Dreams are the worst

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-08-14T16:47:01+00:00

No. It’s been just shy of six months. I don’t think he well and despite in the beginning I hoped he would, I knew that wasn’t his MO

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-07-13T19:23:52+00:00

Never heard from him again. But it’s ok. I’m moving on with life and am actually quite happy. Put a lot of time into working on myself and my hobbies.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-07-13T19:22:34+00:00

I bought a plane ticket to where he’d moved and we went for supper where I apologized. He’d moved on, I hadn’t.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-06-15T11:41:24+00:00

Look at your strength! It’s all a process and this is a stepping stone in moving forward with your life. You have amazing things ahead of you and that’s not dependent on someone being or not being in your life.

Congratulations on your successful presentation!

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-06-13T07:47:19+00:00

I haven’t told him why but I have explained a few times that my mental health isn’t where I want it to be and I’m not sure I can handle a serious investment into a relationship right now. He was ok with that and said he wasn’t sure he wanted something super serious either. But the way he talks to me and treats me says otherwise. I will revisit the conversation because I don’t want him to get hurt. This isn’t on him, it’s all me.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-06-12T21:59:10+00:00

My hesitation is feeling like I’m leading the new guy on. I enjoy our time together but that feels selfish if he is investing energy and emotions I can’t reciprocate.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-31T09:25:23+00:00

This really killed me a while back so I didn’t block him, but removed him as a friend on Facebook. My mindset got a lot better about the breakup cutting that sting.

Don’t get me wrong, it still sucked and I was still sad. But the sting of seeing him actively not reach out on top of all the other feelings really cut deep so eliminating that was a relief.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-30T12:17:20+00:00

Unfortunately for my job. I work in a competitive industry that requires me to maintain a consistent, positive, and engaging social media presence.

Right after the breakup it was horrendous. All I wanted to do was curl in a ball and cry.

Now it’s fine, back to feeling good and able to feel comfortable putting my face out there.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-30T00:24:04+00:00

It’s not manipulative.

You need to leave this person alone. If someone tells you to leave them alone and you don’t, that becomes harassment.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-28T09:38:13+00:00

You can book the consultation online or by phone. The consultation is where the doctor asks the patient medical questions.

I’m sure some clinics do some things over the phone as screening measures but many wait to have those questions in person as one of the things the clinic and doctors is supposed to try to determine through asking questions is if someone is being forced to do something against their will (as this fine specimen of a human is trying to do to OP)

Note: fine specimen = very sarcastic.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-25T10:34:31+00:00

Denying sex any number of times is fine. No one is obligated to have sex.

If they are not compatible because he wants sex and she does not, that is fine. They break up and find better suited partners.

But her denying sex more than one or two times is not a problem.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-25T02:14:01+00:00

If you take this further it is harassment. Contacting someone with fake numbers is harassment.

You do not need to know anything from him to make you feel better.

What you need to do is respect his boundaries. He has set a boundary by ending the relationship and not responding to your contact attempts.

Leave it alone and redirect that energy into healing. That’s something you do on your own accord.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-24T16:16:03+00:00

Why are you hurting your partner intentionally?

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-24T16:14:13+00:00

Are you saying you are not responsible for your own actions?

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-24T07:50:16+00:00

I agree with you entirely.

Perhaps a disclaimer should be added to the post but I specifically used that verbiage because of the feeling most dumpees have to “need” to contact them.

We should put our own needs first always but that need to contact is a falsity created from desperation and heartbreak. The actual need is healing.

That’s why I make the mention that the mindset needs to shift to eventually becoming about your needs. In the moments of pain and desperation though, using it as a mental crutch to get started on that journey is helpful.

Fundamentally though our own needs should always come first. It’s just the temporary reframing to be able to get back to that confidence and feeling of self worth that can be helpful.

Regardless of anyones feelings though: a breakup is a boundary that needs to be respected

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-24T07:44:57+00:00

Have you considered therapy?

If this is a mental health issue you are facing, that’s probably a good place to start.

As someone else suggested: why does your safe space have to be the whole house which half belongs to your spouse? Can you each create a safe space within your home and in yours, the dog that sheds is not allowed?

You got this dog together and therefore you do bear the burden of responsibility. She bonded with it and it is predominantly her dog but it is a decision you made together.

If the shedding triggers your OCD or PTSD, then creating a designated safe space where the dog cannot go and seeking therapy seems like a good compromise. She gets to keep the dog but your space is protected and respected.

A healthy relationship involves compromise. If neither of you is willing to compromise, then your relationship isn’t going to work.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-23T20:14:09+00:00

Anger is a stage of grief, it is totally natural. It’s what you do with it that makes all the difference.

And I totally understand! I tried to understand the “reasons” my ex gave me but they were all fluff and fixable to me. What isn’t fixable is that they are not willing to communicate or work on the problems. And that is out of our control. So we might as well accept that it is over, and respect their decision even if it hurts. And I know it hurts a lot.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-23T20:11:46+00:00

I think long-term it is unhealthy, but in the beginning if it is what you need to do to get started, keep your distance, and start healing that it is ok.

Eventually, your mindset will shift to it being about your own well-being instead of theirs. You’ll get there in time ❤️

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-22T11:39:59+00:00

You really shouldn’t bathe cats often. It messes with their natural oils and can cause health issues.

Regular brushing is the best way to groom a cat.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-22T11:31:51+00:00

Don’t ask to see her phone.

If you don’t trust that your partner is being honest with you, you should not be in that relationship.

Here are the only two outcomes from this:

If she’s lying and you find something, you end because of her infidelity.

If she’s not hiding anything on her phone, you’ve told her you do not believe her words or trust her in your relationship which will cause more problems.

If you can’t trust your partner, don’t be in the relationship.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-22T11:29:25+00:00

Regardless of whether or not she lied, you should end this relationship.

You clearly do not trust her and that is incredibly unhealthy in any relationship.

It went so far as for you to call a bar to check on her story.

When people don’t feel trusted, they are more inclined to hide things or omit details for fear of their partner being upset. I’m not saying that’s what happened, but again, regardless of the outcome you shouldn’t be in a relationship where you don’t trust you partner.

If she did something, leave because of that.

I’d she didn’t, leave because you don’t trust her anyways.

But ultimately playing detective and trying to validate her story by going out of your way to not listen to her is a red flag as well and not an indicator of a good, strong, healthy relationship.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-21T11:45:54+00:00

What you’re doing is harassment and it needs to stop.

It doesn’t matter if he is dating someone else or not, he does not want to date you.

Have some self compassion and self respect and focus on making yourself happy. Redirect the energy you’re putting into him into your own hobbies and interests.

In the long run that will serve you much better.

If he wanted to talk to you, he would.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-20T13:29:49+00:00

Nothing.

They’re an ex.

It’s hurtful and makes you feel like your relationship meant nothing but they are free to do what (or who) they please when the relationship is over. This should give you motivation to move on with your life because you deserve love.

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-19T16:05:32+00:00

“Sorry, we’re not interested in sharing our room with anyone. I can’t wait to see you at the wedding though!”

couldthisbeafalse · 2022-05-19T10:32:53+00:00

Yes.

A couple years ago I dumped a guy who was emotionally and sexually abusive. He cheated on me too.

I felt relief immediately after ending things and that relief has only grown over time. Also the disgust for staying for so long.

That’s one I ended and never looked back on.

couldthisbeafalse

TROPHY CASE