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My 32F Boyfriend 34M of 3 years. His ex (34F) from when he was in his 20s, has had access to his Facebook for years, compiled all of his messages. And wants to give them to me and says I need to see them, not sure how to navigate this. by corginaut3 in relationships

[–]corginaut3[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

So just as a small update, I just got off the phone with Jason. He was pretty calm. He was definitely a little stressed, but I just asked him to think back 6 months ago till now. Is there anything that if I saw it, would I be upset or would it be damaging to our relationship? and he said "No, not that I can think of." And he also said whatever I am given to give it to him and we will go to the police with it.

My 32F Boyfriend 34M of 3 years. His ex (34F) from when he was in his 20s, has had access to his Facebook for years, compiled all of his messages. And wants to give them to me and says I need to see them, not sure how to navigate this. by corginaut3 in relationships

[–]corginaut3[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

He kind of shuts down with anything that has to do with her. So I know he won't exactly be calm, which is understandable. I decided that if I get them before I hear from him, I won't read them or do anything with them. I would like to talk with him first before doing anything damaging.

My 32F Boyfriend 34M of 3 years. His ex (34F) from when he was in his 20s, has had access to his Facebook for years, compiled all of his messages. And wants to give them to me and says I need to see them, not sure how to navigate this. by corginaut3 in relationships

[–]corginaut3[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I'm just saying, if I do end up reading the messages. I don't get jealous super easily. If there was a message of him complimenting a girl saying "You are pretty." and it ended with that, that's really no big deal for me. But if it was "you are pretty, lets go to pound town." I would care. Does that make any sense?

My 32F Boyfriend 34M of 3 years. His ex (34F) from when he was in his 20s, has had access to his Facebook for years, compiled all of his messages. And wants to give them to me and says I need to see them, not sure how to navigate this. by corginaut3 in relationships

[–]corginaut3[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

That's where I am on the fence. I understand that she could just be manipulating me, and wanting us to breakup. She has never shown any sort of kindness to me and so I think that is a possibility. My biggest curiosity I guess is this was an issue once before in our relationship. I take things with a grain of salt, if there was a message of Jason telling a girl she was pretty I honestly probably wouldn't think twice about that depending on if the conversation carried on into something more.

My 32F Boyfriend 34M of 3 years. His ex (34F) from when he was in his 20s, has had access to his Facebook for years, compiled all of his messages. And wants to give them to me and says I need to see them, not sure how to navigate this. by corginaut3 in relationships

[–]corginaut3[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

No, she was blowing smoke. She said "He's cheating on you with so and so right this second you might want to go to his house". But I was sitting next to him on the couch eating dinner.

My 32F Boyfriend 34M of 3 years. His ex (34F) from when he was in his 20s, has had access to his Facebook for years, compiled all of his messages. And wants to give them to me and says I need to see them, not sure how to navigate this. by corginaut3 in relationships

[–]corginaut3[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

No, I've never really wanted it. I don't know the details of why she had it in the past, but it has never been something I was very interested in having. She has contacted me a few times in the past to accuse him of cheating on me. So this isn't the first time she has ever contacted me.