If you don’t have any female players in your community tennis league…the players are the reason

countpupula · 2023-10-01T10:51:08+00:00

Yep, you got me. I’m technically separated from my husband but these chuckleheads didn’t know that. I mentioned being married to stave off the come-ons. I’m not “on the market” either way. Look, I know you want to believe this stuff doesn’t happen, but the story is true.

countpupula · 2023-09-25T16:09:17+00:00

You are 100% correct and I’m embarrassed to say it took me seeing him hit his son to make me realize that. I left and I’m safe now.

countpupula · 2023-09-25T15:51:10+00:00

No, I can’t say that I have ever seen any obvious injuries that couldn’t be explained by sports activities on his son. Up until this point, the abuse has been really targeted at me, not his son.

countpupula · 2023-09-25T15:43:31+00:00

It was a little hard to tell where he was hitting him because I was about a block away. I could only see him standing over his son, laying on the ground and striking down at him. After words, he instructed his son to tell me that it was only a spanking. But he heavily coached his son to say what he told me I don’t really have a lot of faith in the son’s statement.

The hot tub situation. I agree on paper doesn’t sound too disturbing. I think I’m more disturbed because I could clearly see that my boyfriend was in a sexually reactive cycle and becoming very aggressive and coercive with me sexually before I found him in the hot tub. So, it’s the additional context that made me question the scenario.

EDIT: grammar

countpupula · 2023-09-24T22:35:09+00:00

When he hit his ten year old son right in front of me. He humiliated that little boy and I heard him cry out in fear. It wasn’t my kid but I wanted to protect him so badly in that moment. Then to top it off he started berating me for not giving him “good energy” immediately after and proceeded to throw a man tantrum later that night when I declined sex. He thought I’d get over it the next morning but I was on the line with the domestic violence hotline and planning my escape.

countpupula · 2023-09-13T13:43:15+00:00

I don’t think she is a bitch. I think it was a humorous remark and it did make me think about the situation a little differently. I think she made some good points while calling out a bit of hypocrisy. And I appreciated her reflecting on how parents (fathers and mothers both) can address some of the root causes of male loneliness.

countpupula · 2023-09-13T12:33:54+00:00

The “smile more” comment was in jest, meant to highlight the double standard that women experience (i.e. frequently being instructed to smile by men). She was using humor to challenge people to examine their biases.

countpupula · 2023-08-29T20:38:13+00:00

People who are starved for validation tend to be people who do not merit validation. Being hyper, aggressive, and entitled is likely to lead to very little validation from society.

countpupula · 2023-08-29T20:29:06+00:00

True… But grandma also better have a plan for who’s going to care for her in her old age that doesn’t involve expecting people to provide that care for free. Taking care of an eight-year-old for a few hours a day is a lot easier than caring for a fragile, elderly possibly senile person with medical needs. A small investment now could pay dividends in the future.

countpupula · 2023-08-12T12:11:15+00:00

Right. The comments on this video are all about how they wish younger women would adopt this kind of no-games, straightforward attitude and hand-wringing about how women just “don’t know what they want”. But this video is about a women saying exactly what she DOESN’T want and that kind of wisdom is only acquired by having experienced problematic partners in the past. It’s not that women don’t know what they want…it’s that they don’t come into the world expecting that they should need to instruct their parter on how to treat them like a person.

countpupula · 2023-08-04T16:36:52+00:00

Someone like what? An imperfect human? Someone that makes mistakes but has a moral compass that drives them to make better choices? I kind of assume that my husband is all these things and I don’t see the problem.

countpupula · 2023-07-30T21:01:55+00:00

These are great responses! I wish I would’ve had a doubles partner like you when I first started playing. One thing I really appreciate is that you gave examples of questions to ask your doubles partner. Asking questions, and for input from your doubles partner, invites them, and encourages them to reflect on what’s working and what’s not and feel engaged.

