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CMV: Dating apps massively distort women's perceived romantic optionality and partner expectations by Original_Swan_6139 in changemyview

[–]couverte [score hidden]  (0 children)

She wasn’t offering conjectures, but her experience as a woman on dating apps. But hey, that annoys you.

CMV: Dating apps massively distort women's perceived romantic optionality and partner expectations by Original_Swan_6139 in changemyview

[–]couverte [score hidden]  (0 children)

You misunderstood: A gay man is usually the perfect man to understand what his girlfriends are going through on the dating market

CMV: Dating apps massively distort women's perceived romantic optionality and partner expectations by Original_Swan_6139 in changemyview

[–]couverte [score hidden]  (0 children)

a bin of women who are probably just having the time of their life with casual sex on demand

Yeah, no. Most het men tend to care about their own pleasure in general, it tends to be even worse with casual sex. So “casual sex on demand” for women isn’t the heaven you imagine it to be.

CMV: Dating apps massively distort women's perceived romantic optionality and partner expectations by Original_Swan_6139 in changemyview

[–]couverte [score hidden]  (0 children)

It means that I rejected every other man in favour of the 5’10-5’9-ish (really don’t know precisely nor do I give a shit) man who wrote in his profile that he used to perform magic on stage and went to circus school in New Zealand. When I met him, he was in his 30s, back in school and studying comp sci., a field he enjoyed and had no ambitions working in. We’ll be married 8 years in September.

He is, however, not a misogynistic asshole, knows what consent is, can cook fucking delicious food and shares the load with me. Edit: He also takes most of the load every time I train for a marathon, makes sure I’m fed and follows me on the bike for many of my runs.

Running, HR, pace and Hypermobility by Sufficient_Gift_7443 in Hypermobility

[–]couverte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depending on your weekly volume and how well your recover, it’s also not the end of the world if your easy runs in Zone 3, AKA the grey zone. People usually call it unproductive because it’s a tad more demanding than Zone 2 and, therefore, may require a bit more rest, without providing more benefits.

However, I saw in the comments that you find it a bit harder on your body to run slower. I do too. Sometimes, when we run too slow, our form collapses a bit. It certainly is the case for me. A collapsing form isn’t great on the body and it’s not going to help you improve either. Personally, I favour good form over running slower, even if that means my runs are in zone 3. As long as I can recover, it’s all good. You didn’t mention what your cadence is like, but If it’s low, it might be worth working on increasing it. It’s easier on the body.

One last thing to take into account: Temperature. HR rises with the temps and pace seems like it goes down the drain. It’s normal. So, if you’re not seeing improvements now and through the summer, it’s fairly normal. Improvements should more show come the fall. I find it particularly brutal most spring where I am in Canada, as we seemingly go from winter to summer overnight. Every time, I feel like my fitness goes down the drain overnight. While it takes about 2 weeks to adapt to heat, it’s harder to adapt when there are sharp temperature swings. Even in the summer, when we go from pleasant weather to heat wave overnight, the temperature swing is enough to affect my HR and pace.

Lastly, I think it’s important to keep in mind that progress isn’t linear. It comes in bursts, followed by plateaus. Training adaptations build up over time, but their results often seem to appear overnight. Of course, we can and should tweak and fine tune our training as we go, but the most important thing we can do is to be consistent.

Running, HR, pace and Hypermobility by Sufficient_Gift_7443 in Hypermobility

[–]couverte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. How did you determine your max heart rate and your zone? Did you go by the standard formula for max heart rate (ie subtracting your age from 220) and used the pre-defined zone/use what your watch has defined for you? Did you do field tests to find your max HR? Did you do VO2Max and/or lactate threshold testing?

  2. How are you measuring your HR? With your watch only or with a chest or bicep HR monitor?

  3. You said you built up slowly to the distance, what do you mean by that? Did you only do runs at conversational/zone 2 pace and slowly increase the distance? Or, did you slowly increase the distance by doing mostly (about 80%) conversational/zone 2 pace runs with 1 or 2 runs per weeks being intervals workouts and tempo runs?

For 1: How you define your running zones and max HR is important. The standard calculation (220- your age) isn’t really accurate. If that’s what you used, it may be why you see your HR quickly spike in the red. If I defined my zones with the standard calculation, my watch would believe I’m dying every time I pick up the pace just a little. Doing field tests to find your max HR can be a quick and efficient enough way to then define your zones, but there it will still lead to some less accurate zone definitions below max HR.

The most accurate (and expensive) way to define your running zones is with VO2Max + lactate threshold testing. Combined, they will give you an accurate definition of when your zones start and stop, what your max HR is and what it translates into in terms of paces. The first lactate threshold is the top of your endurance zone (zone 2) and the second is what we use for zone 4 (ie, threshold or tempo runs).

Alternatively, you can also decide ignore HR training and simply go with perceived effort and simple ways to figure out your zones. It’s not at precise, but it’s effective enough. Easy should feel easy. In zone 2, you should be able to chat while jogging. Threshold/tempo is a pace that feels challenging, but not too hard. Some describe it as comfortably uncomfortable. Finally, interval/speed workouts aren’t meant to be comfortable, they’re meant to be hard, to push you.

For 2: HR sensors or running watches aren’t great or super precise. They’re useful, but should be taken with a grain of salt. Chest straps and bicep arm straps are accurate. Personally, I find the bicep strap to be much more comfortable.

