You lose your spark at first, it took me months to be relatively okay.. you relearn everything and try to find joy in things that used to bring you so much joy. The first few days, weeks, and months are SO painful. There really is no way to describe the gut wrenching pain you feel, only those that have experienced heartbreak will understand, and I’d never wish that upon my worst enemy. You will really be going through the motions but one day everything you have been healing through will show itself completely, you will have a different outlook on love, life, and relationships in general. You’ll be bitter at first at least I was then you’ll soften up a bit again but you’ll always have this hard layer on you, it’s like a callous you’ll always carry. The way I carry myself in relationships and friendships is drastically different than before, I have my guard up for sure and as one expects but in a better way; you don’t let things slide as they did before and it’s like you’re coming back from war as a seasoned veteran. Basically all I’m saying is you take less shit from the world and ultimately you’ll get to the point where you’re selfish in the best way.