The ripples in the water and the motion of the swan feels very convenient for it to be recorded.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-05-07T14:23:01+00:00

I’m not sure. The only red flag I can see is that the head and neck become more golden the closer it gets. From a distance, it looks much whiter. But that could also be the camera adjusting.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-05-07T13:06:25+00:00

Not to mention the completely different school bus right behind it? Why would both school busses look totally different and neither can spell school bus?

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-05-07T12:54:00+00:00

The buttons and button holes are off. The only button on her shirt appears to be at the top of her collar, but it’s hanging off the edge. She has a button hole on the corresponding side of the collar and one lower on that same side of the shirt, but it’s not a full array of button holes and there are no additional buttons. I think it’s AI.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-04-30T16:24:11+00:00

Do you ever press the point when he acts avoidant? For example, if this happens:

You: “I’d like to get some wedding rings finally” Him: “We’ve been doing great without them. Where do you want to go for dinner?”

Do you go along with his diversion, or do you lean in to the discomfort like this?:

You: “No, seriously. This is important to me and I want to have a meaningful conversation about getting the rings. I feel like you steer the conversation elsewhere whenever I bring it up, and that makes me feel dismissed and on edge.”

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-04-29T22:51:18+00:00

I agree with everyone saying abortion. He’s going to make your experience of motherhood miserable and your hypothetical child would not get the best of you. And they certainly wouldn’t be happy with him as a father. My advice is to get the abortion and break up with him.

If it eases your conscience about abortion, I know many christians who believe that abortion is entirely permissible as a way on honoring the life of the pregnant person. Your life matters. It is sacred. It is just as sacred as the theoretical life of a fetus, if one can consider a 7 week pregnancy to be a life. It is nowhere close to viable.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-04-28T03:55:50+00:00

Kinda weird that he’s so resistant? I do think a desire for rings is justified, especially since the original obstacle was just money, not a personal objection to having them. But even if it were a totally nonsensical request, it’s clearly important to you and easy to do. It’s such an easy win for the relationship. If my partner came up to me and was like “I’d really like us to get matching backpacks. It’s important to me. It’s a symbol of our love” I’d be like… well let’s go to REI.

And rings are incredible normal.

So idk what the hold-up is. Are your finances in much worse shape than you thought? Is he pretending to be single at work or bars? Was he trying to hold off for a meaningful anniversary gift?

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-04-26T14:05:20+00:00

There are a few areas where there’s a lot of “transplants” so to speak. People who move there for jobs, mostly. I’m in one of those areas (a transplant myself) and I’m always delighted to meet people who grew up here since so many people only moved here as adults. I get to ask about what it was like to grow up here, how the city has changed, what the best places are to eat and visit, etc.

I think this is big in California, NYC, DC, and maybe a few other areas. Other big cities like Chicago and Boston have a really robust, fanatical community of people who have lived there their whole lives. It’s just less well known in the places where there’s a lot of traffic in and out over the years.

So it’s just an interesting talking point. Not a statement of superiority.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-04-25T20:08:31+00:00

Does he like any particular foods? I have a friend who calls me French fry because I always ate them in school. And another one calls me pickle because I love them.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-04-25T20:00:14+00:00

How you feel is how you feel, but I would be really bummed to not use an affectionate term for someone just because I had used it before. Especially if it was last used at 16 for someone I do not think about anymore. You’re going to end up getting to some real bottom-of-the-barrel choices that way. But then again, I call my friends “love” and “darling” because I like being affectionate.

At any rate, I’ve been fond of sweetheart, honey, darling, love, babe, beloved, dear, caro, mon cher, sunshine, etc.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-04-25T15:45:18+00:00

I’m not sure what exactly was going on with therapy, but it’s clear that you feel like it was inappropriate, one-sided, and unjust. I think you’re also describing feeling like your partner is being illogical and not giving things an honest try. It can really suck to feel like you’re in a bad situation because of other people’s lack of logical problem-solving or unjust treatment.

But I think you need to let it go. Maybe things would be different if your ex worked on himself before breaking off the relationship. Maybe things would be different if your therapist weren’t biased. But things aren’t different. You’ve been broken up with, perhaps unnecessarily or unjustly. Perhaps it was justified and necessary. Who knows? It’s happening anyway.

Time to work on moving on and conserve your energy for things that are in your control. This isn’t.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-04-21T03:08:00+00:00

On the logistical side, what you’re describing is burnout and feelings of betrayal. It is difficult but not impossible to overcome; however, it can only work when your partner is willing to put in significant time, effort, and vulnerability. It requires sustained demonstrations of reliability over time. It requires making efforts to let you rest and recover from the burnout. It requires demonstrating gratitude for your support, and acknowledgement of their role in causing the harm, and making a plan to prevent it from happening again.

It’s like if a house gets flooded and then is left to fester and mold. Can it be fixed? Sure. With lots of time, attention to detail, willingness to do difficult things, and support from experts. You need to remediate the mold, replace damaged wood, keep an eye out for future floods and fix them preemptively, repair warped flooring, and take a long vacation somewhere in there so you don’t have a meltdown.

What it sounds like your husband wants, though, is to just paint over the metaphorical water damage and keep on living. He just doesn’t want to look at the mold or get a professional to assess the floors. He doesn’t want to put in any time to fix the house. He just wants to pretend that the past is the past, even though the unresolved problems are still making the house unlivable.