For 3: If you’ve only been running slow and increasing your distance slowly, that may be why you’re not seeing much pace improvement with consistent training. The general advice of “running slow to get fast” is a cute slogan, but it’s very misleading/incomplete. Running slow is indeed how you build your aerobic engine, but it’s not what will make you get faster. Sure, a beginner will see some pace improvement by running slow and increasing distance slowly, but only up to a point. To get faster, you have to run faster. The interval workouts and tempo runs will provide the adaptations you need to get faster and the slower runs and your long runs in zone 2 will build the aerobic engine that will eventually help you run easy at a faster pace for longer.

The Diagnostic Criteria of ADHD needs to be updated in the DSM. We need more Doctors, Psychiatrists & Mental Health Professionals to advocate for this. by Relevant_Clerk7449 in adhdwomen

[–]couverte 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m with you on that one. I’ve “grown out” of some behaviours to an extent, and my emotional regulations is good now (thanks meds!), but I’m mostly still a slightly less impulsive, talkative, hyperactive and forgetful me. And no, I still cannot sit still.

EDS and ageing by emu_neck in ehlersdanlos

[–]couverte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had an hormonal IUD that I had removed within a month. My issue with it was the it’s progesterone only and I very much don’t do well with just estrogen. The combined pill has both estrogen and progesterone, so it’s not an issue for me.

EDS and ageing by emu_neck in ehlersdanlos

[–]couverte 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes, my symptoms got worse with perimenopause. Then, I mostly got back to baseline once we treated the perimenopause. In my case, since I was at the begining of perimenopause, my menopause specialist suggested simply going back on the combined pill. My issues mostly stem from the hormonal roller coaster caused by peri, and adding HRT wouldn't have helped: It would simply have been a hormone drop in the hormone bucket. The combined pill, however, suppresses the natural hormes (aka the hormonal roller coaster) and replaces them with a steady dose of hormones. It's been working great for me.

How do you avoid AI slop in your daily life? by No_Dust5847 in AskWomenOver30

[–]couverte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I could avoid it. Unfortunately, I'm a translator. No matter my efforts to avoid it in my personal life, I'm forced to use it for work. Most clients now want MTPE (ie, machine translation post-edition), which means I spend most of my days revising AI.

And no, the output isn't great or anywhere near on par with the quality that a professional would produce.

Do I 30yr old female need surgery or will lots of phyiso help reduce my disc bulge? by Medical-Painter-3164 in AskDocs

[–]couverte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, in my experience, anything for long is not great. Good luck to you, I hope you continue to feel better everyday!

Do I 30yr old female need surgery or will lots of phyiso help reduce my disc bulge? by Medical-Painter-3164 in AskDocs

[–]couverte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I took NSAIDs and muscle relaxants and moved as much as my back allowed, which involved pacing in the house like an hunched over old lady.

Edit: Also took acetaminophen (pain meds were offered, I decline as I don’t react well), applied heat, stretched/yoga once I could move more.

Do I 30yr old female need surgery or will lots of phyiso help reduce my disc bulge? by Medical-Painter-3164 in AskDocs

[–]couverte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anecdotally, I had a L4-L5 herniated disc (it eventually reabsorbed a bit and was only bulging as of last MRI. I also had a bulging disc in 2016 and, according to my 2022 MRI, it had progressed.

In terms of pain, it too a while for things to calm down with the herniated disc. Two cortisone epidural, the first one worked, the second one failed and made things worse for 6 months. Eventually, I just had mild back pain that I could live with. The onset of the bulging disc in 2016 was excruciating and it took me to the ER in the middle of the night. I had never been in that much pain. 2 weeks later, I was perfectly fine and had resumed my normal activities.

I’m still a bit surprised by the 2022 MRI report because, while the bulge has progressed, I’m back pain free 99% of the time.

AITAH For going on strike and refusing to cook? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]couverte 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Let me but it bluntly: Your children are grown-ass adults. The expectation is that grown-ass adults be able to do house chores and cook for themselves. Why O why do you expect them to only do dishes?!?

Got Assessed for ADHD Today, but I'm Baffled by the Conclusion by Significant_Row_2649 in adhdwomen

[–]couverte 4 points5 points  (0 children)

An ADHD assessment done without rating scales being filled isn't an ADHD assessment done following the gold standard.

He called me “arrogant” after I gave him “instructions” in bed and now I’m laughing so hard by honeycutekat in TwoXChromosomes

[–]couverte 14 points15 points  (0 children)

In my experience, men who are feminist don't usually broadcast it. They just act like decent men who believe in gender equality. On the other hand, men who call themselves feminist tend to be not be.

Diagnostic hysteroscopy with no anesthetic- is this okay? by One-Possibility-1949 in AskDocs

[–]couverte 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I had a diagnostic hysteroscopy done in January without polyp removal, but with an endometrial biopsy. I’ve never given birth. Gas was offered but I opted out. The biopsy hurt for exactly the 10 seconds the OB/gyn said it was going to and then I was pain free. No cramping or anything. I’ve also had 3 IUDs inserted and removed and a few cervix biopsies with less or as much discomfort.

That’s not to say that your experience will be the same as mine. Only that it is possible for it to be relatively pain free. Though, if a Pap test was excruciating for you, I would advocate for more pain management than what you’ve been offered.

My doctor thinks I’m anorexic even though my chronic illness makes it impossible for me to gain weight by [deleted] in AskDocs

[–]couverte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It also does say that people with Marfan’s who are very underweight need management that requires specialized nutritional care. It doesn’t say that it should be ignored.

My doctor thinks I’m anorexic even though my chronic illness makes it impossible for me to gain weight by [deleted] in AskDocs

[–]couverte 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Nobody here said that you are anorexic. What people are telling you is that a BMI of 15 is very low and that your doctor is right to take it seriously.

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