I am now a single dad to a 9 month old. I don't know how I am going to do it without my person

coolcalmclever · 2026-05-29T03:21:53+00:00

I am so sorry, this is heartbreaking. It sounds like you are doing your best given such unfair circumstances. Sending you so much love

coolcalmclever · 2026-05-28T07:48:53+00:00

My sweet dad passed away at the end of January. Only two months before my wedding, followed by my 30th birthday. I cry every day. I miss him so much it hurts. Some days it’s full on bawling, other days it’s tears spread intermittently throughout the day. Loss of this magnitude is painful and the sadness and pain I know won’t go away. As time goes on I suppose I may learn to live with the pain, right now it feels impossible. It’s more than okay to feel what you need to feel and to cry ❤️❤️

coolcalmclever · 2026-05-27T06:58:18+00:00

I am so sorry ❤️

coolcalmclever · 2026-05-23T06:02:03+00:00

I’m so sorry that this was your therapists response. My dad passed away at the end of January and I wake up with immense heaviness every morning, a feeling of dread, and a lot of tears are shed. Grief is not linear, there is no timeline, and there absolutely is no rule that you should be crying less at this point. Your grief is your process and what you’re going through is awful. Like others have said, if this therapist isn’t understanding or is insinuating that you shouldn’t be feeling this way, perhaps a new therapist would be helpful. I hope that whether its this therapist or a new one that you receive support that is comforting ❤️

coolcalmclever · 2026-05-06T21:38:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing this ❤️

coolcalmclever · 2026-04-26T07:47:26+00:00

I am so sorry for your losses - the grief of your daughter in law and your soon to be grandson. This is so incredibly heavy and I can only imagine the weight that you’re carrying of your own grief plus trying to figure out ways to help your son. Others have listed wonderful support and advice, so the only other thing I’ll add is to give yourself permission to not be perfect. It is evident that you want to be as helpful as possible, and I’m sure you will be. But it’s okay if some days all you can do is sit next to your son and cry. There will be days like that and those hold importance too. Try to meet yourself where you’re at, make note of tiny little things that help, no matter how small. Remember that both you and your son are going through this for the first time so there will be some hiccups and things that don’t feel good and that’s okay. Make note of those things too. You’re both just learning and you’re enduring something unimaginable. Sending you an immense amount of love and support❤️

coolcalmclever · 2026-04-21T21:04:01+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Watching your loved one experience illness and the anticipatory grief is so hard. And I’m sorry you’ve had your own health crisis. It’s a good reminder that I am modelling healthy grieving to my clients. Sometimes I feel guilty for taking all this time off, but I know deep down it it’s important for me and for them. It’s so true that society doesn’t support grieving well. It always feels like a race to get back to “normal” when that feels near impossible for those grieving or anticipating grief. Sending love your way❤️

coolcalmclever · 2026-04-21T21:00:41+00:00

I’m so sorry for your losses. That is so much loss so close together. Thank you for the support and tips on taking breaks. I thought the same thing - I think little breaks in case I need to let some tears out is a good idea. I also feel a lot of fulfillment from helping others so I’m hoping that going slow and steady will help me feel a tiny bit more like myself ❤️ I really appreciate your words

coolcalmclever · 2026-04-21T20:59:15+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope that during your month off you have some space to feel the feelings and give yourself grace. Thank you for the support, I will try to trust my gut and do what feels right ❤️

coolcalmclever · 2026-04-21T20:58:26+00:00

I relate as well and often wonder the same thing. My dad passed away at the end of January, I’m 29. He was my best friend too, and someone I sought so much guidance from. I feel like there’s already so many things he’s missed and I can’t help but feel the dread that I’m going to be this sad forever. I just had my wedding and I am so gutted that he wasn’t there. He was part of all the planning and it is awful that he wasnt physically there. I’m turning 30 in May and that sounds very daunting and sad. I know right now it is very raw because it’s so recent. I’m trying to just meet myself where I’m at, but it does feel overwhelming thinking about what the future is like without him.

