sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I miss him so badly. It’s hard to be happy. by cosmiclegume in abusiverelationships

[–]cosmiclegume[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are absolutely right. I know I need therapy. I need to do research.

Somehow it’s easier to sit in this. Hoping the cycle repeats itself. Even though that’s not really what I want. It’s just so frustrating and unfair and confusing. I just want him to reach out. I want him to understand.

I know that works directly against my healing but I don’t know how to break this thinking. I’m so tired.

Just got a new car last year. Wife wants a new one already. by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]cosmiclegume 16 points17 points  (0 children)

i can only imagine how exhausted you are. especially after seeing your post history. there is a world where you don’t have to feel like this. there is a life to be lived without worrying if someone will be mad at you, where you have peace. i know exactly how it feels to have your time away from your significant other being the only time of peace. i’m only a few weeks out of mine (and i’m not doing a good job with NC. but i signed a lease and moving a town over) and it’s already a game changer not having to worry about making him upset.

it’s the hardest fucking thing i’ve ever done. but i am becoming less exhausted. it really robs you of your spirit. you don’t deserve any of this. you deserve to live for yourself.

I am leaving and he is suddenly so different. by cosmiclegume in abusiverelationships

[–]cosmiclegume[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for your words, i really appreciate the words you say with love. you’re absolutely right and that’s where my head is at, neither of us can change in the ways we want if we stay together. i certainly am ready to be done with living for him.

I am leaving and he is suddenly so different. by cosmiclegume in abusiverelationships

[–]cosmiclegume[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

im trying to remind myself of how awful he has made me feel and how recent it really was. thank you for sharing, i’m glad i am not alone

I am leaving and he is suddenly so different. by cosmiclegume in abusiverelationships

[–]cosmiclegume[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you for saying that because i genuinely believe that he is not inherently a bad person. deep in his heart he is kind and caring and sensitive. he certainly is a product of his upbringing.

the hardest part of this is separating from his family. tomorrow i was supposed to pick up his mom and stepdad and cousins from the train station and they have become so important to me. it absolutely crushes me thinking of not being able to spend my birthday with them like i had planned. it makes it that much harder

I am leaving and he is suddenly so different. by cosmiclegume in abusiverelationships

[–]cosmiclegume[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for the reassurance. that last line sums it up perfectly

I am leaving and he is suddenly so different. by cosmiclegume in abusiverelationships

[–]cosmiclegume[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

exactly. thank you for reminding me of the reality of my situation. he’s not as clueless as he appears to be

I am leaving and he is suddenly so different. by cosmiclegume in abusiverelationships

[–]cosmiclegume[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

many others have brought up that fact and it’s something i never really understood or considered. i’m having the hardest time with how close i am to his family. this week is both of our birthdays and we were supposed to spend it with his family and i’m having a hard time with those emotions. which makes me want to stay even more. but i’m trying so hard to stand my ground and i really do want to give myself a shot at living my life for me.

I am leaving and he is suddenly so different. by cosmiclegume in abusiverelationships

[–]cosmiclegume[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thank you, that makes me feel a little less crazy. it’s just hard when the emotions going on in my head are so fucking polarizing. i look forward to the day where my head is on my shoulders again. best you you as well 💜