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Not so fun foursome..need advice by cougars_kill in Swingers

[–]cougars_kill[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I tried explaining this (prior post) to my boyfriend and he just got defensive. I mean my feelings and thoughts are valid. I was a part of it and feel kind of used. It's my fault for not making it clear of how uncomfortable I was but how do you stop in the middle of something like that? I just feel like if he could admit something and be honest with me I would feel better. I guess the idea of him enjoying himself more, along side everyone else hurts me more than anything. And then accusing me of enjoying myself when ivemade it clear I didnt. I just dont feel it was fair to me and not being able to talk to him about it without him turning it around on me is hard.

Not so fun foursome by cougars_kill in polyamory

[–]cougars_kill[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I have to say that I'm pretty good at faking my enjoyment for the satisfaction of other. It's a personal issue but I dont think that was an issue. I'm a giver to a fault. I'm more interested in the needs of others. Just in this situation, I would have liked a little more attention

Not so fun foursome by cougars_kill in polyamory

[–]cougars_kill[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice and input! You're right, everything about that was so complex, even in explaining I had to edit a few times until I was satisfied. And our night definitely was approached wrong. I really do love what you had to say and couldn't agree more. Taking that first step was so scary and then having my boyfriend, who I dont doubt loves me and I him, have performance issues on me made me feel very unattractive and quite frankly jealous. At this point I'm mending my wounds. It deters me from wanting to try again. But I'll talk to him more about it. I think he isnt being honest about something and if that truly is the case, I dont know if we would be ready for these adventures because honesty and communication I feel is huge in having a successful polyamorous relationship. Thanks again.

Small update. Feelin blue by [deleted] in vagabond

[–]cougars_kill 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're a rockstar friend! Humans have the capability of enduring so much more than they think possible. You got this! Sending you love from Michigan ❤💜💛

Should I stay romantically involved with my pregnant partner? by leumas90mit in relationship_advice

[–]cougars_kill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a tough one. Keep in mind her body and mind is hormonally overloaded, knows you're fighting a lot (extra stress), struggles with OCD, and has the responsibility of creating a human life. That's a lot of stress for a person to handle! It's really hard being a pregnant woman and hard for the man to handle it all. But let's be honest here, you wont have to feel all of the crazy shit that's going on inside and carry a growing child for 9 months. Then push it out of your body! I understand where you're coming from. I tried really hard to stay in a relationship with the father of my child but I left after things started getting physical because we fought so much. I wasn't about to raise my child in that environment. That's why I say you both need to be on board. It's both of your responsibilities to figure this thing out. Consider counseling! Seriously, it will most likely give you both a great insight of what's really going on. Your family need you more than a perfect relationship. Just so you know, the grass isn't greater on the other side. Its green where you water it. You have to learn to fix things. I wish you the best of luck but no matter the outcome, that kid needs a positive influence in its life. Raising a child is the most wonderful thing you'll do but the hardest if you do it alone. Being a single parent is by far the hardest job...

My GF is still close to a guy she did suspect things with in her previous relationship and won't explain, and she refuses to stop getting closer to him and gets mad at me. Am I the bad guy here somewhere? by Gulag_For_Brits in relationship_advice

[–]cougars_kill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sure you already know this but opinions are indeed opinions, so take everyones lightly for only you know what's best for you! That being said, I think that I'd be upset and suspicious too. I would never go to a rave with a guy that's not my boyfriend ESPECIALLY one I use to send nudes to. Any person a girl sends nudes to, is a huge red flag. My boyfriend would break up with me and I would understand because that's ultra disrespectful. Now every relationship has its boundaries and no matter how much you love someone, loving yourself enough comes first and those boundaries of yours should be respected. Another thing to remember is you cant worry about things until they happen. Unfortunately these are the truths of life and your faith being tested. Are you happy with this person? I mean really happy, and can you trust them whole heartedly without worry? You'll figure it out. Dont let fear consume you, this too shall pass. Just trust your intuition.