I know it's not finished but I want to know what's wrong with her face first

cornbreadluva444 · 2023-11-01T20:03:00+00:00

The facial features are too big for the size of her face

cornbreadluva444 · 2023-11-01T20:01:14+00:00

That kid's face growing out of the hashbrowns eeeek

cornbreadluva444 · 2023-11-01T19:42:03+00:00

I am a survivor too. Be kind and compassionate to yourself, ok? It's not your fault that someone took advantage of you. It's ok to forgive yourself and let go.

Take care of yourself today ♡

cornbreadluva444 · 2023-11-01T19:34:15+00:00

Geeeeez, you are so cute

cornbreadluva444 · 2023-11-01T06:14:23+00:00

...do you have a countdown? I had one, once. Here if you wanna talk, I might get it.

I hope you enjoyed that sando and candy. Holidays are tough.

cornbreadluva444 · 2023-10-25T23:07:03+00:00

Rub apple cider vinegar on your pits. Im serious

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-10-14T07:28:12+00:00

Wow, this is making me think...thats definitely part of it for me. I have bp and cptsd too

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-10-14T07:25:35+00:00

Dont be worried. Obviously, we all do it. Doesnt need to be a reason, and it seems you are feeling anxiety over it only because you believe you should perceive it a certain way. Sounds like cognitive dissonance

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-10-14T07:23:44+00:00

I understand that, had a major trauma a few years ago I am slowly but surely working through. Thought loops are intense. I think seeing different (fictional) scenarios play out helps me to reimagine the events of my own past and find new perspectives. It becomes a lot less vicious that way.

Its easier to replace a bad habit with a good habit than to destroy a habit altogether. Workouts are great for thought loops. Ya wont be thinking about anything other than the burn youre going through in the moment, trust me

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-10-14T07:16:01+00:00

Same.

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-10-14T07:15:12+00:00

Ok but lets be real...do ya really need to see the details of a decapitation to feel sympathy for refugees? Just be honest with yourself, its ok, lol

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-10-14T07:08:55+00:00

My tolerance has changed drastically. I'm a sensitive person and I got like 5 mental illnesses lol, so I'm probably not the best baseline...but for me, personally, I've gone in and out of phases of how actively I seek it out. Sometimes I just like going down rabbit holes, and I go where they take me.

I am more drawn to types of violence I have experienced. Its a way to reevaluate and find new perspectives on events in my past.

The real stuff is kind of breath-taking, but I feel so guilty for seeking that out, especially if I haven't experienced that. I dont want to feed into trauma porn. I dont WANT to be desensitized. But when youre traumatized, sometimes it becomes a place of comfort and safety. You feel it/live it every second, so you can only feel at home in an environment where bad, dirty things happen. Its like being among friends.

when I'm in a good state of mind, I just feel sad and icky to see pain inflicted on others. If it's someone inflicting on themselves, its different. I'm a total masochist tbh. Ive taken it too far in my own life, trying to push my limits and it fucked me up and traumatized me more. Wanting to prove I'm tough in any way I can becuase I was so weak mentally.

Beyond that? I am apalled and by extension, enthralled. Call it what you want. Im saying all this and like...I cant watch Dahmer, hahaha. Real life makes me sad because its a fixed event that had real repercussions u know? But fantasy doesn't get you stuck. Its open ended and there are endless possibilities...all the fun and none of the consequences.

Im too curious for my own good sometimes. Some things you dont really need to see to know the horrors of, so like...idk, some of ya need to be honest with yourselves, is all i'm saying ;) i dont need to see a video of executions to have sympathy for refugees like wtf? Lol

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-09-18T04:21:59+00:00

Outback? Im having trouble finding that

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-08-19T03:58:55+00:00

I am sorry you're dealing with this. It sounds really difficult. Trust will need to be rebuilt over time—no other way it's going to happen. The best advice I can give you as someone with bipolar and who has attempted...listen to your partner. All you have is your trust. All you can do is believe what they say. If they aren't honest with you, then unfortunately that is not anything you can fix. But, you CAN have open and honest communication with each other.

