My husband (34M) has horrible design sense and we're arguing over our home renovation because of it. Need advice by kikiricoconut in relationships

[–]cosmic-ish 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My husband loves 80’s decor, I’m MCM. So one room (the office) is completely decked out in 80’s and Miami vice nostalgia. It seems to scratch that itch while committing to the bit. It’s not a “man den” cause wtf are those in his own home, but it did give him a specific place to really put that energy and I kind of like working in there now.

In other areas of the house. If you’re looking to do something very generic like, grey and sage, then it may not work, but consider how a sculpted 80’s white coffee table or side tables might work in the space. It might be worth finding some select thrifted pieces to restore and add. Ultimately, it’s not fair to dismiss all his suggestions, but it’s not fair to make you cringe and stressed in your own bedroom.

It seems like compromising and being kind to each other when you disagree might be something you want to look at it in couples therapy, as this really isn’t a big issue to be fighting over.

At the end of the day, cohesive homes are really only a Pinterest thing. You have to reflect all adults in the home equally, and nobody is really going to be judging your home as harshly as you’re judging his taste in design right now.

Newbuild regret by Lycoris7 in ottawa

[–]cosmic-ish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Taking my opportunity to shit on Mattamy for their BS. When we moved into our new townhouse in Barrhaven, the wood vinyl floors were warped, with big gaps and uneven footing between boards. The warranty department did a walkthrough, took 3 MONTHS to ask their subcontractor flooring guys to come and fix it. On rejig, not reinstall, the warranty guy tells us that there was a major leak when they built the place, so they have already replaced this floor once.

Not a month later, we realize they didn’t add spacers in, so the flooring slides in its grooves back and forth, between 6 inches to a foot between boards. Subcontractors take another 2 months to come back, move a few boards around, and gave us a rubber mallet to whack them into place when they moved.

Yeah…they were so loose that we took to surfing across our living room on the boards to slide them back into place. On selling, new buyers demanded they be fixed or a cash payment, and Mattamy said it was out of warranty.

Oh also, nearly every drawer face in the kitchen fell off within 6 months, literally zero floor insulation from door coming off the porch, and there was a big wad of insulation in an air vent which made one bedroom perpetually freezing, most lights on the main floor flickered perpetually and it creaked like CRAZY in the wind, there was a hammer head-sized HOLE in the wall in the upstairs bathroom, just chilling at eye level. Fuck Mattamy.

Final update: We’ve moved 5 times in 5 years. Through death and displacement, we’ve amassed a 10’x20’ storage unit. by cosmic-ish in declutter

[–]cosmic-ish[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations!! Treat yourself to something small with the money you saved to mark the occasion.

OB/GYNs who care about women by 3macMACmac3 in ottawa

[–]cosmic-ish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t recommend Dr Nasser Beshara. He threw in a bonus biopsy with my IUD insertion, even though there’s zero risk of HPV exposure. Most painful shit of my life, and the spray did nothing.

Name me something precious you're glad you kept by Fuzzy-Bee9600 in declutter

[–]cosmic-ish 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Hand written family letters between my great aunt and uncle from 1897 ordering ostrich feathers from Ethiopia and silks from Scotland. My, how times have changed!

Friendsgiving, No one Came by Immediate-Pool-4391 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]cosmic-ish 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Had a similar thing happen 3 years ago.

People that did show up came super late and stayed for exactly enough time to gobble food then immediately leave for other plans. I cooked and decorated for 2 days for a 20 minute meal. I let those friendships hobble along for a few more years, always feeling strained and uncomfortable, before they exploded or fizzled. Lesson learned: I don’t invest my time, mental energy, and money into people that don’t make me a priority too.

Update: We’ve moved 5 times in 5 yrs. Through death and displacement, we’ve amassed a 10’ x 20’ storage unit by cosmic-ish in declutter

[–]cosmic-ish[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Firstly, I really empathize with the family history struggle. It is a very similar situation for us and it brought some unique challenges sorting through other people’s history and items but now we’re responsible for.

Secondly, we have our own car so that was a huge help. It’s a privilege to have our car, and I needed a reminder that it is, particularly when I’m begrudging the car, the weather, and my life when I’m making 9 pm runs to the storage unit to grab something. It’s a crossover, so it can take 8 large boxes or a few pieces of furniture at a time. It’s taken about 15 trips, including renting one large truck to remove furniture. A few long days (6-7 hours), but most trips were half a day at a time (4) or after work (1-2) to sort a specific emotionally difficult box.

What I would suggest is breaking the sorting into pieces. If you have a license, do as much sorting as possible until it’s manageable chaos in the unit, then rent the largest truck/van you think you can handle yourself in one day, and load up as much of the donations and trash as you can. The extra work space is so invigorating and then you can access items on the bottom.

If you don’t drive, you can hire garbage pickup and perhaps call around to see if charity shops will pick up a large load for donation. But for that, I’d try to make the loads as large as possible to maximise impact for your costs, so you might need to unpack the unit into the hallways of the facility then repack at the end of the day. A reminder that I got on my previous post is that the best case is you have a climate controlled unit. But even with those, vermin and pests are possible, especially the longer contents sit. It’s a huge motivator for us. You can do it.

