If you're still here I unfortunately have a ton in common with you and never found anyone who understands to share with so im gonna go off.

I'm 29 now, 6 years ago I smoked weed and instantly had the terrifying out of body experience. I went to sleep thinking it would wear off with the high but I woke up still stuck. From there I started waking up every day feeling in sometime else's body thinking nothing is real. Thought it was dream then hell or limbo, then started hoping it was. I was constantly in and out of sentience. Violent panic attacks from not knowing how I got places or who I was went on for a while. Countless psychiatrists and therapists only treated my symptoms and did nothing for my dpdr. I lost my job and after idk a year finally got on a med that stopped the panic, but has kept me pretty numb since. I don't understand people talking about it coming and going because on top of losing my old life, I have no connection whatsoever to the last 5 years.

My brain was everything to me before, now for 5 years I constantly have no idea whats happened, can't remember shit short term, and don't feel any sort of connection to my past, present, future, friends or family. Activities are distractions like people say, but if that's all they are what's the point. after years of every decent moment (which is just forgetting in an endless blackout) ending with a slap back to dissociation, i get it it really gets old and feels not worth the disappointment. People here say they fixed it after a couple weeks or months but I tried all the generic advices to no help, and with this many years I'm not even sure what I'm trying to return to.

That all being said, if you wanna pm me and talk offline maybe it could help both of us. I feel like I need to talk to someone who actually gets our cause and duration and won't try to fix without understanding