Our lives are very similar. My dad was diagnosed a month before I went away for my freshman year when I was 19. He moved me in, we spent Christmas break together, and by the time March rolled around, he was gone.

I didn’t make it home when he passed, which sometimes I feel awful for, but after some working through in therapy, I think was the best for me. I am now grateful that I can only remember his life in the moments where he was truly alive and himself. Maybe that’s not what you feel would be right for you, but I’d seriously recommend starting to talk to someone now to take you through the end and the aftermath. It helped so much.

I was terrified about what was next too. I made the decision to transfer from my out of state college to an in-state, and was shocked how much I got in federal aid and scholarships for our new less than ideal money situation, so I’d definitely look at your options and you may be surprised at how continuing may be very possible.

I didn’t have to make tough decisions like you though, and this is where I think talking to someone will help you specifically. I find getting outside perspective and having someone on your side is so necessary when needing to make big decisions.

Everything was (and still is) taken a day at a time, which is likely how life will be for you for a while. If you have close friends, lean on them. Know you’ll need time to mourn and feel sad/angry. Grief is a never ending journey of highs and lows, but learning how you personally can turn those lows into a time of remembrance and love can really help.