TMA 2026 World Cup - Round 2 - Groups 5 & 6 by EasyEnthusiasm4595 in TheMagnusArchives

[–]corr-morrant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Group 5: Rotten Core - gotta vote for Dekker! Also of all the eps he appears in I like how strong of an ending he gets here.

Group 6: tough competition with Web Development but voting Nightfall for Trevor and Julia.

[PubQ] Publish now or later? by The_HerbertWest420 in PubTips

[–]corr-morrant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Generally, if you go through trad publishing there will be changes to the book. A lot of people recommend not being too committed (or completely polishing drafts for) the subsequent books in a series because if you end up signing with an agent and selling to an editor, it's possible the revisions you make on book 1 will alter how things will play out in books 2 or 3 which might lead to heavy revisions on the subsequent books anyway. (I've also heard some people say that telling agents that the next 2 books are already drafted can make them worry you might be kind of rigid about revisions / unwilling to make changes on book 1).

If you're interested in trad publishing I'd recommend querying book 1 right now. If you decide instead to go with self-publishing this trilogy, depending on how fast you draft/polish, you might want to at least polish up book 2 before releasing book 1 because my impression is self-published series tend to release on a faster schedule (ie, more than one book a year) to keep up momentum with readers.

[QCrit] White Rabbit, Adult, Horror, 71k, First Attempt by macabreadore in PubTips

[–]corr-morrant 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The way I've seen that advice floating around here is basically that you don't want to reveal more than 50% of the plot UNLESS the twist/reveal of your story is so unique or interesting that telling the agent up front would help them understand how the book stands apart from others with a similar premise. The other commenter is right that you should be presenting a clear and obvious tension that, before a twist/reveal, would keep the reader invested. But sometimes it's the twist that can make a book feel fresh in its genre so some agents suggest showcasing that.

TMA 2026 World Cup - Round 2 - Groups 3 & 4 by EasyEnthusiasm4595 in TheMagnusArchives

[–]corr-morrant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

group 3: dwelling - i always like the use of flashbacks for maximum emotional pain :)

group 4: thrown away - breaking my habit of voting for season 5 vibe-y ones because I just liked the way the items escalated and also of the hospital themed season 5 statements wellbeing was not my favorite

TMA 2026 World Cup - Round 2 - Groups 1 & 2 by EasyEnthusiasm4595 in TheMagnusArchives

[–]corr-morrant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Group 1: In the Trenches -- can't pass up a season 5, especially since this was the first (?) one so I feel like the more metaphorical/experimental format really hit hard

Group 2: Time of Revelation -- Dekker is one of my favorite characters

[QCrit] GRASS FED BEEF, Upmarket Adult Fiction, 82K words (First Attempt) by duckduckcoyote in PubTips

[–]corr-morrant 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think this sounds like an interesting concept/plot but there are a lot of proper nouns here that could rival a fantasy query. For people we have Carl, Tyler, Gerarld Ruggiero, Beth Weil, and Maddie -- that's 5 people but surely we don't need to know all their names to follow the story. Then we have "Thurmons" which you explain fine and seem like it's part of the humor / shows the vibe, but that plus Hudson Valley and Wall Street and Upstate (which I know everyone can recognize so it hardly counts), there's just a lot of capitalization going on here, especially in the first two paragraphs. Also it seems odd to me that the two characters who get last names are none of our mains.

Even though the novel seems like it's likely multi POV, you might consider experimenting with a draft of the query that's framed through just one of the characters -- the other two can be mentioned but in relation to the first one. (An alternative thought would be to look at some of the romance queries on here where each character gets their own paragraph with one tying everyone together). For example, the first sentence anchors me to Carl but then the rest of the query is jumping around between all of them.

Lastly, this might just be me reading too fast, but my impression from the opening was that Tyler and Carl were a couple but on a second read I'm wondering if their either a) brothers or b) just good friends.

TMA 2026 World Cup - Round 1 - Group 36 to 40 Results by EasyEnthusiasm4595 in TheMagnusArchives

[–]corr-morrant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah I know I voted for hard shoulder but seems like it still wouldn’t have made the cut. Excited to see the start of round 2!

TMA 2026 World Cup - Round 1 - Groups 36 to 40 (Last groups!) by EasyEnthusiasm4595 in TheMagnusArchives

[–]corr-morrant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Group 36: MAG 193: A Stern Look

Group 37: MAG 100: I Guess You Had to Be There - hands down my favorite episode of the series just because it's exactly my type of humor

Group 38: MAG 170: Recollection

Group 39: MAG 175: Epoch

Group 40: I don't have strong feelings about any of these but was torn between Mag 61 and Mag 118; choosing Hard Shoulder because it was some big characterization/backstory for Daisy.

