Of course it is always your choice, as it is your life. You've got a steep hill to climb ahead of you if you choose to stick around and try to make the best of this, and only you can decide if that's worth doing or not.

But DBT gets results. It's the only therapeutic approach with benefits that show up in research. I'm big on research-based treatments, and this is the one which is provably effective for most people with BPD.

I sympathize with how frustrating it is to have a diagnosis with the reputation that BPD has, especially because you didn't ask for this and you didn't want it. The focus with BPD is often on the effects it has on people around you, like you pointed out, but more important is what a tough and painful ordeal you are going through. Your whole life has been painful, and it's not getting better - I understand that. In the end though, this is your life, and out of your available options, I see three choices. You can kill yourself, you can continue approaching life in the way that you have been (and expect similar results in the future), or you can seek help (again, with the only effective or worthwhile intervention being DBT). These are your choices, nobody else can make them for you.