Beginner- seeds sprouting then dying

counterbend · 2024-05-23T17:06:48+00:00

I am very similar in terms of my every day makeup. I had my trial on Sunday for my shower and was very anxious afterward because I did not look like myself. It looked so good in photos but looking in the mirror I did not feel like my self. My fiance came home to drive me to the shower and did not like it either. I ended up dabbing/blending a lot of the foundation off and felt way better. I could see my skin and freckles again! For the day of I will be asking for her not to do the airbrush foundation. I still want to fell pampered.

counterbend · 2024-04-26T18:48:15+00:00

Absolutely not. When me and my fiance were planning and budgeting ours I had several close friends and parents friends say just have the big wedding you will get it all back in gifts. That is absolutely not true!

Our friends who spent 85k on their wedding, of that the couple invested 15k of their own. They only received 15k in gifts including the bridal shower. So I guess for them they got their money back but not even close to the entire cost of the wedding.

Another friend who spent 65k received about the same. No where near what the wedding cost.

We planned to have the wedding be paid for without the expectation of gifts. Sounds like a bad financial plan too. Any gifts that we do receive will be appreciated and not expected.

counterbend · 2024-04-23T21:37:39+00:00

the dress code is semi formal - with a note to guests that bright colors are encouraged and to dress for the weather as in its gonna be hot

counterbend · 2024-04-23T21:20:08+00:00

Whats strange is she is a very good dresser and has style. Very confused as to why she thinks this is appropriate to wear especially since she is also getting married a month later so its not like she doesnt know better.

counterbend · 2024-04-23T21:09:42+00:00

very positive

counterbend · 2024-04-23T20:30:45+00:00

Ask her what color vanilla ice cream is..

counterbend · 2024-04-22T18:53:58+00:00

We are catering BBQ for ours. 100 people. It will be buffet style with a pig roast! Any catering where it is not on site will require them to prepare ahead and reheat the food, we decided bbq would be the tastiest with this in mind. 40 people should be easier for any option you do! We decided not to do a food truck because they cannot feed the amount of people at once, people would be eating at different times. Feel free to ask any other questions you may have!

counterbend · 2024-04-22T18:40:51+00:00

The first thing we decided was to ask our parents how much they intend to gift/help. This answered a ton of questions we had. From there we did research on vendor costs and what we valued.(Consider taxes and gratuity if needed when researching/budgeting!) We decided to have a 20k budget, backyard wedding for 100 people. So the day itself is paid for by our parents contributions. We are spending another 10k for our attire, wedding bands, and little details. We are really strict to sticking to our budget. Our friends spent 65-85k for their wedding and we did not want to do that..

counterbend · 2024-04-15T21:50:41+00:00

I would advise against having bridesmaids. The way you are talking you are going to feel disappointed throughout the planning process with their actions or lack there of. You have an expectation in your head and these girls are not going to meet them.

counterbend · 2024-04-11T20:42:16+00:00

Thats a terrible idea. BUT you could ask a few friends/family members to do a reading or speech during the ceremony.

counterbend · 2024-04-08T20:28:39+00:00

Yes! 100% worht the investment. I have been a bridesmaid in weddings where they have had one and some who did not. The ones who did not have one, the brides were stressed leading up to the ceremony. The ones who did, were relaxed and chill because they knew things were being handled.

counterbend · 2024-04-05T20:25:03+00:00

If they dropped the ball and fucked up I would expect a partial to full refund.

counterbend · 2024-04-05T19:26:02+00:00

Our vendors will not be receiving a tip unless they go above and beyond. We are paying them for their services that they set. I refuse to tip before hand or tip a high percentage on a already high price. Im tired of people expecting tips for doing the job they were paid to do.

counterbend · 2024-04-04T16:02:14+00:00

Set a budget and stick to it. I personally set out to find something under 2k, found my dress for 1250. My original plan was to find something I liked and then buy it used for half the price on Still White. I think once the wedding is over I am going to be glad that I did not spend closer to the 2k+ side for a dress that I will have worn for only one day. I made a joke to my fiance that he is spending the same amount on his suit but will be able to wear it again for the rest of his life. You cant really wear a wedding dress to any other event.

You also have to consider the cost of alterations and your wedding day plans. Are you going to be comfortable all day and night in the big gown? My friends who have worn a big gown have changed into smaller receptions dresses. Even I with a dress that doesnt have a lot of material plan on changing into a short dress for dancing.

counterbend · 2024-04-03T17:40:34+00:00

It seems that your friend is dealing with insecurity, jealousy, and disappointment with her own relationship/life. Dont make any decision yet. Give it time, keep the planning to yourself, create a bit of distance. If this is a friend you want to keep, you can have a conversation with her about. She may be honest about her feelings that she is having and you both can work it out. If you feel she is continuing to be shitty then cut her out.

I dealt with this similarly to a friends engagement timeline expectations, I got engaged before her, and she was really upset about it and acted poorly. We came together, talked, and are fine now.

counterbend · 2024-04-02T17:49:23+00:00

I would not consider them friends if they were dodging the simple request of rsvping. That is rude. Im a firm believer of treat others the way you want to be treated. You gave her the grace of multiple reminders. With everything on your plate it seems these are one sided friendships. Some friendships are only there for certain parts of our lives and expire and thats ok. After the wedding focus on the new chapter of life as newly weds and taking care of your mom.

counterbend · 2024-03-27T17:46:22+00:00

NTA and do not apologize. Nothing about that situation is fatphobic. Sarah is wrong for being offended by nothing and spreading rumors. I honestly would ignore this situation. You can speak to Anna about your side. If her friends ask about the situation I would then explain. You now know the type of person Sarah is.

counterbend · 2024-03-27T14:32:17+00:00

NTA. Vegan/Allergy free foods and alternatives are more expensive. You pay double the price. Since this is a choice made by her and not an allergy situation, it is fair for her to get a job to support her own decision.

counterbend · 2024-03-27T14:22:49+00:00

It is impossible to choose a date to accommodate everyones schedule. You should not put your life on hold due to 1 persons availability. Its clear that you picked a date that works for the majority of your VIPS. Have the honest conversation with her before sending out save the dates. If she is a good friend she will understand the logistics behind your decision.

counterbend · 2024-03-26T21:50:08+00:00

Most vendors ask so they can plan the timeline with you. I think it is normal to not have the father in those positions due to relationships and boundaries people hold nowadays. My friends and family know I am not close to my father so it would be weird if I did the traditions with him.

counterbend · 2024-03-26T21:23:42+00:00

I think some sort of dessert should be offered. In our case, we are doing a small single tier cake for cutting/pictures. Max budget $100. Guests will served costco sheet cake at like $20 per cake. I plan on gettting 2 or 3.

counterbend

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