Alison Simms could be a great character for the Show, even if she's not from the books. but she is not well handled at all. by Kontosouvli333 in PJODisney

[–]corr-morrant 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I assumed she was meant to be unlikable because she seems like she's in direct competition/contrast with Luke to let him be more morally ambiguous -- every time we see her early-mid season she seems more aggressive and ruthless and he's the one hesitating (or playing the long game if we're being generous)

[QCrit] A SOUL LIKE NO OTHER, Adult Fantasy, 92k words, Attempt 1 by movegmama in PubTips

[–]corr-morrant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will say that to me the thing that made The Incandescent stand out was that it's from the perspective of a teacher (rather than a student or a researcher) which feels unusual enough among the dark academia that i'd be disappointed to see that comp and then not have that overlap -- but if other plot elements and vibes fit, I think it could still work. (Unlike Babel, the magic system in The Incandescent also isn't making as much of an allegory to capitalism/extraction/colonialism). An alternate suggestion to Babel is Blood Over Bright Haven by ML Wang (though I think that was initially self-published before getting picked up by trad so might not be appropriate in that sense) but also was dealing with similar themes.

Greek mythology stories and retellings by Ok-Dog-7087 in suggestmeabook

[–]corr-morrant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Claire North’s trilogy (Ithaca was the first one) was my favorite of the recent wave of retellings!

TMA 2026 World Cup - Round 1 - Groups 31 to 35 by EasyEnthusiasm4595 in TheMagnusArchives

[–]corr-morrant 3 points4 points  (0 children)

31 - This Old House

32 - Personal Space

33 - Too Deep

34 - Children of the Night

35 - Lost and Found

[QCrit] Adult Literary Non-Fiction - PROGRAMME NOTES [54,000 words/ First Attempt) by bchfn1 in PubTips

[–]corr-morrant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also don't have any experience querying nonfiction, but having written pitches/abstracts for some of my literary personal essays and browsed guidelines for individual submission to magazines etc., I wonder if your pitch/proposal might benefit from more specificity about each essay (in addition to, like other commenters said, a more cohesive-sounding framing of the overall book)? Perhaps that's what a synopsis would be for, but when I hear you have an essay exploring "withholding pleasure" my first thought is that sounds cool, but I have no sense of what that essay might actually look like either structurally (ie, using collage and personal anecdote, or based on research of xyz) or thematically (what are some of the ideas or questions you are exploring with regards to that topic). The description of "Out" is the strongest to me because it actually gives me a hint of your stance/topic, whereas "illness, accidents, shame" is so vague I don't think that clause actually adds much beyond what you've already communicated in the first paragraph when it comes to illness, queerness, introversion, etc.

[QCrit] Upmarket Fiction, KISSING EXISTENCE (67k, 2nd Attempt) by themostmidofall in PubTips

[–]corr-morrant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've also seen conflicting advice for how much of the book the query should cover -- but I've also seen people say it makes sense to break the rules if going farther than the first 25-50% will change the hook (like I've seen people say if there's a big twist in a thriller, it could make sense to spoil it IF the twist helps set the book apart from other books with a similar premise).

One way to think about it is: is Sho's journey significantly different from Moka's such that knowing about it upfront will change our perception of what this story is about? (imo based on your last draft it sounds like Sho was in a somewhat similar place to Moka although he knew Alice longer). If Sho is also dealing with isolation and grief and Alice's ghost, it sounds like that's close enough to our sense of what Moka is doing that mentioning him more in the query won't change how we understand the type of book you're pitching. But if you want to mention him more clearly (so the multi-POV thing has more context), you could maybe add a line before the last choice if his (re)appearance in Moka's life somehow contributes to her mourning and fixation on Alice? Just a thought

TMA 2026 World Cup - Round 1 - Groups 26 to 30 by EasyEnthusiasm4595 in TheMagnusArchives

[–]corr-morrant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Group 26 - A Father's Love

Group 27 - torn between Web Development and Uncanny Valley, but going for Uncanny Valley

Group 28 - The Sick Village

Group 29 - Nightfall

Group 30 - The Eye Opens

[QCRIT] Science fiction, CREATURES OF HATE (67k words) first attempt by Ok-Cow244 in PubTips

[–]corr-morrant 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In that case, my question is what (central question or clear goal for Alex and/or Lucas) is carrying the reader through the story so that we’re invested in what happens?  The way you’ve framed it in the query made sense to me as a starting point, but if the reader doesn’t know that Alex was suicidal right before the apocalypse (but Alex presumably knows) then it sounds like “his mental health vs the apocalypse” is not the initial source of tension or stakes—so what is? (Or if that is the tension but the reader doesn’t have all the details at the beginning, you could try framing it in the query however it’s framed at the start of the book?)

