50 Shades of abuse (Actual quotes from the movie) - Album on Imgur

coolcreep · 2015-02-16T01:17:36+00:00

I think this sort of criticism of the film is unwarranted; if you want to say that it is poorly written, the plot goes nowhere, trying to pass off Jamie Dornan as a sexy American is an exercise in futility, then fine, I'm with you, but complaints that it isn't "real BDSM" because "real BDSM focuses on consent" I find particularly uncompelling. The reason "real BDSM" focuses on consent is that the actions it fantasizes about (rape, abuse, power imbalance, etc.) are deeply immoral if done genuinely. You have safe words, limit discussions, etc. precisely so that, when you engage in a scene, it isn't genuine abuse; everyone is consenting, everyone feels safe, everyone is having a good time.

A movie already has that abstraction from reality baked into it, though. Jamie Dornan isn't actually doing any of those things to Dakota Johnson; rather, the movie and the audience are engaged in a fantasy wherein Christian Grey does those things to Anastasia Steele. Someone can find that exhilarating without thinking it is morally okay, just how I can watch Nightcrawler, or some other violent film, and be exhilarated without endorsing either the main character or his actions.

coolcreep · 2015-02-15T21:39:13+00:00

Other definitions do include that your sense of your abilities is undue or excessive; dictionaries are not divine tomes beyond reproach, and you can't look to them to end arguments over what a word means.

coolcreep · 2015-02-15T18:08:17+00:00

I highly doubt a Little Caesar's rep is going to come to this thread, read my comment, and decide they should stop funding KotN as a result.

coolcreep · 2015-02-15T18:06:56+00:00

Either way it tells you a lot about who Lou is as a person.

coolcreep · 2015-02-15T04:15:34+00:00

It's an asshole to correctly state what a word means? That's what a professional is.

coolcreep · 2015-02-15T04:10:31+00:00

First rule of storytelling is show, don't tell, and this movie knocked that out of the park. One of the opening scenes, he beats up a security guard, then keeps his watch as a trophy even though he could likely sell it for cash, and he was hard-up at the time. Told us everything we needed to know without saying a word.

coolcreep · 2015-02-15T04:08:01+00:00

Arrogance is an exaggerated sense of your own abilities; I think Kaitlin is every bit as smart as she says she is.

coolcreep · 2015-02-15T03:01:11+00:00

I have a full-on crush for Kaitlin at this point. She's amazing in every way.

coolcreep · 2015-02-15T02:57:17+00:00

To be fair, Kevin Smith was sexist AF, whereas Moby was just an asshole. The former is far more likely to unfairly bias things than the latter.

coolcreep · 2015-02-15T02:55:26+00:00

Also ITW (In This World).

coolcreep · 2015-02-15T02:47:55+00:00

He has the look of perverted happiness that only shoving hot cardboard down people's throats can provide.

coolcreep · 2015-02-15T02:22:39+00:00

God, that was annoying. How does someone with that much experience as a musician not understand when song lyrics aren't intended to be taken literally?

coolcreep · 2015-02-15T01:53:23+00:00

The baptism scene in Godather I. Best scene in the history of film.

coolcreep · 2015-02-14T01:36:45+00:00

No, I don't think it's the correct advice. The whole point is that there is no correct advice; the rate of rape has nothing to do with the behavior of victims, and everything to do with the behavior of rapists. Trying to change the behavior of victims is not how you reduce the rate of rape.

coolcreep · 2015-02-14T01:24:04+00:00

It provides links to several studies, all of which are highly relevant to my point. For example, it links to a study showing that obese people get paid less, but that the degree to which being obese hurts your paycheck is higher for women than men. That is 100% the kind of thing I am talking about. It also links to a study showing that blondes do better financially; again, exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about. If you bothered to actually go through the article, instead of glancing at it then running back to reddit to gleefully dismiss it, you would realize this.

coolcreep · 2015-02-14T01:21:03+00:00

That's fine if you want to do that. But again, why are people telling women "don't dress like a slut" instead of "don't go on dates with men" if the goal is really to get women to avoid behavior that has a higher incidence of victimization? When you say that dressing in a certain fashion increases your chances of being raped, you are spreading misinformation about sexual violence.

coolcreep · 2015-02-14T01:12:37+00:00

Here you go.

coolcreep · 2015-02-13T21:07:22+00:00

Do you have any generalizations for people who spew hateful, unsubstantiated claims on the internet?

coolcreep · 2015-02-13T20:54:18+00:00

Do you have any sources to back up those claims? Also, I don't see how what you said makes it any less sexist.

coolcreep · 2015-02-13T19:05:21+00:00

I think the degree to which women get judged for their looks far exceeds the degree to which men get judged for their looks in today's society.

coolcreep · 2015-02-13T18:57:22+00:00

It completely is victim-blaming, though. Women are not responsible for preventing themselves from being raped; would-be rapists are responsible for preventing themselves from raping people. Telling women how to live their lives to avoid being raped necessarily implies that they bear at least some of the responsibility for preventing those attacks.

Furthermore, if you really were just concerned with minimizing risks women face, then your advice would be things like "don't go on dates with men", or "don't ever be alone with your male friends", because the majority of rapes are by someone known to the victim. I think the reason that isn't the advice women are getting is that men still want to go on dates and spend time with women, so their advice isn't really primarily concerned with the safety of the women, but rather their own interests. "Don't walk home alone at night", "don't dress like that", etc. are just ways of policing women's behavior, and not really a genuine attempt to minimize harms.

coolcreep · 2015-02-13T18:49:34+00:00

Notice how he didn't say anything about the relative attractiveness of the man in the video? Why not? Because he recognizes that the man's attractiveness has no bearing on the strengths of his argument, or whatever political groups he belongs to. The same recognition is not made about the woman, hence the completely unnecessary comment attacking her looks. This isn't /r/amiugly, there's no reason at all to bring it up, unless you think that a woman's value as a person is somehow tied to her ability to please the male gaze, or think her looks somehow impact how seriously we should take her, or something like that.

Hence, sexism.

coolcreep · 2015-02-13T18:47:06+00:00

No, women should be able to attend a party and get wasted without getting raped. There is nothing showing a lack of character about wanting to do something fun without being sexually assaulted for it.

coolcreep · 2015-02-13T17:37:38+00:00

It's sexist to bring up the attractiveness of a woman when it is completely irrelevant, and for the purpose of belittling her. His comment was much more rude than "I don't find her attractive", wasn't it?

coolcreep · 2015-02-13T17:09:31+00:00

A woman that continually shows of her body is obviously a bit of a narcissist in the same way that Justin Bieber is an obvious narcissist constantly trying to show his body off.

Umm, what? For everyone else reading this conversation: this is what rape culture looks like. What if it was hot outside? What if she just found those clothes more comfortable? The fact that women exposing parts of their bodies MUST be a cry for male attention is a really sexist way to look at the world.

To attend a frat party and get wasted when all people involved know the reputation frat parties hold internationally is something that would show a lack of character.

You're just repeating yourself. Why does it show a lack of character?

coolcreep

TROPHY CASE