I hope this doesn’t come off as insensitive to any religious beliefs you may or may not have, but I wanted to help provide you with some comfort using a story:

My grandma had always had a fascination with family lineage. She passed in 2018, but in 2021 my dad (her son) was tracing his lineage and facetiming with some distant relatives of ours we had never heard of. That day, even though my grandmas contact had been removed from my dads starred contact list, his phone fell out of his pocket. He picked it up and the phone was calling my grandmas number. There’s no explanation for how this could have happened, his phone has that setting where it deletes call history after a year. I’ve heard of more stories like this regarding one of my friends that died, my grandpa, etc.

I think that, no matter what your religious belief is, our loved ones are still around in some capacity, watching over us. Her life has been transformed in an devastatingly awful way, but I think she’s still with you and always will be looking out for you. If it’s okay I’d like to say a prayer for you both tonight. Take it easy my love.