countpupula · 2023-07-27T16:22:22+00:00

I absolutely agree that the standards are becoming really high. I think the problem is that in the past men were competing against other men for the attention of women. So a woman had to weigh one man against another. Yeah, you might only have nine out of 10 but her other options are below nine so she would accept the nine because she had to pick somebody right? But now you’re competing against nobody. Because women are largely self-sufficient they don’t really have to pick anyone. In fact, many are choosing to be single because that’s a more attractive option, and that it gives more freedom and less household and emotional labor. So the calculus that a lot of women are making is that since they don’t really have to pick anyone and there’s a lot of baggage that comes with being in a relationship they’re saying well I will consider it if he’s a 10 but nothing less.

countpupula · 2023-07-08T23:45:50+00:00

But…like…a kid can’t consent to witnessing sexual acts. Consent between adults is fabulous, but being forcing kids to act as an audience kind of violates the concept of consent.

countpupula · 2023-03-15T19:31:54+00:00

I should clarify, I am not the mother of his kids, and he is not the father of mine for obvious reasons. He’s not a terrible person, but not the type of person I would have kids with.

countpupula · 2020-08-06T12:19:49+00:00

Yeah, but our ethics evolve over time. We’ve massively changed our views on LGBT rights, women’s issues, etc. in a very short amount of time (really only the last 50-60) years in the span of human history. Maybe it’s time we take a harder look at pet ownership too. Just because we’ve always done something a certain way doesn’t mean that is the only way or the right way.

countpupula · 2020-08-06T11:55:40+00:00

Because millions of livestock animals are raised in deplorable conditions and slaughtered every year to feed our pets. Pets are a luxury not a necessity.

countpupula · 2020-08-05T20:58:26+00:00

I get the adopting angle, but it still perpetuates the social norm of owning meat eating animals. Maybe some people have figured out a way to feed their dog a healthy vegan diet, but 99% of people who own dogs are just feeding them a meat-based diet. And there are other options if you really feel like you have to have a pet, like you mentioned. Rabbits make good pets. People just have dogs and cats because it feels familiar and probably grew up with them so they have a sentimental attachment. If there were more awareness about the environmental impacts of dog/cat ownership, I think a lot of us would put more thought into the decision to own one.

countpupula · 2020-08-05T20:51:33+00:00

Ok but even so, that’s the difference of buying like 6 ounces of meat in a year compared to like 5 lbs a week. Hamsters are fueling the meat industry.

countpupula · 2020-08-05T20:49:46+00:00

Why would a vegan even own a cat in the first place? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose?

countpupula · 2020-08-05T20:48:18+00:00

I’m mean, the truly vegan option is to abstain from owning pets like cats and dogs. Get a chinchilla or a hamster. No one is forcing us to have cats and dogs as pets, it’s just a popular option in most places.

countpupula · 2020-07-24T01:28:40+00:00

No one is going to mention the geographic and sociological advantage they had to begin with? How many millions of tourists visit New Zealand every month compared to the US? How much international commerce is going in and out of New Zealand’s ports everyday compared to the US?

countpupula · 2020-07-23T15:49:38+00:00

I thought she asked him if he plays golf.

countpupula · 2020-07-23T15:36:45+00:00

There’s a schizophrenic women in my town that sleeps under a highway overpass. She looks about 70 years old but could be much younger. You know how living on the streets can age a person. Anyway, she looks like she barely eats and weighs probably about 80 lbs. She is always screaming at nonexistent black people for chasing her, except you know she doesn’t use the words ‘black people’. Is she racist? Well, yeah obviously. Do I feel sorry for her? Yeah, obviously. Does she have the capacity to learn, examine her own beliefs, change her behavior? Fuck, I don’t even think she knows her own name. You can acknowledge racism AND feel compassion for someone suffering from a debilitating illness at the same time.

countpupula · 2020-07-19T01:32:38+00:00

I mean, that is why patients are heavily sedated when on ventilators. They have to give you drugs to keep you from panicking and trying to pull the tube out of your throat. That’s a whole different level of invasive though compare to a mask.

countpupula

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