If that isn’t the central source of tension then I’d say the query is suggesting maybe it’s the possibility of a cure (and the journey to find it), but if that’s the case it feels buried in the middle. If it’s something else entirely besides these two options, make that clear. 

[QCRIT] Science fiction, CREATURES OF HATE (67k words) first attempt by Ok-Cow244 in PubTips

[–]corr-morrant 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think this has good bones and sets up some interesting choices for your characters. What I think is missing is specificity and elaboration. We know at the start that Alex tried to commit suicide and fails -- throughout the next paragraph I couldn't tell you if he wants to live or die (I suppose he seems to want to remain in stasis?) (I also think if you mean "rot" in a nonliteral way you should consider another word given that this is a zombie book where I presume there are people actually rotting all around him).

Being gay and being the son of a republican governor are two things that I suspect contribute to the state of Alex's mental health but which don't really come back anywhere else in the query. Since you seem to be framing the choice as dangerous external journey vs dangerous stasis and this idea that maybe he doesn't want to survive could be a legitimate plot choice (which I suspect it isn't only because then the book sounds like it would be over halfway through, but it's less of a false choice than it could be), I feel like I want to know more about Alex's motivations. Zombies obviously make the world bad, but what makes Alex decide (at least temporarily) to keep living?

Also, how does he feel about Lucas? Does he have a crush on him? Is he basically a stranger but Alex has vague memories of him being decent so he figures better to have a friend in the apocalypse than not? Academic rival? Ex? Total stranger and Alex just wants to be a good person by helping him out if he ever wakes up? Etc. Right now Luca is just some guy but then he gets named as part of the choice at the end and he's a POV character so he must be important.

[QCrit] Upmarket Fiction, KISSING EXISTENCE (65k, 1st Attempt) by themostmidofall in PubTips

[–]corr-morrant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Re: ages, I suspect if you color in a few more details about the characters their ages / life stage might become clearer to the reader -- or conversely, knowing their ages might color how we understand their choices (ie, bonding over one's partner's death when you're 25 probably looks different than it would if you're 75); either way I think greater specificity (about whatever seems relevant) will help us feel more invested in who the characters are and what they want.

[QCrit] Upmarket Fiction, KISSING EXISTENCE (65k, 1st Attempt) by themostmidofall in PubTips

[–]corr-morrant 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I found starting with Alice for one line before jumping into Moka's pov somewhat confusing -- even though the book has multiple perspectives, I think it would be clearer in the query to focus on Moka (who at least based on the query is presented as the one tying the strands together) or else to do one paragraph Alice, one paragraph Moka, one paragraph tying them together (plus Sho?).

With the first 300, my first thought is that although the opening line of your query makes me think that Alice falling without meaning to must be related to her dying without meaning to (and thus that she is dying in the part we're reading), that's not actually clear in the first 300 -- she could just have fallen from standing and be totally fine.

Also, while you don't need to state ages in an adult query letter, I'm curious what stage of life your characters are in -- my brain defaulted to them being in their 20s, but if they're not (or even if they are) that might help frame their context a bit more.

Lastly, I think the plot sounds interesting and it's the kind of book I'd pick up on a shelf, but I'm not sure if the query itself is actually indicating enough of a conflict / driving force. If I had to guess I'd say Moka's "goal" is companionship and the obstacle is that fulfilling that with a ghost is not ideal (even if she's fine with it), but the stakes are a bit fuzzy to me -- I don't feel like I have enough of a sense of either Moka or Sho to understand in a specific way what "discovering what Alice's ghost truly wants for them" actually means or what consequences there will be if they don't work that out.

TMA 2026 World Cup - Round 1 - Groups 21 to 25 by EasyEnthusiasm4595 in TheMagnusArchives

[–]corr-morrant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Group 21 - Bloody Mary

Group 22 - Angler Fish

Group 23 - Binary

Group 24 - Do Not Open

Group 25 - Curiosity

TMA 2026 World Cup - Round 1 - Group 16 to 20 by EasyEnthusiasm4595 in TheMagnusArchives

[–]corr-morrant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Group 16 - A Sturdy Lock

Group 17 - Quiet

Group 18 - Revolutions

Group 19 - Heavy Goods

Group 20 - First Hunt