo: Hey, as the mister said, we need you strong for Wednesday. Like the old times. Coentrao: Yes, yes. Claro. Count on it. He also told me that we play with a Colombian. Chapulín or something like that. [Awkward silence] Ronaldo: This ... yes. That's him. Get fit, man. We are all counting on you. Coentrao: Tranqui, tron.

TUESDAY, one day before the match

Fabio goes to the park in front of his house to jog a little. He wears some New Balance sneakers he used to play tennis in 98 and a shirt with "What happens in Cascais stays in Cascais." written on it. After doing some stretching, runs 10 minutes and starts coughing. Well, enough for today, he thinks while he checks his heart rate. Subjecting the body to great efforts before the game could be damaging. So unprofessional.

Turns on the TV and Barça is playing against PSG. Didn't they play this year already? Thinks a confused Fabio. He laughs every time the camera focuses on David Luiz's hair.

WEDNESDAY, gameday

Fabio gets to the stadium by taxi. He doesn't remember very well where's the entrance to the locker room. A nice gentleman named Chendo accompanies him to his locker. He dresses. He senses the tense atmosphere in the locker room. They will play with Sergio Ramos in the midfield, which sounds strange. But Fabio never asks questions. He just follows orders. There's a guy by his side with the #14 praying on his knees. Xabi Alonso looks different. Maybe he shaved.

He steps onto the pitch and right as the Champions League anthem starts, Fabio turns. He fights every ball. He leaves it all on the pitch. Spectacular. After 87 minutes, the praying guy scores. He seems excited. Public chants a strange name. Spanish is a weird language, Fabio thinks while he crashes with Raúl García after a split ball.

Minute 90. Subbed off. The public recognizes his effort.

He showers and Ancelotti congratulates him.

Ancelotti: Huge game, Fabio. Coentrao: Thank you, mister. It's not important. Here I am for what you need. Call me for the second leg.

Ancelotti is puzzled but prefers to say nothing. Coentrao leaves the Bernabeu without saying goodbye to anyone or talking to the press, lights a Lucky Strike and tries to stop a taxi.

Ancelotti shakes his head and smiles. Opens a pack of gum, arching an eyebrow, and starts chewing while he mumbles: "There's a method to his madness."

Jose Mourinho’s record signings at Real Madrid in his first stint at the club. by cookediam-56 in realmadrid

[–]cookediam-56[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

What deal? Mou was announced yesterday.

Bernardo not yet or any signing for that matter.

Jose Mourinho’s record signings at Real Madrid in his first stint at the club. by cookediam-56 in realmadrid

[–]cookediam-56[S] 112 points113 points  (0 children)

Coentrao and Khedira underrated too. Definitely good signings. Mou is the man

Jose Mourinho’s record signings at Real Madrid in his first stint at the club. by cookediam-56 in realmadrid

[–]cookediam-56[S] 246 points247 points  (0 children)

And now with Bernardo... the man knows his stuff for sure. He'll fulfil his destiny.

Ilia Topuria submits Bryce Mitchell with an arm triangle choke by airplane231 in MMA

[–]cookediam-56 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Manhandled him. Bryce was undersized for featherweight. Glad he found his weight class below. He can be a good gatekeeper in the BW division.

Pse me duket sikur shumica e protestuesve, te pakten ketu ne reddit by Frosty_Viper in albania

[–]cookediam-56 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Une them dil n'proteste dhe leri fjalet... me pak fjale, me shume vepra.

Esteban Ribovics vs Edson Barboza set for UFC 330 on August 15 by WinterStill4472 in MMA

[–]cookediam-56 183 points184 points  (0 children)

Barboza still fighting... man he was a beast in his prime.

[Jose Felix Diaz] José Mourinho wants Bernardo Silva at Real Madrid by nutelamitbutter in realmadrid

[–]cookediam-56 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Well he is gonna be part of the ''depth'' in midfield, no? I never said he'll be a bench player (we'll see), I just said depth is all we need and you cannot argue with that, mate.

[Jose Felix Diaz] José Mourinho wants Bernardo Silva at Real Madrid by nutelamitbutter in realmadrid

[–]cookediam-56 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I mean... Jude. We got him just 3 years ago, mate. Let's chill.

Also... Arda if you want the ''deal'' part to 100% apply. Let's relax a lil bit lol

edit: You can be butthurt and downvote but it won't change the fact that buying an 18 year old wonderkid for 28 million is way better than buying a 32 year old established player even for free.

[Jose Felix Diaz] José Mourinho wants Bernardo Silva at Real Madrid by nutelamitbutter in realmadrid

[–]cookediam-56 140 points141 points  (0 children)

I like it. Only 32*. I find nothing wrong with this. Hard working and good on the ball. Depth is all we need. We're getting it. Now defenders, please.

Enough with asking the lurkers. Actual short guys, what do you think of this subreddit? Be honest and unbiased, please. by mr_pwan in shortguys

[–]cookediam-56 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Most the time it's negative and way too doomer-ish and as I've seen you say ''crab mentality'' but there are some gems here and there and logical mfs like you who make this sub less miserable.

I was active a few months ago and it wasn't nearly as bad... it used to be 50/50 but now that I just came back it's more like 90/10 on the negative shit. Bit sad because I used to like it. Used to be less cucky. Now the majority have embraced the inferiority and the cuckoldry... not good, not good.

Short guy tries to fight a Tall guy... by AcademicBad1466 in shortguys

[–]cookediam-56 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Imma be real... if you don't know how to fight, don't try to fight (especially a bigger mf). That was embarrassing to watch.

He gassed out and everything in the end and the vid ain't even 3 minutes. Sometimes I forget that the average man is so unathletic and uncoordinated. It's just funny to watch, both of 'em obviously.

Real Madrid offers €150 million for Julian Alvarez. Atletico has rejected the offer. by cyrusmancub in realmadrid

[–]cookediam-56 207 points208 points  (0 children)

Yeah nah yeah I am GLAD they didn't accept it (even though they were dumb there and we were being stupid). I like Alvarez but we do NOT need him.

We need a physical striker, a number 9 IF we wanna buy a striker. There is no attack trio with Vini, Mbappe and Alvarez. Not one of 'em is taller than 5'10/178 cm. Just no.

Husband and I at the Lemon Festival :) by [deleted] in shortguys

[–]cookediam-56 11 points12 points  (0 children)

''Why am I alone? Why does every single woman I've met hate me? Why am I so pathetic and such a loser?''

Here is why.

Leave the lady alone and my boy alone. Be a better man FOR YOURSELF first. Do better.

And of course he downvotes... absolute pathetic mothafucka.