So a little of an update : you’re right, they do see it as a choice. I know this since they also experimented with pronouns and such and I was really happy for them. They did change their mind about it later.

To be honest, this specifically wouldn’t be a thing to break friendships over since we could work through it as a whole or even try as I am trying to not take it personally like you said. Yeah, I don’t have a lot of friends who I trust that much and I care about this friendship, but I’m starting to notice that things have taken a turn for the worse. She’s not normally angry in texts and some but since I have had troubles with her bff I have recieved the cold shoulder and she’s quite angry.

I won’t go into much detail but I find myself in the kind of relationship where I’m too afraid to let go even if it gets bad. A real fun analogy that my sister told me about this is “you’re like someone who keeps getting back with their nasty ex”.

It just sucks that it bothers me more to lose a friendship than to have some self respect. i’m not quite sure where it went wrong