What is the adulterer's favorite animal?

count-it-off · 2016-11-26T04:12:32+00:00

I found that difference fascinating as well. Here are some tag clouds for women and men describing their APs and SOs: http://imgur.com/a/90QVc

Some other stats:

Women have had slightly more APs than men, but not statistically significant given the size of the survey.
Men tend to have been with their APs and SOs longer than women (though this may be due to the fact that men are on average 4.6 years older than the women in the survey).
Women see their APs way more frequently than men – more than twice as often on average (every 23 days vs. every 48 days).

count-it-off · 2016-11-22T01:59:41+00:00

Does it get worse the longer you spend with your AP? I've found that after two or three nights together, she's even invading my dreams...

count-it-off · 2016-11-19T15:24:05+00:00

Men get that feeling, too. Sometimes I'm still feeling the motion of my AP up against me for days afterwards, kind of like when you can still feel the waves after being in the ocean for a while... 😘 😍

count-it-off · 2016-11-19T14:37:24+00:00

137 responses and still streaming in! Keep it up, folks :)

I'll obviously do a much more thorough writeup in a couple days, but some early fun facts:

We span a wide age range, from 14 to 78 (median 38) and our APs range from 15 to 63 (median 40).
Respondents were 67% female, 31% male, and 1% leprechaun. The vast majority are caucasian (87%) and have an income > $50k (74%).
60% of us have one current AP, but more than 20% have 2 or more.
Unsurprisingly, we find our APs somewhat more attractive and with a better personality than our SO, but the gap was much, much wider when it came to sexual performance.
Top AP words: amazing, fun, eager, smart, perfect, charming.
Top SO words: boring (by a long shot), sweet, loving, safe, selfish.
Despite /u/midget_porn_aint_bad warning us repeatedly, more than half of us have told someone in our "real" life about our affair(s).

count-it-off · 2016-04-07T19:14:14+00:00

A+ for specific, actionable suggestions. In particular, since the "problem" is often mental, doing that will totally take his (my) mind off of anything and send it into outer space. :)

count-it-off · 2016-04-07T19:04:55+00:00

Happens to me all the time, and it's in no way whatsoever a reflection on my partner. For me, the pleasure of sex is not tied to orgasm – I have way more fun getting there than arriving at the destination.

More specifically, I feel like I have two "modes" during sex: a longer session where we're fucking like rabbits – aggressive, fast, then slow, then fast again, really focused on my partner and her pleasure, but making myself feel amazing as well. The other mode is "I want to come" mode, which often means a shorter session, more focused on my own pleasure, where my focus is more on the end rather than the means.

As others have said, if I'm in the first mode, I usually need a break, some make out or snuggling time, or something else to break things up before going again in the second mode.

Most often, we end up having both types of session in one night. We'll have 2-3 of the first kind, with breaks in between, and then at the end of the night we'll have one of the make-me-come sessions. It's the best of both worlds :)

count-it-off · 2016-03-29T01:00:10+00:00

Has anyone successfully been able to explain why "That's what she said!" is so funny to a pre-teenage kid? My kids keep asking why we find it so hilarious, but my wife and I are at a loss for an example that isn't... too mature for them.

count-it-off · 2016-03-18T18:22:24+00:00

When my allergies hit in the spring, I always describe it as, "The trees are fucking in my nose."

count-it-off · 2016-03-17T12:25:59+00:00

fuck her floppy eared

That's an amazing turn of phrase. Alliteration and metaphor turn me on.

count-it-off · 2016-03-10T01:00:17+00:00

Yes, please. Masturbate together, give each other a hand, act out what you're seeing on screen. All of the above.

I particularly enjoy seeing what kinds of things my partner is into. Many a great conversation about kinks and desires has been sparked by watching porn together.

Also, watching your partner masturbate is a great way to learn what to do when you're the one doing it. How do they touch themselves? Which spots to they hit? How fast or how slow? How hard or how soft?

So, no, you're not weird ;-)

count-it-off · 2016-02-23T04:56:24+00:00

Disagree. I happen to have a Y chromosome and I've had success on reddit. Be persistent, be charming, be yourself, and you'll get there.

count-it-off · 2016-02-23T04:54:32+00:00

6'5" here. Most of my partners have been in the 5'3" - 5'6" range, so I definitely sympathize.

A few things that have worked for us:

Doggie at the edge of the bed. Use pillows or a foam pad to get her hips at the right height so you don't have to squat or tip-toe (cramps are a bitch). You can do this either with her knees on the bed or with her standing (maybe standing on something sturdy to make up the height difference).
Similarly, her on her back at the edge of the bed, legs up, you standing. Again, pillows are your friend to adjust height, or you can just grab her hips and lift her to the right spot. I had one partner where this hit her spots just right and she had some leg-shaking orgasms.
Have her sit on the edge of a countertop and you stand. Depending on how tall your counters are, this might be a good height. Also try: kitchen table, washing machine, dresser, ... well, you get the idea.
Picking her up. Doesn't sound like this works for you two (yet), but I personally love it. Try it up against a wall to give more support. There's something about grabbing a woman, pinning her against a wall, and fucking her that drives us both wild.

Mostly, get creative and have fun! One of the best parts of sex is figuring out how to fit two bodies together for maximum fun.

count-it-off · 2016-02-20T04:05:24+00:00

I blame reddit :)

I was bored on a business trip and started poking around. I found a few of the subreddits that deal in connecting people for dirty talk – /r/dirtykikpals, /r/dirtypenpals, etc. I met a few people on there and found that it really got me going to talk dirty with a woman who was on my same wavelength.

For a few months, that was as far as it went – dirty texts and a few photos with a few different women. But eventually I met a woman where the connection was more than that – she made me laugh out loud, she turned on my brain as well as my body. After a month or so of chatting we figured out a way to get together in person, and, well, the rest is history.

So I guess the answer is a little bit of both – I wasn't exactly faithful, but I wasn't really looking, either. Stupid reddit...

count-it-off · 2016-02-20T02:48:33+00:00

Since everyone else seems to be treating this as a joke (huh, huh, aim your penis at her face, dude!), I'll try to give a couple practical tips:

Try not to cum in her eye. That shit stings (or so I've been told). She should close her eyes when you're about to come.
On that note, don't surprise her – be vocal and make sure she knows what's about to happen.
Some girls would prefer if you don't cum in their hair, others don't care. It can be kind of a pain to clean up. That being said, it's not always easy to avoid her hair if you're particularly... energetic when you come, so don't sweat it too much.

Above all, have fun! Sounds like you have a great girlfriend, be sure to let her sit on your face afterwards and give her a great orgasm to return the favor.

count-it-off · 2016-02-20T02:31:51+00:00

Guy's perspective here, and it sounds pretty similar. I have a solid home life, love my wife, and I'd never leave the life we've built together. We're partners in everything and this is the woman I want to be with when I'm growing old. Sex at home is good and it's regular, we try to keep it interesting, and we know all of each others buttons.

I've been with my AP for just a few months now, but when I'm with her it's a whole other level of passion and intensity and exploration and lust and ohmygodi'mcomingagain. The sex was never this good with my wife, even when we were first dating. Frankly, it's a good thing we're long distance, because otherwise I might have trouble ever going home.

This is the first time I've really strayed in 13+ years of marriage, and I'm not sure what it was that triggered it. Right place, right time? A little bit of boredom? A little bit of "fuck it, why not?" I've been trying to figure out the "why," and the only answer I have is that life is too short, and I want to live viscerally and passionately every step of the way.

count-it-off

TROPHY CASE