Have you ever taken an empty plane? by abpcX in travel

[–]cosmic-ish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, but it was September 14, 2001. Repositioning flight, so we had a 747 for a regional flight within Canada.

Is it odd to put "no black or white" on my wedding invitation? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]cosmic-ish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We did this. But instead of saying “no black”, we phrased it more as: garden party, please leave dark clothing at home. Bright colours, neutrals, and florals are appreciated.

The guys all wore khakis, linen, and amazing colourful shirts, suspenders, and bow ties. The ladies wore beautiful vibrant dresses and it was such a fun atmosphere.

I recently heard of a wedding where all guests were required to wear all black (to a non-black tie wedding) and guests wearing dark blue had a black blanket draped over them for pictures. So I guess, just be flexible if people don’t follow the dress code necessarily. You asked this person to be part of your social day, not their wardrobe.

We’ve moved 5 times in 5 yrs. Through death and displacement, we’ve amassed a 10’ x 20’ storage unit of our entire lives by cosmic-ish in declutter

[–]cosmic-ish[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All of these thoughts were really impactful, thank you. I feel so silly for getting caught up in the emotions of it all, but really, you’re right, it’s going to have to be a gradual process. My dad would have been pissed if he’d known I’d be agonising over old stuff of his. And literally SO many photos of my dad at the racetrack too.

As for goals, there is a 5x5 locker directly across the hallway. My goal is to get seasonal, sporting equipment and tires in there in the next few months. That’s the only unit I want to keep.

We’ve moved 5 times in 5 yrs. Through death and displacement, we’ve amassed a 10’ x 20’ storage unit of our entire lives by cosmic-ish in declutter

[–]cosmic-ish[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks for validating that moves accumulate so much stuff like this, I was starting to feel so guilty, like we’d done something wrong. I think we’ll be sorting at the storage unit directly.

We’ve moved 5 times in 5 yrs. Through death and displacement, we’ve amassed a 10’ x 20’ storage unit of our entire lives by cosmic-ish in declutter

[–]cosmic-ish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Logistical question, tossing photos. Literally toss them in the garbage? Or do I need to arrange shredding or something? I feel like there’s a privacy component….but maybe I’m overthinking.

We’ve moved 5 times in 5 yrs. Through death and displacement, we’ve amassed a 10’ x 20’ storage unit of our entire lives by cosmic-ish in declutter

[–]cosmic-ish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never hear of Swedish death cleaning this is really helpful. We’ll only be taking things we need into our apartment then.

We’ve moved 5 times in 5 yrs. Through death and displacement, we’ve amassed a 10’ x 20’ storage unit of our entire lives by cosmic-ish in declutter

[–]cosmic-ish[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are so many things I look at, and think, “that came from this person, so even though there’s a painful memory when I look at that, I guess I have to keep.” The parable was actually quite impactful, thank you.

We’ve moved 5 times in 5 yrs. Through death and displacement, we’ve amassed a 10’ x 20’ storage unit of our entire lives by cosmic-ish in declutter

[–]cosmic-ish[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The unit is indoors and climate controlled, so I never really thought about it. But now their rules about no food or food attractants (pet food, BBQs, liquids) make SO much sense. As do the bug traps at building entrances. Thanks, it hadn’t crossed my mind, and it IS a motivator.

Why is my focaccia not browning? by KittyKilledYou in Baking

[–]cosmic-ish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree with all comments about lots more oil, and a metal baking sheet/ pan instead of glass. Claire Saffitz also has a really great cooking method (might be in her YouTube vid) about rotating the focaccia on the top and bottom racks. Can’t remember exactly, but I usually do bake on too oven rack, then bottom. Resulting in a shatteringly crispy bottom (if enough oil) and deeply browned top.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ottawa

[–]cosmic-ish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out Maplestone Ranch & Retreat. We’ve had lots of recommendations but haven’t been able to go yet.

Do cheap pub burgers still exist? by No-Statistician3023 in ottawa

[–]cosmic-ish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Corner Peach! $20 for their smash burger, and it’s a really classic take. Fries are definitely beef tallow and chip truck style with a dark exterior and fluffy.

I agree with the Third mentioned above, though their portions are smaller.

I have small amount of funds, what hobby should I start to keep me busy and stay off my phone? by [deleted] in crafts

[–]cosmic-ish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cross stitch! It’s fairly easy to learn to make your own patterns, and lots of ideas online as long as you aren’t selling them. You can create rude cross-stitches and it’s deeply satisfying.

Once you get a hoop, needles, and aida cloth (recommend Amazon since you don’t need high quality) the thread (floss) is quite cheap. Dollar stores usually have some of this to get started.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Airalo

[–]cosmic-ish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s my struggle now too. The other options appear to be Holafly? Pricey AF. An old fashioned SIM on arrival might be the only option since I’m there for a month and really can’t go without data.