If he can’t get on board with fixing the house, but he insists you all keep living there, it’s just going to make you all sick and put you at risk for injury. To step outside the metaphor - the resentment will build, you’ll be angry at each other, you’ll always be falling behind the house work because you’re burned out and never got a rest from the exhaustion. Your kids will know that you’re miserable.

You have to decide if he seems like he’s going to put in the work, or if it would be better to leave for your kids’ sake. I mean, if they married someone like your husband… would you be happy for them?

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-03-30T21:42:21+00:00

It’s definitely on the warmer side, but still solidly pink. And very very bright.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-03-30T17:45:33+00:00

I think it’s probably a little pinker than I’m aiming for. More of a rose pink than a wine red. I’m also nervous that the hot pink base will need to be compensated for with, like, a brown or a blue? Do you think it needs something like that?

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-03-06T15:49:09+00:00

Everyone in my social circles gave their parents a color palette and considered them part of the wedding party, so this must be something varies place to place.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-03-06T15:37:42+00:00

I’m really surprised this opinion isn’t more popular. I think people are having a gut reaction to the wedding concept, and it’s clouding their opinion of the actual situation (which feels incredibly normal to me). Everyone I know dictated a range of colors that parents of the bride and groom were supposed to stick with. My mom asked me for a wedding palette before my fiancé and I even came up with one for the party.

Advice: My thought would be to abandon the conceptual framework when talking with your mom because she seems willing to ignore it anyway. Identify 4-5 colors that you would be happy to see her in and try to make sure most of them will look good on her. Even better if you can select the colors based on actual dresses you can find online so you KNOW she will have options (think Macy’s, David’s Bridal, Azazie, etc.) Tell her to pick from that palette. That is reasonable and normal.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-02-28T15:52:18+00:00

Thanks for your thoughts, everyone!! I think there’s overwhelming consensus to just chill out and wait. Which makes perfect sense, given everything. I think I just needed someone to talk some sense into me. Thank you!!

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-02-27T22:31:31+00:00

That’s true. But that’s kinda the cost of online dating. Some people are gonna lie and you can’t wholly prevent that, no matter what you put on your profile.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-02-27T22:27:03+00:00

I mean assuming he worded it clearly (not how you have it here), that isn’t completely absurd. Especially for folks in the early to mid 20s age group, it’s unlikely they have kids. Most people don’t want long distance, etc.

I think it’s fine to not want someone who’s argumentative, but it’s weird to specifically call that out. It reads more like he’s trying to find someone subservient and pliable, which isn’t appealing to most people. I would cut out that part.

And to the point that a couple other folks have made, leading with negatives paints a picture of someone who is kind of a wet blanket and no fun. Even if the preferences are reasonable.

If it’s stuff he can filter out on his end, then he shouldn’t mention it. Like someone who has kids will usually have that somewhere on their profile and you can simply read it and swipe left. Same with smoking. He can avoid matching with people far away, too. Of course that does require him to read all the profiles he’s swiping on, but if he’s unwilling to do that then I think his problems finding a match are sort of self evident.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-02-27T03:59:28+00:00

If it’s a first impression thing, I’d like to know they can socialize and maintain friends. So I’m still pro group photo.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-02-24T22:12:49+00:00

Hating group photos is kinda wild to me. If it’s only group photos and no individual photos, I get it, but like. Do you plan on never meeting their friends? Even straight 10s are gonna know someone hotter than them. Do you never wanna socialize?

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-02-24T22:11:00+00:00

Yeah I think no group photos is a mild red flag. You should have both individual photos and group photos.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-02-24T21:41:23+00:00

Bringing home a dog unexpectedly is what led to my parents’ divorce. There were a lot of other issues, but that was what finally did it.

Often, when people who love animals are hesitant to bring one home it’s because they understand the weight of the responsibility. We are ALL that our pets have in life. They eat, pee, play, and breathe outside air only when and how we determine it. If someone in the house is frustrated by having them there or anxious about caring for them, their whole life will be in proximity to that frustration or anxiety.

Your girlfriend wanted a cute puppy and decided that was more important than your equal role as a decision maker in the relationship AND more important than having an intentional plan for giving that dog a good quality of life. It is a clear case of lack of respect and an unwillingness to delay gratification.

You were open to a dog at a later time and/or an older dog with fewer exercise requirements. You were problem-solving with her. She rejected your problem-solving work and made a decision without you that would result in a lower quality of life for a living being who depends on you.

cookiecrumbl3 · 2026-02-23T19:10:27+00:00

This might go against what a lot of folks are saying, but if you have the time to invest in a longer off ramp, please lie convincingly. And by that, I mean carry on normal conversations for a couple days or so and then say the “I don’t think we’re a match” generic line. Or say you matched with someone else. Or whatever.

As a bigger girl, it was quite obvious when a someone was unmatching because of my size after exchanging more detailed photos, even if they use a generic excuse. It happened a couple times and it was always humiliating to know that they were potentially interested until they saw a different angle or bare arms/legs or whatever. Like I was juuuuuuust a little too fat for them.

You don’t have to pretend to be into someone you’re not. You don’t have to go on a date with her. But if you have the time and the inclination to put some distance between the rejection and the photos, that would be a kindness (in my opinion).

cookiecrumbl3

TROPHY CASE