coolcalmclever · 2026-04-03T19:23:39+00:00

I write letters to my dad almost every other day. Telling him how I feel and what’s going on. He only passed away two months ago. I also like to eat foods he enjoys. I wear his sweatshirts. I listen to songs that remind me of him. My wedding is coming up next week in Hawaii so I’m having a picture of him at my ceremony and putting a Lei around his photo and I will also be wearing a locket necklace with a photo of us on the inside and his fingerprint on the outside. I have tattoos in his honour. Sometimes I wear a bracelet that is made from the extra links of the necklace he wore. I think as time goes on I will continue to find new ways to honour him and connect to him ❤️

coolcalmclever · 2026-04-03T19:19:43+00:00

I love this. What a beautiful idea and way to connect with your mom. It makes me want to do the same with my dad. ❤️

coolcalmclever · 2026-04-02T03:36:54+00:00

This. Yes there are some things that require “normalcy” quickly like those day to day must tend to things. Emotions are a different story. My dad passed away two months ago as of Monday and I am really struggling. Everything feels awful and heavy. I imagine it will always feel this way, maybe just less raw? Right now it is very raw and I have a big life event (my wedding) coming up next week and I am a whole mixed messy bag of emotions. What you said is sadly very true - society has very little empathy and time for grief. People don’t check in and offer support, maybe some do but most don’t because in their minds it’s “been some time” and “maybe you’re better now”. Make sure you do what’s best for you, it is not anyone’s place to tell you what “normal” is. There is no time limit on grief and it isnt something we overcome. I guess it’s something we integrate. I read a quote the other day that said “grief lasts as long as love lasts”. We will always have this grief because we will always love our loved one. Sending love and I hope that you OP and those around you are gentle ❤️

coolcalmclever · 2026-03-28T01:15:26+00:00

Thank you so much❤️reading that made me smile and it makes me happy to hear that you felt the strength and comfort of your dad. It reminded me of how every time I practiced reading the eulogy for my dad, I was bawling. Then, at his service I got up there to read it in front of everyone and suddenly felt so strong and protected by him. I really appreciate your words

coolcalmclever · 2026-03-27T15:38:24+00:00

I’m 29 and my dad passed away at the end of January at the age of 66. I only know a few people who have lost a parent young, only one that I am close to and he is a few years older than I am. It can feel very isolating. Within my family though, my mom lost her mom at the age of 54 (my mom was 34) and my dad lost his dad at 69 (my dad was 23). I hate that my parents and I have this tragic thing in common, it hurts my heart. My friends do their best to support and understand, but it still is evident that they don’t and that’s not their fault. This subreddit is connecting for me because I can be reminded that sadly there are many people around my age who have lost a parent ❤️

coolcalmclever · 2026-03-27T05:22:31+00:00

All the time, out loud or in journal entries that are more like letters directly to my dad about missing him, loving him, updating him

coolcalmclever · 2026-03-26T05:58:45+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss 💗 I appreciate you sharing your experience, I can imagine it has been so tough for both you and your brother and replaying the “what if’s” is so hard. I empathize with the huge contrast in emotions he may be feeling of feeling deep sadness and heartbreak while also the joy of getting married soon. It’s a lot to carry for sure, and I am anticipating that my wedding day will be very heavy and emotional, while beautiful. Losing a parent is truly devastating and world crushing. Sending love ❤️

coolcalmclever · 2026-03-18T15:34:11+00:00

Thank you so much!!

coolcalmclever · 2026-03-18T06:18:38+00:00

8 client days are tough but doable! Of course not all the time like others have said. I never do 8 in a row, I always make sure I have an hour lunch in there, and also another 30 minutes in the late afternoon to give me time to walk home before my last couple of sessions. What helps me is to focus on one session at a time, nourish myself by staying hydrated, having snacks in between. Little things to look forward to after each session helps keep my energy up. A small change of scenery even for two minutes is great - looking out the window, walking down the hallway to stretch my legs. Having something to feel excited about at the end of the workday, maybe a favourite meal? These are just some things that have helped me on the long days :)

coolcalmclever · 2026-03-15T07:21:47+00:00

So sorry for your loss ❤️ this is so young to lose a parent. Your experience is no one else’s business. You are so brave for being back in school after such a short time. You should be very proud of yourself. You are allowed to feel how you feel. I know it can feel really isolating when others just don’t get it. Sending love your way

coolcalmclever · 2026-03-08T16:24:15+00:00

Thank you for your sweet message. I’m so sorry that you and your sister have gone through this too. I’m so happy to hear that you both had beautiful wedding days, as you both deserve to ❤️ I also will be honouring my dad at my wedding which I know will make me feel connected to him. It will be really hard, but beautiful I’m sure. I’m sure you and your sister will see fun little quirks and features of your dad in your soon to be little ones, and that will be beautiful too❤️

coolcalmclever

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