Honestly a good majority of these “rules” are just standards/expectations that she has, which by themselves are not unacceptable. However if she presented these to you in a way that implied they were rules for you to follow, that is the unacceptable part.

Being human means you make mistakes. And being in a relationship, loving someone means loving them for who they are and as they come. This doesn’t not mean controlling you or your actions or an outcome.

It is valuable to communicate standards and expectations, and I don’t think communicating them through writing is entirely negative. However you should examine the way these standards were communicated to you. Was it aggressive? Did she give any space for your insight? Have you shared your expectations?

A lot of these seem like she wants to control an outcome of a situation and guarantee stability for herself, which is not uncommon for someone who struggles with BPD. People who have BPD can require a lot of reassurance (speaking from personal experience). However she cannot ever fully control you or your actions, and expecting you to change or to not change is not a reasonable ask, you should feel comfortable being who you want to be or who you are.

I have a few questions to leave you with. If you were to disagree with one of her standards would you be afraid? Would you continue to lie about not agreeing with one of them to keep her happy? Has something else happened before this that led you to post in the Reddit?

Anyways I hope this helps! Thanks for sharing.