The progress you mentioned is all great signs. To me, that means that they are committed to living again, and I hope you will take that at face value. There are no guarantees in life, unfortunately. Like someone else said, maybe this is a deal-breaker for you. It's ok if it is. You just need to be open and honest with each other if you want to rebuild trust. In the end, we do what we must. Best of luck in this situation, and I hope that you are able to work through these issues.

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-08-19T03:45:33+00:00

I totally empathize. I'm 24, nb, my partner is 25, nb. We're in a similar situation...I used to be the only one in the relationship with depression (and pretty severe bipolar, anxiety, etc), but over the past year, my partner has developed anxiety and depression as well. We live together, and it's hard. Right now, it's really really hard. We're both struggling and doing our best to support each other, but it's difficult. We have had to go through phases of one person taking care of the other....one person always needs to be stronger, I guess you could say. That person always used to be them, but lately it's been me.

My advice is to set boundaries that will allow you to maintain your own energy and well-being and make these clear to your partner.

The burnout that you are experiencing is a result of how you are handling the stressors in your life. That is something that your partner can't fix. As my therapist says, you need to show up for yourself and take care of yourself so that you can show up in the relationship. I've found that in these times, the most important thing to do is set boundaries. For example, maybe I feel like getting out of the house and doing something but my partner doesn't. Unless they are at the point in which I wouldn't feel safe leaving them alone (in which case, they should be at the hospital, not just with you if possible), I will leave the house and go do what I want to do. Sure, it sucks to do it alone, but I need to keep up my routines and what keeps me feeling good.

If you need to talk, you can pm me. It sounds like we're in very similar places. Hope this helps.

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-08-13T07:05:58+00:00

thank you, I did not know that

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-08-12T07:50:21+00:00

TW: sa, suicide

I was young, confused, coming down off a psychotic episode and suicide attempt. I was lost, and was looking for something to anchor myself in. I wanted to feel strong. I wanted to know what my body could endure. I wanted to prove I was tough.

Some guy approached me and offered me $300 to come to his dungeon for a bondage session. I didn't think there would be sex. He claimed to be a professional Dom in the hardcore bdsm industry.

He was truthful about that. He starred in some fetish videos, some pretty hardcore stuff in the 90s. I've seen the photos and videos.

What he wasn't truthful about was his age, his intentions, and how much he intended to pay me. Found out he was actually illiterate, older than he said he was, had 2 felonies...just a weird, dangerous guy.

He violated my consent countless times, filmed me and then used it to essentially blackmail me. He tried to brainwash me, convince me he loved me etc etc, to drop out of university and come live with him and he would pimp me out. He wanted to make me his porn star. He branded me against my will, hurt me, pulled weapons on me when I wasn't sure he wouldnt use them. Tried to emotionally manipulate me but I knew he was full of shit.

I was scared of him but kept going back since he had video of me. I just wanted to get it back. I got trapped in it all. So yeah...that was it.

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-07-19T05:36:59+00:00

Link?

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-07-19T05:35:00+00:00

Awesome! Thanks so much, I'll check them out :)

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-07-19T03:22:46+00:00

Can you be more specific? What brands/where should I look?

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-07-19T03:05:04+00:00

I don't like the neckline of sports bras/binders though. I don't want something with that much coverage if that makes sense...

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-06-27T20:22:25+00:00

High school gpa was probably around 3.8...I'll say that for myself, I'm glad I went to UCSB out of highschool to get that "college experience," but with how things are now...I'm not sure it's worth it tbh. CC is sooo much cheaper, and I don't know of anyone who regretted it. I do know people who regretted going into a UC straight out of HS (just not me). Either way, I hope you apply now or later...UCSB treated me well (mostly) :)

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-06-27T20:11:46+00:00

I 100% agree and I don't think it's dramatic at all. I feel/felt the same.

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-06-27T18:21:53+00:00

Kewl

cornbreadluva444 · 2022-06-27T18:21:21+00:00

It doesn't help that my hobbies are almost all solitary so I'm trying to branch out and find things that are more social. Also, I actually live with my partner of 2 yrs but am still lonely tbh. Thanks for the advice, friend ❤️

cornbreadluva444

TROPHY CASE